Featherbrite's Tale
by metroanime
Summary: In an alterniverse, Ranma finds an imaginary friend, or is she...
1. Default Chapter Title

Featherbrite's Tale, the Bet. v 2.6  
by Gregg Sharp based on Rumiko Takahashi's situations/char  
  
CJ_Angel TM CJAngel (mentioned but does not appear) other char TM Jack Chalker, JRR Tolkein, Pioneer, and various other sources credited in the chapters they appear. Otherwise standard disclaimers, limitations, substitutions and refunds apply.   
  
1: A Nervous Child (ANC)  
  
"Adventure? No thank you. They make one late for supper." - B. Baggins  
  
"I'm *not* stupid, I'm *not* expendable, I'm *not* going!" - F. Baggins  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
The yattai sat in the forest clearing, with two small tents nearby.  
  
The woman who walked into that clearing was out of phase with that reality, invisible and unable to affect anything directly. Despite her invisibility, she was wearing a fine gown spun of moonbeams and starlight.  
  
Her name was Titania, the Queen of Faerie of the Sidhe.   
  
She'd won the Bet, and while many of those present had cried "cheat" (especially Loki, but he'd always been a poor sport), Titania was not one that even the Norse god of mischief wanted to cross without a much better payback.  
  
Titania smiled and watched invisibly as five year old Ranma stirred,then got up to go relieve himself. The child was feeling particularly lonely and unhappy, having just left his best friend Ucchan behind.  
  
Now other bets were being exchanged, after the passage of the Bet. Toltiir, an Elder god of mischief and chaos, had made the Bet at Mimir's Well. The smallest "pebble" creating the best "ripple" in the timestream. Favors had been called in, and Titania had won. Whether by cheat or popularity was another question altogether and depended on who you consulted.  
  
Who would Ranma end up with? Nabiki? Ukyou? Akane? Kasumi? Shampoo? Oberon? Vladimir? Tatewaki? Kodachi? There were even a few bets being made on a Ryouga-Ranko match, which amused Titania no end. There were wagers placed on how many ripples, on how often things changed, and on the   
"happiness index" of the whole group. One wagerer had even tried to place a bet on how many suitors Ranma ended up with. Only one person had bet that he ended up alone. Of course, you got excellent odds that way.  
  
Titania watched Ranma move off, and felt it as a temporary timeline clicked into a permanent mode. Now it was time to sit back and watch to see what developed. The timeline still might go the way of many and merge back into a mainline or just merge with another similar line.  
  
Only time would tell.  
  
------1981-------  
  
Ranma wandered from the camp. He wanted to go back and visit Ucchan. Why had the other boy been running after him? Pops said to forget about him, but he was Ucchan's buddy! It really hurt to leave another friend behind.  
  
Too many. This wandering life, with no roots, had its benefits but also its heartaches. He would get to know someone only to say goodbye the next day. Only his father remained constant.  
  
Still, for whatever reason, they had the okonomiyaki cart, so at least they were still eating well. Not for much longer though, the supplies were nearly gone.  
  
The tinkling of bells caught Ranma's attention. A tiny pink glow, visible inside an enormous spider's web.  
  
Ranma saw the huge and hideously black spider, and the scene seemed to split. One image was of a Ranma who ran back to his camp, to later awaken and think it was all a nightmare.  
  
That Ranma faded.  
  
The other Ranma solidified and threw rocks at the big hairy spider until it fell. A tree branch impacted the thing three times until it was reduced to splattered bug bits. Ranma had absolutely no idea what kind of spider it was, but anything bigger than his head was not something he wanted crawling around while he was asleep.  
  
If he knew that this was actually a Bog Imp (Third Class), he would likely have been far more   
careful.  
  
"Thank you," came a voice like chiming bells. "Could you please free me, little boy?"  
  
Ranma turned and stared at the butterfly caught there in the web. Carefully he freed it, using another tree branch push the sticky webs away from the creature. "What are you, anyway?" It kinda looked like that pixie on the "Aura Battler Dunbine" ads he'd seen.   
  
"You call my kind yousei here, though my kind are called faerie elsewhere. Thank you, son of Adam, my name in your reckoning is Featherbrite." Bri'te Fau Tur curtseyed to the relatively huge human child and tried to recover from the weakening spell that the Bog Imp had used.  
  
"My pop's Genma." Ranma wasn't too sure what he was looking at. Pink pastel wings that seemed a cross between a butterfly and a dragonfly, the figure looked mainly like a human woman, nude, with long tapered pointed ears. There were other differences, particularly with enormous (comparitively) long eyes.  
  
"Well, then, son of Genma. You have freed me, so ask me a wish, and if it is within my power, I shall grant it." Featherbrite nodded. There were Rules about this sort of thing, and they had to be followed. Form was very important to her tribe.  
  
"You must not be very strong if a spider was gonna eat you. What kinda wish?" Ranma sniffled. He still missed his buddy Ucchan.  
  
"True. My personal power rating is not impressive in the manner of my kind." The six inch tall figure glided closer, examining the child. "Wow, you've been through some serious problems." There were aberrations in the child's aura she had trouble interpreting.  
  
"Can you grant a wish that I'm back home with my mother?"  
  
"If I knew where your mother was, I might be able to take you there." Featherbrite paused. "Uhm, why exactly are you here, and not with your mother?"  
  
Ranma gave his muddled explanation of why they were travelling, that he was to learn and devote himself to the martial arts.  
  
"Isn't that...kinda limiting?" Featherbrite had no idea about normal human childhoods, despite the number of centuries she had been alive. It all just didn't seem right. "If you focus only on martial arts, won't you be kind of stuck for the times you're not fighting?"  
  
"Dunno." Ranma hadn't thought about it that much.  
  
"Well, then, have you decided what you want to wish for?"  
  
"How about I wish you could be my friend?" Ranma held his pinky up.  
  
"You wish for me to be your friend?" The faerie blinked. Well, certainly the child seemed to need one. It was an unusual wish. Children were very important to the Sidhe, as were promises. Not that there weren't a few Sidhe who wouldn't steal children away to a Faerie Mound or seek to bend a promise into nearly unrecognizable interpretations. Seeing the child nod in response, Featherbrite smiled. "Deal."  
  
"Umf," Ranma nodded once, solemnly, just like he'd seen his father do.  
  
----1982----  
  
She'd tracked the cart's trail back, Ranma following. Genma would catch up eventually, but for now there had been something wrong about the deal that had Featherbrite seeking answers.  
  
A bell-like voice said something very nasty when she had discovered it.  
  
Having gotten to know Genma Saotome, taking the little girl along on the training journey would scar her for life. At the very least she'd be abandoned somewhere along the line. At worst? Some of Genma's training exercises were very effective if insane and/or life-threatening.  
  
Still, sleepers can be fairly easy to manipulate via their dreams, and the damage wasn't too bad.  
  
Though some faerie were better at glamour and illusion, deceit and falsehood, they tended to go with the Unsidhe. Featherbrite was of the Sidhe and determined to be a good role model for her new friend.   
  
Ukyo relaxed some in her sleep, followed by her father. Ranma didn't know of the agreement. Ranma didn't *want* to leave his friend Ucchan behind. The image of Ranma weeping for yet another lost friend, of waving goodbye from the cart as he tried to be cheerful for his buddy, all images that Featherbrite had gotten from Ranma himself or observed at night on her own.  
  
As their minds accepted the doubt that Ranma was guilty of the knowledge of the arrangement, Featherbrite relaxed slightly. Now they could heal, perhaps. It was better than allowing those feelings of betrayal to fester over the years.  
  
"Ranchan no baka," mumbled Ukyo as the dream continued. Featherbrite left immediately though. Ranma would have to be told, eventually.  
  
Behind her, a father and a daughter came independently to the same conclusion in their hearts.  
  
Genma Saotome was a louse.  
  
-----1983-----  
  
Ranma had just turned seven, and Featherbrite was miffed at Ranma's father. This was, however, something that occurred on a regular basis.  
  
"I can't believe that man, honestly," she huffed, her little bell-like voice breaking off into the same monologue she usually had regarding the youth's father. As it was repeated almost daily, Ranma had learned to tune it out.  
  
"Oh, come on, Brite. He just wants me to focus on the Art." Ranma looked a little sadly at his present, though. The wooden flute the diminuitive fairy had made for him was smashed beyond even Featherbrite's ability to put back together.  
  
"Ranma, I want to start teaching you some things beyond the Art. Things that may not help you in a fight, but that will help your life outside the match." Featherbrite didn't add that this was also to take a large stick and forcibly insert it in Genma's eye. While most faerie couldn't even begin to understand typical standards of moral behavior, they tended to tone some of it down around human children.  
  
With as few births as occurred among the faerie, children of any kind were seen as a blessing most wondrous.  
  
While Genma Saotome may have had a lot in common with certain fey folk, his tendency to endanger his child was not.  
  
Featherbrite had been able to observe a lot more human behavior back when Ranma had started attending school and thought she had the basics down. Leaving Ranma for brief periods to spend a lot of time in a human library had helped enormously, though using faerie magic to decipher the text had been a bit draining.  
  
"Okay, I guess. Like a new game?"  
  
"Yes," Featherbrite nodded happily. "A new game entirely. If you stand in the middle of this ring, I will take you to someplace new, where a second here is an hour there."  
  
------1984----  
  
Genma stared at what was becoming a usual sight. After two years of this, he still had no rational explanation for some of the odd stuff that happened around Ranma.  
  
In this case, food. Here they were in the mountains of Japan, near a monastery where the monks lived lives of aesthetic hardship.  
  
Genma's stomach grumbled as he looked at the small mound of banana peels, apple cores, orange rinds, and other foods that somehow the boy had managed to forage during the night.  
  
He puzzled over the foreign words on the bottle, wondering what the heck "Flintstones Chewables with Iron" was, and where the boy had gotten THAT.  
  
He'd wanted the boy to eat ONLY rice. It would toughen his stomach and then Ranma would have a much more efficient digestive system.   
  
Besides, if Ranma ate only rice then Genma himself could get the good stuff.  
  
So, he had to find out how Ranma was getting this food, and stop it.   
  
Or at least get to it before Ranma did.  
  
That and figure out why he kept getting the feeling that someone was laughing at him.  
  
---1985----  
  
Ranma blinked at the sight of the first faerie he'd seen other than Featherbrite.  
  
The faerie in question blinked at the first human he'd *ever* seen. "Somehow I'd pictured them bigger, I did."  
  
"He's just a child, Seymore," said Featherbrite.  
  
Ranma stared. Big. Really Big. He'd come to think of his father as big and powerful looking. Comparitively, this guy was Size Category: Humongous. Twelve feet high and almost as wide, vaguely humanlike but with clumps of fur and a shaggy face that raised homely to an artform, all in shades of light tan. His voice seemed to have a Northern Japanese accent and the same consistency as a gravel crusher. "Neat!"  
  
Seymore turned to the little pixie and spoke in his usual Cockney burr. "I like him. He's kinda cuddly or something loik that."  
  
"Do ya wanna fight?" Ranma asked. He bet this guy was nearly as good a fighter as his dad.  
  
"Well, that's not very noice," said Seymore, managing to look hurt. "Oim just a poor farm ogre, wot I do to you?"  
  
"He means sparring, his father keeps on him that the only thing that matters is a style of fighting they call 'martial arts'." Featherbrite didn't think much of Genma, but tried not to say anything directly insulting in front of Ranma.  
  
Seymore thought about this for a second. "Sounds like a right unpleasant fellow. Well, c'mon. Oi was about to take some pies outta me oven and the lad looks like he could use something stickin' to his ribs, he do."  
  
Which turned out to be one of the fastest ways to Ranma Saotome's heart. Good food in copious amounts had that sort of effect on him.  
  
---1986----  
  
Genma looked over at where a ten year old child named Ranma was reading some book and shook his head.  
  
Ranma was a wimp. He, Genma Saotome, had failed. Failed miserably to steer his son on the True Path of Martial Righteousness.  
  
The boy wouldn't steal. He wouldn't lie. He talked about a Code of Honor. Where he got such strange ideas, Genma had no idea. The Code Of Honor that Genma had taught him was what one would expect of Anything Goes martial artists. Anything Goes if it served Genma's cause.  
  
Ranma kept showing up with books and magazines and ancient scrolls. Some dealt with martial arts, many didn't even meet that level of acceptability. Sun Tzu's "Art Of War" was one thing, but what use was his current reading material- "Lord Of The Rings" going to be? Gymnastics had its place, to be sure, but it was still wasteful to spend time *reading* when Ranma could be practicing the Art.  
  
Then there was all the strange techniques Ranma kept coming up with that he claimed his imaginary friend was teaching him. Some might have originated in those books, but other skills had to have been taught. But from *where*?  
  
Instead of stealing food, the boy would get out a hat, kneel down in the plaza or market, and begin playing tunes on that bamboo flute. People actually paid Ranma to keep playing. He would "find" things for people, and get more money that way. Then he'd BUY food.   
  
This was as unlike the Master's training as it was possible to get.  
  
The shame of it all weighed heavily on Genma. The Master's training had been painful and humiliating, but effective.   
  
Why else would two lazy responsibility-dodging... ahem two potential martial artists petition a panty thief to become his disciples. Because they had seen the short little fellow run rings around policemen with martial arts training, and had used a number of devastating techniques to deal with outraged villagers. Such a powerful discipline might look strange, but clearly was extremely powerful.  
  
They hadn't expected quite the level of suffering they had gone through, but as Soun had pointed out - it still beat a real job.  
  
Genma had set out to put Ranma through the same thing. Oh, some of it he'd turn down a bit. Other parts he turned up accordingly. Had to achieve a balance somewhere. Clearly though, he had failed to be tough enough on his son.  
  
Turning his gaze to the heavens, he implored them as to WHY he had such a worthless son! Where had he gone wrong?  
  
What he said, however, was to the shopkeeper. "Two deluxe beef ramen." Ranma wouldn't begrudge his father the money.   
  
This was another sign to Genma that he had failed.  
  
---------  
  
Genma found himself puzzled. This was very familiar territory.  
  
Genma found himself giving up in disgust. This was rapidly becoming familiar territory as well.  
  
That he disliked these constant foiling of his plans was more than a little understated. He truly HATED this sort of thing but was learning that Fate (or something) had other plans.  
  
The third attempt to get Ranma to learn the Catfist had ended about as well as the other two. Tie Ranma up in fish sausages, throw him into a pit of starving cats, instant unbeatable fighter. Genma turned his eyes heavenwards and wondered how something so simple could turn so wrong.  
  
First time, in went Ranma. Genma had sat back, waiting to see his son ripped and clawed by the hungry cats. Except that *somehow* the fish sausages had ended up being thrown back up into his lap. Somehow (Genma didn't know how) his pockets and parts of his clothing had become stuffed with bits of fish. Genma had spent a moment being puzzled before cats had starting making impressive leaps and somehow cleared the walls of the pit. In very short order, Genma had found himself being attacked by dozens of insanely hungry felines. He'd escaped, after all, he was too old to learn such a technique.  
  
The second time, Genma had been better prepared. He'd thrown Ranma in, closed the lid over the pit, then run behind a set of concrete pipes used in construction. After a few moments, his curiosity got the better of him and he snuck a peek. There had been Ranma, surrounded by cats.   
  
Unfortunately Ranma had somehow divided the fish cakes up into roughly even portions and given all of the cats enough to eat.  
  
The third time, Genma had taken no chances. One hundred starving cats, check. Ranma tied up so that he couldn't possibly get loose, check. Liberally smeared flesh and clothing using fish paste, fish oil, and with a light caviar garnish behind each ear, check. Lid in place, check. He'd spent days arranging things so that everything would be perfect.  
  
When he'd come by the next morning, there had been a curious thing. The entire lot was surrounded by toadstools! How odd, but Genma knew enough about foraging not to eat these. In went Ranma. The caged cats were upended into the pit, and Genma had thrown the lid down immediately and stepped back.  
  
Four hours later, Genma looked down into the empty pit and wondered how Ranma had managed to screw up his plans THIS time. Such a disobedient child. Genma had to admit, though, the boy was getting really good as an escape artist.  
  
Just as Genma was prepared to say to heck with it, a breeze blew over one of the pages of the training manual. As he read the next page of the Catfist, he reluctantly admitted that maybe not being able to teach Ranma that particular technique wasn't so bad after all.  
  
Sitting down and waiting for Ranma to show up, Genma looked again at the various precautions he'd taken, and had to admit that Ranma *was* rather good at vanishing. Maybe he'd learned a special technique after all...  
  
----1987-----  
  
Seymore groaned from his bed. Every other time they'd come, the farm ogre had had something wonderful baking and had loaded Ranma down with as much food as the boy could stand.  
  
"Here now, lad, chin up, keep yur cool. Oi just reached the end of my span is all." Seymore said from his bed. "This sort of thing happens, eh?"  
  
"But..."   
  
"Oi lad," said the ogre, laying a hand on the boy's head and tousling it. "Twas just some high ranker elf, saw me was an ogre and did mistake me for one of those less civilized fellows. Stiff upper lip now."  
  
"But..." Ranma looked over the large cuts made on the ogre's body.  
  
"Fare thee well, moi lad. As long as ye remember me, Oi'm not gone, eh?" The farm ogre leaned back into the bed, and relaxed - fading away as he did so into a sparkle of light.  
  
"What?" Ranma blinked as he felt something pass through him, and smelled fresh baked apple pie and ground cinnamon.  
  
"When faerie die, they fade," Featherbrite said. "He's left you some of his magic. Use it well in rememberence of him."  
  
----1988-----  
  
Ranma dodged the stream of poison from the Bog Imp, and since he knew better than to try hitting it with his hand (which would have led to him getting poisoned), the young boy used his dagger to pin the hateful thing to one of the braces of the bridge.  
  
Not weakened by being in the Mortal Realm, nor from the effort of binding a pixie's magic, this one was proving considerably harder to flatten than the one who'd been trying to kill Featherbrite several years back.  
  
"Mortal, I shall devour you - flesh and soul. You will know a century of pain for this indignity," promised the Bog Imp.  
  
Ranma leapt away from a splash of yellow magic, and countered with a thrown rock. Pinned as it was, the Bog Imp couldn't dodge and went splat.  
  
"Very good, Ranma, you handled that quite well," said Featherbrite.   
  
"Yeah, well, if he's splatted he can't hurt me that much." Ranma shuddered. Hairy pumpkin-sized warty spiders didn't agree with him.   
  
"He was a pretty big one," noted Featherbrite. "Now, let me show you how to clean your dagger so the bronze doesn't become contaminated by the venom."  
  
----1989-----  
  
"Ranma, for the insult of the bread, I challenge you!"  
  
"Oh, keep your shirt on, Ryouga. What about all the fruit I've shared with you? What about all those pastries? You wanna fight me, I ain't got no problem with that, but you want to do it over a few lousy sandwiches?" Ranma tossed the eternally lost boy an apple streudel, turning his eyes heavenward in unconscious imitation of his father's frequent pose.  
  
"A FEW sandwiches?!" Ryouga caught the streudel, noting the light flaky crust, that it was so fresh that the icing was still moist and the apple filling was still hot as if it had just recently been pulled from the oven. Considering that the nearest bakery that produced these was over fifty miles away, Ryouga found himself wondering yet again just how Ranma did that.  
  
Ryouga shook his head, more of this magic stuff no doubt, and Ranma REFUSED to share how he did it. "How dare you try to change the subject! I made you a man-to-man challenge! And don't you dare cheat by using your magic on me!"  
  
"Yeah, right, Ryouga. Whatever." Ranma cracked his knuckles. "You wanna name the time and place?"  
  
"The empty lot behind my house!" Ryouga knew he could find it, even without using the magic compass that Ranma had given him. Like he could trust anything Ranma did. He knew better! Nobody was kind without expecting something in return! "Tomorrow afternoon!"  
  
"Yeah, okay. Ryouga." Ranma shook his head. "Hey, afterwards you wanna go by the mall? I'll bring my flute and your drums, we can practice that piece, maybe get enough money for a really decent meal?"  
  
Ryouga smiled, remembering the last group of lessons in drum techniques. ESPECIALLY remembering the way some of the girls from that other High School had looked their way. Ranma had been right about that, at least, musicians got attention from the girls. Ryouga dreamed of the day he had his own groupies. He was *so* tired of living in Ranma's shadow. That wouldn't last long, though. "DEAL!"  
  
---------  
  
Ukyo Kuonji dreamed.  
  
She dreamed of dark skittering forms of Unsidhe as they went about their dark business. Of scaly slimy Thyngs which stayed just out of sight but were waiting, just waiting, for their chance to steal the light.  
  
She dreamed of elven homes made of living trees. She dreamed of simple farm trolls baking pies. Of glittering golden dragons soaring amethyst skies. Of bright elven palaces so hauntingly beautiful that her heart skipped in its rhythm.  
  
She dreamed of her Ranchan, grown tall and lithe and strong.  
  
Ukyo Kuonji dreamed of reuniting with her Ranchan, of his apologizing for his ignorance and parting with her earlier. She dreamed of The Kiss between them, and then...  
  
(Censored to keep this story from getting a Lemon label) and then after tying him to the bed and working off the edge to her appetite, she (censored some more) and used the whipped cream and chocolate syrup. Talking about a "Ranchan okonomiyaki", she then (censored this too) and then (censored) only stopping when (oh boy is this censored) before collapsing into a sweaty pile of limbs.  
  
Ukyo Kuonji often had *very* naughty dreams regarding her Ranchan. It was the giggling pixie flitting in and out of them that concerned her.  
  
-----Mar/10/1990------LIME WARNING(1)---  
  
"Featherbrite, you've been naughty!" Ranma shook his head at the little pixie. They were in the Faerie Realm so he didn't have to pretend he was muttering to himself.  
  
"Hey!" Featherbrite huffed and turned away for a moment before curiosity got her to consider her changeling. Exactly which instance was Ranma referring to? He didn't know about the dreams she'd been sending to his "childhood buddy" did he? "Define 'naughty' if you would!"  
  
"It took me awhile to realize it, but you've been using enchantments on me, haven't you?"  
  
"Hmmmph." Featherbrite floated in midair and turned her back on Ranma. "You got some objection to that? You can eat food of the Faerie Realm without fear now. You're taller and stronger than you would have been just eating rice gruel and what that damn father of yours would have gotten you. What makes you think I've done anything else?"  
  
"From oyaji's reaction when we took the bath at that hot spring. His eyes bugged out and said something about how he HAD promised to make me a 'man among men' or some crap like that." Ranma paused. "I would'a thought it was just some kinda trick but the other people were staring too."  
  
"Oh." Featherbrite did something that was very rare for a faerie. She blushed.   
  
"What else have you done?"  
  
"Oh, errr." Featherbrite started to fiddle with her fingers. "Just a few little things, an infusion of faerie magic here and there. Enhancing this or that. Just little things that I'd thought would be good."  
  
"Promise me. No more enchantments on me unless you clear it with me ahead of time."   
  
Featherbrite turned back to Ranma and held her hand up solemnly. "If you feel that strongly about it. Except for normal healing magic, I promise not to cast any additional enchantments on you without your prior consent."  
  
"Good." Ranma knew that there were probably some loopholes there, but that this was as good as he could reasonably expect to get. "Now what exactly DID you do that got Oyaji so shocked?"  
  
Featherbrite looked embarrassed. "Well... I've heard how human males have this thing about size and stamina. I've also heard human females complain about a lack of stamina, endurance, and THAT sort of thing. So...'cause I didn't want MY friend to grow up with any sort of deficiency or inadequacy... I kinda made a couple of... corrections."  
  
"Why do I have a feeling I'm probably better off not knowing the details?"  
  
--Apr/13/1990-------END LIME WARNING----  
  
"So, you'll engage my Rink to your Ranma?"  
  
The woman was impressed with the young man. Quite handsome, a good cook, a musician, and a capable martial artist from what she could see. Yes, a fine catch. Staking out this martial arts tournament had proven to have unexpected dividends.  
  
"Well, I don't know. He's already..." Genma watched as the amazon put another nugget of gold on the table. "Sold."  
  
Genma gleefully made off with the money. This was wonderful. The boy was such a disappointment in so many ways, but he had become marketable somehow. What these various parents saw in Ranma was unclear to Genma, but he'd already sold Ranma six times to parents who wanted a good mate for their daughters.  
  
OK, he was tall and strong, considerate and honorable. Some women seemed to like those things. But he wasn't the dedicated martial artist Genma had wanted. Some women seemed to think he had sufficient potential to engage their daughters to his son and were willing to PAY for Genma's parental consent!  
  
Not that he had any intention of keeping any of the promises.  
  
Featherbrite was sure that Genma was doing this just to annoy her.  
  
----1991-----  
  
An impromptu jam session was underway in the Faerie Realm. It had been bound to happen sooner or later. Featherbrite was just as glad that it had been later.  
  
A minor functionary of the Seelie Court, one of the Princesses was out surveying when she heard one of Ranma's music lessons.   
  
(Faerie Princesses, contrary to what mortals might think, were actually fairly numerous. It was a constant problem as the number of Faerie Princes were relatively low. Ages ago Titania had decreed that Mortal Heroes were suitable lifemates for a Faerie Princess. Unfortunately Heroes of any stripe tended to be rather hard to find and justifiably paranoid when they were out doing heroic deeds.)   
  
She and her little group had come to find out what a mortal musician was doing in the Realms.  
  
So Featherbrite was hanging protectively near Ranma. Ranma was attempting to follow along on his flute a tune that was old when the world was young. Or, at least, a good deal younger.  
  
A grinning satyr set the beat with his drums. A pair of twin sylphs sang a wordless melody that seemed to curl in and around the voice of Ranma's flute. The whole thing had an appropriately otherworldly quality to it that wouldn't have sold well in mortal pop culture, but did fairly well as an attempt to gauge the mortal's skill level.  
  
"So... Bri'te," a hamadryad paused in her examination of the mortal. "Are all the tales about mortal lovers true? Are they a raging tempest to the cooler winds of faeriekind?"  
  
"I don't know, and I'm NOT going to find out. Nor should you, Holly! By the standards of his culture, he is still a child." This was one of the things that Brite had been nervous about. That one of the faerie would get curious and decide to lure Ranma off. ESPECIALLY as Ranma could well qualify as a Hero-In-Training.  
  
Tall (for his age), handsome, broad shouldered, a skilled fighter with magical talents, a bard with lore of the faerie. Featherbrite glanced nervously at the Princess. Ranma was WAY too suitably heroic for this to have gone unnoticed.  
  
"Hmm. He's your changeling, then?" Holly knew there was an old custom of saving human children from abusive parents, stealing and adopting the child. It was rarely done, especially nowadays with all the problems of living in the mortal realm and its technologies.  
  
"Yes," Featherbrite nodded, glad that Holly understood. "And a friend. He saved me from a bog imp when he was no bigger than a leprechaun. I would appreciate it if you didn't mess with him."  
  
Holly laughed. "I'll tell the others he's under your wing, so to speak. He's got more than one of us curious, you know. I take it the resistance spells woven through him are yours? Nicely done. They'd stand up to that nasty witch and her mother unless they pooled resources."  
  
"I've had years to build them up and refine them." Featherbrite nodded, proud of her handiwork. She had made those enchantments years ago, and they continued to strengthen on their own since her promise not to lay additional enchantments on Ranma.  
  
That promise didn't keep her from refining the ones already in place.  
  
Featherbrite looked nervously around. The Princess, the oriad, the naiad, and both sylphs were looking quite curiously at Ranma. Speculation and a certain degree of hunger were evident.  
  
She was just glad they weren't closer to Makai. That could have been bad.  
  
---------  
  
(1)- Featherbrite has never associated this closely with humans before, but has observed them off and on for over 9,500 years. Yes, she does have some truly odd concepts about humans. That's where some of the humor of this story will come from. She may be an ANC but she's definitely not an AKC (All Knowing Character).   
  
---------  
  
The Faerie Princess glanced at her handmaidens as they left the clearing.  
  
"Mistress?" The chief among them, a sylph, responded to the unspoken command.  
  
"That boy is the pixie's changeling?"  
  
"Yes, milady. Some nice protective spells too," the chief handmaiden noted. "Bri'te has indicated that he is a 'hero in training' or something."  
  
"A hero? How very... interesting." The Faerie Princess considered for a moment. "When is a mortal considered to have reached adulthood?"  
  
"By many standards, by their fourteenth mortal year. By others, not for at least two more such years. In some cases, it is not until their twenty first year. Pardon, my lady, but I'm not sure which is the case here. According to what Bri'te said, he will reach his sixteenth in another year."  
  
"Well, in a mortal year, perhaps I should look up this Ranma again."  
  
----------  
  
Ukyo meet Tsubasa Kurenai. Tsubasa meet Ukyo Kuonji.  
  
"If you haven't seen him for years, he isn't much of a fiance," opined the boy dressed as a girl. That he was now trying to grab her hands was at least not as bad as when he'd rubbed his face against her skirt. If he'd kept *that* up, she'd have ka-powied him into next year.  
  
"He's more of a man than you'll ever be," said Ukyo with confidence. She didn't know where her Ranchan was. Somewhere, probably dragged off to various exotic and dangerous locales by that idiot of a father he had. Still, being more of a man than this boy wearing a pink dress wasn't exactly saying a whole lot.  
  
Tsubasa looked over the cute girl in her little sailor suit school uniform, then spotted a similarly attired group of girls off in the distance. "Oh, hey girls! Do you want to go out for some tea?"  
  
Sighing in relief, Ukyo felt like spraying disinfectant on the body parts that pervert had rubbed against. Being captain of the Karate Club and heir of her family's school of Okonomiyaki based martial arts, she had to keep a certain reputation. Self-discipline. Honor. Enduring strength. Beating the royal crap out of some chikan (groper) might be satisfying but would reflect poorly on her status as one of the most popular girls in school.  
  
First you had to warn them. THEN, as her friend and team-mate Sheila would say, it was time for a serious ka-powie.  
  
-----------  
  
The elf-witch cackled, assuming her real form - becoming a withered skeletal figure. "You shouldn't be in the Faerie Realms child. Even though you bear some protective magic, you'll soon enough give up your will and join the others."  
  
"Others?" Ranma glared through the twisted black thorns that had risen up as a cage.  
  
"Yes, Mortal. Mortals are such silly creatures, they need the guidance of the fae. That's all you humans are, after all, cattle." The elf-witch cackled. "I've taken many. Children whose parents didn't warn them enough. Adults who have caught my eye and thought themselves capable. All eventually surrender to the inevitable and I drink of their essence."  
  
Ranma looked past her. "The dolls?"  
  
"Yes. I prefer such things. Devoted little toys whose only joy is what pleases me. They used to be a lovely young girl, whom I captured and tortured and tricked. Then her fiance came looking for her. From devoted couple with their paltry dreams to toys for my enjoyment." The witch smiled a snaggle toothed smile at him. "As you will be soon enough."  
  
Ranma seemed to consider this briefly, staring off into space. "So, you'd be what they call an UnSidhe?"  
  
"By philosophy if not actual affiliation, yes. Where did you hear that term anyway?" The elf-witch asked, unconcerned.  
  
Ranma reached out and grabbed the black briars with one hand. They crumpled. "From a few friends. Guys?"  
  
The elf-witch shrieked as invisibility spells were dropped and a set of elves riding dragonback charged into her encampment.  
  
"I never said I was alone," said Ranma, before grinning and moving to the attack himself.  
  
-------  
  
Genma was impressed. How he'd taught Ranma manuevers like this, he had no idea, which meant he was an even better teacher than he'd thought.  
  
Beast Talking. Ranma would whisper into the ears of a horse or dog or cat or bird, and the animal would respond as if it actually understood what he had said.  
  
Hidden Dragon. Ranma could seemingly negate his own weight, walking across the thinnest rice paper without breaking it or up a cliff or wall as if he had spider-powers.  
  
Ghost Movement. Like some legendary ninja, Ranma could seemingly step into the shadows and reappear elsewhere without a sound. At first Genma had thought that Ranma had somehow learned Umisenken techniques, but no - this was different.  
  
Eyes Of The Cat. In twilight or near dark, Ranma seemed to find his way without error or bumping into objects.  
  
Breath Of Life. A manner of chi flow that Genma had *almost* been able to see. Taking chi from his own body to strengthen another's chi flow.  
  
Second Wind. Replenishing your own chi from the natural ki flows of the planet.  
  
Iron Fist. Not the typical manuever of the same name. Genma had seen Ranma practice it and had been alarmed. Taking not only his own chi, but adding much of the surrounding ki, Ranma's fist gained the power of a wrecking ball. One punch that had left a concave dent 30 feet across in a cliff wall. Of course it had exhausted Ranma, but it was definitely a martial arts technique and a fairly powerful one.  
  
Yes, Ranma was coming along fine. It was just about time to start heading back. There was just one more stop to make.  
  
------March 1, 1992---  
  
"Ranma, I don't like this place," said Featherbrite unhappily.  
  
"It doesn't look that bad," said Ranma. "Just a balancing exercise, nothing more. Combat on top of bamboo poles. The only thing different is the pools of water." His eyes didn't look towards Featherbrite, he just seemed to talk out loud a lot.  
  
"C'mon boy, follow me," Genma leapt for the top of one of the poles, balancing himself quite easily.  
  
"Right behind you," Ranma also found balancing on the bamboo quite easy.  
  
"Don't fall in the springs," Featherbrite floated above Ranma's head. "I see some things here that are bad. Very powerful raw faerie magic, beyond anything I can handle. Neither your glamourie or resistance to enchantment will help you."  
  
Ranma leapt into battle with his father, ignoring his friend for the moment. Featherbrite watched as Genma fell into one of the pools and a panda emerged.  
  
The Jusenkyo Guide was rattling off something about curses which finally got Ranma's attention. Unfortunately he should have been paying attention to the panda.  
  
"Ranma!" Featherbrite extended as much of her magic as she could, trying to shield him from the effects of the curse.   
  
She felt the more powerful magic of the spring warping her own magic, overwhelming the shield she'd hastily placed over Ranma. All the times that she'd brought Ranma over to the Faerie Realm had left some residual magic within him too. Not to mention the various infusions and weavings of faerie magic she'd done over the years.  
  
Ranma looked down at herself and screamed. Featherbrite merely groaned and they both listened to the Guide going on about how a girl had drowned in the spring and now whoever had fallen in the spring took the body of a young girl. Though he'd never seen one with pointed ears or long eyes like that before.  
  
Ranma's attention went from her breasts to her back, and if anything the shock level was increasing.  
  
Featherbrite apologized and was explaining that her shield had been absorbed and twisted by the magic of the spring. That it looked like it wasn't permanent, but that there was probably a trigger that would allow a person in cursed form to return to normal.  
  
Ranma removed the top of her gi as she stepped out of the pool, dimly hearing the Jusenkyo Guide stutter and stop. Ranma reached over her shoulder, feeling the thin surface behind her, then pulling it forward to where she could see.  
  
Ranma glared, first at Featherbrite, then sought out the panda. Wings snapping wide and to the sides, Ranma got really angry and launched herself at the startled panda.  
  
Featherbrite flew along as best she could, but she was tired from the attempted shield, and the other two had strong emotions driving them on. Rescuing the Hibiki boy from a fall took most of her remaining energy, and she floated back towards Ranma's backpack and some rest.  
  
-----------  
  
"Don't eat that, Ranma." Featherbrite had a feeling about this. She had a bad feeling about this. Faerie tended to listen to such feelings.  
  
"Not a problem," Ranma replied, having ditched the old man long enough to conjure some elven waybread forth. Except he still hadn't gotten the hang of elven waybread and had gotten several roast beef sandwiches with a sort of ranch-horseradish sauce and cheese. Not that he was complaining. Or sharing with Oyaji, who would just ask a lot of questions and start yelling about the "true path of martial artists" and the like.  
  
"Uh oh, Ranma," Featherbrite clung to the girl's shoulder. "Remember when I told you that only the 'pure of heart' could see me?"  
  
"Yeah, go figure that oyaji can't see or hear you." Genma still thought that Ranma was talking to an imaginary friend.  
  
"Well, there are others who can. A magic wielder, or a psychic, or someone with ties to the supernatural can see me. There's an old woman over there who's staring at me."  
  
"You sure she's not looking at me? Are those damn wings showing again?"  
  
----  
  
Cologne couldn't help but staring. An Old One. She hadn't seen one of those in years. It was associating with that outsider woman. Now, did that mean the outsider was a mage, with the Old One a familiar? No, the relationship was clearly more friendly than a master-slave one.  
  
Shampoo had defeated Dowel and was yelling at the girl about controlling her panda. Cologne settled back to watch the fight, as the little Old One pointed towards a nearby kettle. The girl splashed herself, straightening up as...  
  
Cologne blinked. Shampoo had challenged a man? This could be interesting. A Jusenkyo-cursed man who associated with an Old One, no less. There was a danger for those who used chi to attentuate their lifespan, and that was ennui. This looked like it *just* could get interesting.  
  
As soon as the two were on the Challenge Log, Shampoo rushed forward - angered by this outsider not seeming to take her as a serious threat.   
  
The fight was brief, and once again, Cologne was annoyed that Shampoo had never managed to learn subtlety nor patience.  
  
"(Shampoo,)" Cologne hopped up to her favored Heir as she was picking herself off the ground.  
  
"(What is it, Great-Grandmother?)"  
  
"(Give this one the Kiss Of Marriage, then go with them, I will contact you shortly.)"  
  
Puzzled, Shampoo complied. At least he was cute. And taller and stronger than Mousse. Though there was something really nerve-wracking about him. Shampoo leaned back from having kissed this stranger, noting he looked a little stunned.   
  
The purple-haired Amazon licked her lips - this guy wasn't too bad. Maybe another kiss, just in case. Hmmm. Tasty! Hey, she could really get to like this. It wasn't like she had the opportunity to kiss anyone, Mousse would get really upset and start attacking anyone she tried to befriend. Though this outsider didn't seem to be doing anything yet. Maybe if she used her tongue like so.  
  
Ranma fainted.  
  
--------  
  
Waking from a slumber, Ukyo was *really* wondering about these weird dreams she sometimes got now. Though the panda skin rug in her dreams was a nice new addition.   
  
Having another girl around? This was just getting too weird for a nice girl from Kansai. Maybe she'd been working too hard lately.  
  
--------  
  
Genma waited until the amazon girl's back was turned, then struck as hard as he could manage, using one of her own bonbori.  
  
Nothing would be allowed to interfere in the plan to unite the two schools of Anything Goes martial arts. Even a cute and friendly Amazon girl. ESPECIALLY a cute and friendly Amazon girl.  
  
She hadn't explained that Amazon Law stuff to Ranma yet, as something had seemed to spook her about him. Genma knew that every so often Ranma would be talking to something that wasn't there. That sort of thing _would_ throw a few people off.  
  
Since it had occurred after leaving Ukyou, Genma had realized what it was. Ranma had been so attached to his Ucchan that he had invented an imaginary friend to replace her. It was a good thing he'd seperated the two when he had!  
  
Chains and locks fitted into place around the old steamer trunk. Then he nailed the lid shut. Finally he affixed a number of labels like "Biohazard" and "Do Not Open Until Christmas" on it. A quick use of some recently stolen funds, and the steamer trunk was shipped off to a brothel in Bangkok.  
  
Genma produced a hanky to wave goodbye to this girl who'd tried to come between Ranma and his destiny of marrying one of the Tendo girls. Now that it was so close to Genma's comfortable retirement, he could not take *any* chances.  
  
In a way it was too bad. Shampoo had proven herself to be a good cook. Ah well, any of Soun's daughters would be a wonderful cook as well.   
  
-------  
  
Featherbrite didn't buy it for a moment. The way that girl had been looking at Ranma, there was no way she'd just been following them to make sure they left the Amazon lands. She wasn't entirely sure what, but that hadn't been the whole story.  
  
No, the Amazon girl had been looking at Ranma *exactly* the way one of that Sultan's wives had looked at that ambassador. Hopefully this would turn out happier.  
  
She knew Ranma agreed that this was suspicious. Probably that baka Genma had done something to drive her off. Just like him, the old panda! Every time Ranma was going to make a new friend, his father would go hauling him off on further training.  
  
Featherbrite sighed and continued to search, knowing she'd be able to track Ranma by the bond they shared. This girl, though. Frankly, she'd been hoping that Ranma would get mated soon. Past time he had a mate, or two, or three. Why humans had to be so uptight about these things...  
  
There were still questions Featherbrite had that needed answers, and she hoped that by observing Shampoo she could figure them out.  
  
Except that the Amazon seemed to be able to sense her presence. Featherbrite had seen the Amazon get more and more nervous the longer she was around Featherbrite. Hmmm. Well, she'd see what she could do.  
  
------  
  
The panda had tried to drag the girl to the house, but she wasn't wanting anything to do with it. Specifically she was darting and looping in the air, trying to grab her backpack while staying out of the paws of that very panda.  
  
Finally, Genma managed to splash the darting winged girl with hot water after the rains stopped.  
  
After that, the panda was able to stun Ranma with a street sign and drag his unconscious body into the Tendo household.  
  
A few threats to keep the crowd from intervening, and when that one police officer had tried to stop the "wild panda" from doing something untoward, well. It was a good thing he turned into a panda. If it got out that Genma Saotome had been the one to beat up a Japanese police officer and throw him into a drainage canal? No. Far better that it remained a panda escaped from some zoo.  
  
Which led to said panda dragging his useless son to the Tendo place.  
  
-------  
  
Ranma woke up slowly, finding himself surrounded by three girls and a man of about his father's age. Moaning at the pain at the back of his head, he took in the auras of those present in the manner that Featherbrite had taught him.  
  
The man was a complicated blur, always shifting from one extreme to another. He had a bright glow that spoke of much experience, but the strength was "off" and Ranma didn't have enough experience to tell what was wrong with this picture. What the heck was purple and yellow supposed to signify?  
  
The oldest looking one was radiating white, pale gold, and a weaving of dark blue. Basically a nice young girl, beneath that there was a great sadness, and personal self-sacrifice. Ranma decided to be this girl's friend, to try to break down the shell and see if she could be healed.  
  
The other two also showed signs of that underlying sadness. The second one had just erected wall after wall around herself, while the younger fairly burned with a barely suppressed anger that was ready to be unleashed as soon as she could find something to focus it on. Underneath the walls or the anger there was someone nicer.  
  
Everyone in this family, Ranma decided, really needed some help. They'd all faced tragedy of some sort, and none of them had coped that well with it. Well, he could go along with this engagement nonsense for now, and leave when it didn't work out.  
  
"So this is Ranma?!" Nabiki licked her lips. Cute. There was a sense of something strange and exotic, something not quite right with him, but whatever it was seemed evasive. There was also a wild erotic sensual look that changed him from jock to a *very* interesting potential fiance.  
  
Ranma winced again as his head began to throb. "I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry to trouble you."  
  
"No trouble!" Soun gestured. "My eldest daughter, Kasumi, she's 19. My second eldest daughter, Nabiki, she's 17. My youngest daughter, Akane, she's 16. Pick any one you want, she'll be your new bride."  
  
"I told you, father, I HATE boys." Akane looked over the figure and decided that while he was cute, technically so was Kuno and look what a freak of nature HE was. Besides, there was something just *wrong* about the boy. Though she decided to be polite for now. After all, he wasn't ogling her like those idiots at school.  
  
Nabiki speculated. The boy had a thoughtful look to him, and he was major cute. She had taken stock of his physical attributes and been quite impressed. Maybe...  
  
Kasumi observed carefully. He didn't look THAT young. Something about the way his eyes looked at her sent an odd feeling along her spine. He was tall, broad, and had really nice muscle definition. He wouldn't have looked out of place on the cover of a romance novel. (Not that Kasumi would admit reading them. Oh heavens no. She had just seen them... somewhere.)  
  
Ranma decided. The angry one didn't require additional pressure, the eldest needed a friend, and the middle one had a large loneliness in her aura. Until he could figure a way out of this mess, go with the least damage or the most good.  
  
"Nabiki. No offense to you other two." Ranma smiled at both, noting the stunned expression on the youngest and the faint disappointment in the eldest. He'd have to try figuring that out later.  
  
"Interesting. Why me?" Nabiki felt uncomfortable at the attention, though also getting a thrill that SHE (the one who would have to BUY a date at Furinkan) had been chosen over Akane (unwanted suitors up the yin-yang). The two sisters had had a rivalry going for almost a decade, with the occasional appearance of outright war. This had gotten more subtle since Akane had turned her attention towards the family school of martial arts and proven more naturally capable than Nabiki. Which had marked Nabiki dropping martial arts and turning towards more cerebral pursuits.  
  
Kasumi frowned slightly. She knew she wasn't attractive, had a sex appeal of zip, but there had been a brief guilty hope that she would be chosen. Though he was younger, his voice was nice and he seemed polite. Two qualities she appreciated. Still he'd only been conscious for a few moments before being forced to choose a bride. No doubt Nabiki wearing a flattering kimono compared to Akane's sweaty yellow gi and her own housedress had clued Ranma in as far as who was the most interested in this engagement.  
  
"Well, er, it's that kimono of yours." Ranma noted Kasumi nodding and wondered what that was about. "Er, combined with your hairstyle, it just tells me how complicated your personality really is." Saotome special technique: verbal dodge.  
  
"Better you than me, sis," Akane snorted. She continued to stare at Ranma out of the corner of her eye, however. Much as she hated guys, she was used to being the center of their attention. Being casually but politely dismissed like that was annoying. Besides, he was acting atypical. He wasn't ogling or leering, he wasn't acting like a hormone-addled drooling idiot (most of the boys attending Furinkan) and he wasn't jumping at the chance to jump one of her sisters. So far, so good.  
  
Ranma thought for a moment then sighed. They may throw everything out now, but they'd find out sooner or later. "You may not want this, though. When I was in China, something terrible happened."  
  
Ranma explained his curse, that he'd gotten mixed up in some magic during his training journey, and then that fateful plunge into Jusenkyo. He was prepared for the disbelieving looks despite the panda-turned-father gorging himself in the background. Then he splashed himself.  
  
The sound of jaws dropping simultaneously around the room could be heard in what was otherwise near-total silence. Genma was the only one who didn't react (he'd just grabbed a supply of caramels and was dealing with toothlock).   
  
"Wings?" Kasumi stared at the pastel wings that vaguely resembled those of a dragonfly.   
  
"A girl?" Akane tried to figure out which emotion to go with out of the roil that had resulted from the day's revelations.   
  
Nabiki blink-blinked. The slender elfin form was looking directly into her eyes with eyes that seemed to see right through her and managed to convey a sort of sad understanding. Large luminous violet eyes that seemed to draw her into their depths. There was also a faint smell of raspberry/citrus in the air. It was the conveyed mood from those extraordinary eyes, however, the expectation that Nabiki would be disgusted and horrified by this change that cut through all the reactions swirling through her. She shouldered those reactions to the side and forced a neutral/friendly expression into place.  
  
"So," Nabiki finally managed, deciding to go with curiosity. She was Nabiki Tendo, she had a reputation to maintain, and she would not let these events phase her. "Are those wings functional?"  
  
Ranma blinked. She could feel...sympathy? Not pity exactly, but the middle girl was sorting through her own feelings. Ranma began a slow smile. "Do you want to see?" Ranma stepped out into the backyard and held out her hands. Maybe this would work out, she hoped so, she could really use someone to talk to right now. Featherbrite just didn't understand the human experience too well, and his father wasn't the sort to inspire confidence.  
  
Nabiki was quite hesitant, taking the sylph's hands out in the yard. She was rewarded with a bright smile from Ranma and an odd tingling sensation that seemed to pass from Ranma through her. Then she noticed that the sensation was almost of freefalling and the ground was no longer pressing against her feet.  
  
Looking down, Nabiki saw that both of them were merely a couple of feet up.  
  
"I noticed that if I'm carrying something, I can make it lighter and carry it, unless it's metal. I seem to have problems with anything metal." Ranma's voice was very calm and soothing, as if she half expected Nabiki to begin freaking out.  
  
Nabiki found the loss of control unsettling, but the possibilities of this mode of transport were already beginning to register. An old line in a manga about the Faerie Folk being slain by the touch of cold iron came back to her, and she looked with concern at her transformed iinazuke.  
  
"What are you doing with my sister!" Akane had been frozen with shock for a moment, then started stalking forward. In her vast years of experience, all boys were perverts, and the idea of becoming something like THAT was completely perverted. Nabiki didn't know how to fall, she could get easily injured from even a short drop. She was merely concerned for her sister, that was all.  
  
Kasumi found herself feeling something else, something almost completely new to her. Watching the two lift off, their hair drifting up as if both were weightless, to stand there drifting in midair... Kasumi actually felt a brief stab of jealousy. To effortlessly fly, free and unfettered, to be able to watch the house and her responsibilities dwindle away... Kasumi sighed at the pleasant fantasy.  
  
Ranma tightened her grip as Akane stalked forward, spreading her wings slightly. The two shot up into the air to almost rooftop height.   
  
Nabiki wasn't idle, her mind continuing to catalog and analyze the experience. She hadn't felt any acceleration, as if inertia had been somehow suspended here. More ideas began to flick into place. How fast could she go? How high? How far out did this weightlessness go? How much mass could Ranma negate?  
  
Nabiki glanced down as they drifted in place, then shut her eyes. Every instinct said that they were about to fall, that nothing was supporting them, that they'd get hurt when they hit.  
  
Seeing Nabiki close her eyes and clench her jaw, Ranma slowly lowered the two down again. She watched carefully, seeing more with the violet eyes of her cursed form than merely reflected light. Nabiki flinched slightly as her feet touched the ground, then she started breathing again.  
  
"Sorry, Nabiki, I guess you weren't ready for that..." Ranma was suddenly interrupted by having Akane standing a few feet away and venting.  
  
"You'd best not hurt her, Saotome." Akane stopped growling as Nabiki placed her hand over Akane's mouth.  
  
"Next time, Saotome, I want to be held a little bit closer and I am NOT looking down." Nabiki had thought of dozens of ways to make money on this sort of thing, and had surmised something that Ranma hadn't realized yet himself. This last was that the legends of Faerie generally represented them as being very open emotionally, if not quite human. Based on her limited exposure to both forms, she could see where the cursed form was much more expressive and open.  
  
And what was with the girl's perfume anyway? There was a smell as of a recent rain in a pine forest, somehow evocative of spring. And were her eyes changing color? Was that due to viewing them at different angles of lighting or something else? So many questions. Nabiki's curiosity was engaged, and it was a powerful thing once aroused.  
  
Being held at arm's length though, that had to go. She wanted a better safety margin. A glance over at her younger sister brought Nabiki a brief smile. A guy was paying attention to HER, not bowing and scraping to the little princess. She'd have to (subtly) rub Akane's face in it later, it was one of those things that Akane had always held over her... Akane the popular one, as opposed to Nabiki the feared one, or Kasumi the ignored one.  
  
Kasumi looked down and realized she'd dropped a cup while watching the brief flight. "Oh my. That was one of the good cups too."  
  
"Allow me," Ranma walked over, giving the still angry/concerned Akane a wide berth. Quite obviously she would have to be careful around the youngest. The youngest girl's aura was flashing through so many color cycles (though that light blue tinge of pride seemed to be the strongest) that Ranma wasn't sure at all of what the young lady was feeling. All the Tendos were flashing different emotions in quick succession, but it was especially noticeable in the father and youngest daughter. "I can fix this."  
  
Kasumi looked at all the tiny pieces of the cup. "I'll just get a broom."  
  
Ranma held her hands over the cup and began concentrating, finding the parts that were once together and convincing them to rejoin.  
  
Kasumi took a step back, but smiled as the pieces of the cup moved together, fitting back into a whole. The cracks finally smoothing over as the pieces fused as if it had never broken.  
  
Nabiki whistled. More money to be made, even better, now they didn't have to buy a new cup to replace the broken one. Even Akane blinked at this, the idea occurring to her that after she broke the bricks, Nabiki's fiancee could make them whole again. Never again having to buy new bricks could save that money for other uses.  
  
"Ah, to have such talent in the Art, but to waste it on such trivial things, Tendo!" Genma made a pleading gesture to the heavens. "What did I do to deserve such an ungrateful child?"  
  
Soun opened his mouth to reply then caught the looks Nabiki and Kasumi were giving Genma. Wisely, he shut his mouth. For some reason he could see the idea of adding panda steaks to the menu floating briefly on the air between his middle and eldest daughters. Surely that was just his imagination though.  
  
Kasumi picked up the cup and turned it over in her hands. There was no sign it had ever been broken. How useful! Her eyes caught Ranma's as the sylph reached for the kettle. "Can you do this on other than cups? Any other substances?" Kasumi immediately started to think of other household uses for such a talent.  
  
"Well, yeah, as long as it's a simple object and it isn't metal. I can't do metal too well for some reason." Ranma yanked at her ponytail in a nervous gesture, especially as Akane smirked. Ranma had a bad feeling about the look in her eyes.  
  
Akane was merely smirking because she now had a tool. This Ranma was a boy, and boy = pervert. If he got out of hand, he had trouble with metal and this could be used to teach him his place.   
  
Nabiki leaned against a wall and had an entirely different smirk. Simple objects, as long as they weren't made of metal? Seamless repair of breaks? Yen signs began to dance in her vision. Museums, archaeologists, wealthy people with expensive breakables. Just going down to a junkyard and finding broken things, then reselling the repaired versions could net her a fair amount of revenue.  
  
Her gaze flicked back to Ranma as he restored his masculinity and his humanity with a splash of hot water. Her gaze swept up and down his frame in an appreciative survey. She had expected some dumb lout, that the best she could hope for was that he was cute. She began tallying up the pluses and minuses and found, overall that she could live with the inconvenience of the minuses and enjoy the pluses. Nabiki's grin increased slightly as her eyes went exploring. She could think of a few pluses for both forms. His name meant "Wild Stallion"? She'd have to "accidently" run in on him in the bathroom sometime and find out if the name was appropriate.  
  
"So, Ranma," Nabiki still wasn't sure about this whole engagement thing, but a short term relationship didn't seem too unattractive, in fact it seemed downright lucrative. And not all the profit she was looking at was monetary in nature. "I've got some research to do, but don't forget you owe me a longer flight tomorrow."  
  
Ranma nodded, a faint smile showing on his face. He couldn't read her emotions as easily as when in his faerie form, but Nabiki didn't look nearly as angry or unhappy as she had earlier.  
  
Two others watched with very different feelings on the whole thing.  
  
--China----  
  
Featherbrite continued to watch the purple haired girl, who continued to peer into shadows as if she felt something was... off.  
  
"(Ah, Shampoo, and you have brought the Old One.)"  
  
Shampoo had been on edge for quite some time. She jumped into the air, trying to look in all directions at once. "(Where? What is it? I have felt like there was something there...)"  
  
Cologne sighed. "(Child, relax. The Old Ones were often mischievous, sometimes malicious, though often alien. I'd judge that this one offered you no harm.)"  
  
"True," Featherbrite replied, noting again that this small and old-appearing figure was quite capable of seeing her. "I am called Featherbrite, a wind-faerie of the Cor Mai Tal tribe, honored one."   
  
"(Honored one, eh?)" Cologne hopped over to where she could get a better look at the tiny figure. It was not often that she ran across one smaller and more ancient than herself. She rather enjoyed this. "(Translation effect, eh? That's handy. Mind telling me what's going on, little one?)"  
  
"(Okay, Great Grandmama. It's...)" Shampoo's voice trailed off as Cologne shot her the dreaded Grandmother Look, a special attack known to freeze children in their place. It did so.  
  
Featherbrite began to tell her tale, that of her friend Ranma returning to be told by his father that the Amazon had gone back to her village, but that both Ranma and Featherbrite had felt that the panda wasn't telling the whole story.  
  
"(Shampoo, didn't you tell the boy why you had come after him?)" On seeing Shampoo shake her head, Cologne gave an exasperated growl. "(Well, why not? I can't believe you found the boy intimidating!)"  
  
"(Great Grandmother, something did not feel right. It just...felt strange. Then the strangeness followed me!)"  
  
"(Little one, can you show yourself to my Great Granddaughter?)"  
  
"No, only some people can see me. Usually it is the pure of heart, or a child, or those who are mages." Featherbrite thought briefly. "It would be difficult to do this without either using a spell or an infusion of faerie magic. Possible, but it would require time and some work."  
  
Cologne sighed and found a rock to sit on. "(Well, Featherbrite, you said? Let me tell you what is going on with that friend of yours and my Great-Granddaughter here.)"  
  
Shampoo moved carefully, watching Cologne's eyes as she addressed... nothing. Shampoo continued to stare and noticed that there was a point about three feet in front of her Great-Grandmother where her own eyes refused to focus. There was a ripple in the air, almost a heat shimmer. Shampoo continued to stare, trying to make out this "Old One" through sheer will. Instead it just seemed to be giving her a headache.  
  
"(So when Shampoo was defeated, she gave the boy the Kiss Of Marriage.)"  
  
"Marriage?" Featherbrite thought about it. There were so MANY confusing human customs. She'd run into this before, though. There was that Sultan Whatshisname, and he'd had thirty wives. How many centuries ago had that been? But had that changed? Ukyo didn't appear to be that comfortable with the idea of marriage - every time she dreamed of it she immediately went to the mating section. "That means an arrangement between exclusive mates, doesn't it? I'm not sure I approve."  
  
"(Don't tell me, you think he should wait till he's older?)" Cologne chuckled. It wasn't unheard of for a marriage to take place between fourteen year olds in non-industrial societies like the Joketsuzoku.  
  
Featherbrite absently waved that point off. "Hmmm? No, no, he's an adolescent. Old enough. I just don't understand exclusive mates. Favored mate, THAT I could see."  
  
"(First mate? Most favored mate?)" Cologne knew from the bits and pieces of stories that faerie viewed things much differently from humans. How could she explain marriage to someone who likely didn't even understand the human need for ceremony?  
  
"DEAL!" Featherbrite exclaimed, bobbing in the air happily. She'd gotten a good deal for Ranma, and maybe this girl would help take away some of his father's influence!  
  
Cologne's face went blank momentarily, then she groaned. Maybe the son-in-law would be able to explain this.  
  
-------Japan-------  
  
Akane had been waiting for the knock on her door. "Come in, Nabiki."  
  
Nabiki closed the door behind her, pausing for a moment to regard her sister.  
  
Akane answered the unasked question. "I don't trust him."  
  
"Why not?" Nabiki leaned against the closed door and continued to study Akane.  
  
"He's a boy. I know boys, look at how many of 'em I've got after me. They're all jerks and perverts." Akane made a dismissing gesture to indicate what she thought of the boys at school. There was also something else, something not quite right about him that her trained martial artist senses kept interpreting as danger. "Look at all the idiots that attack me every morning!"  
  
"So. He's not from around here. Admittedly we've just met him, but he doesn't *seem* that bad."  
  
"Which means he's hiding something." Akane nodded her head. "I'll tolerate him for your sake, sis. One wrong move though, and..."  
  
Nabiki watched her sister and determined several things from years of associating with Akane. One of which cut back in her own plans to rub Akane's face in the fact that Nabiki had a fairly handsome guy. Akane was telling the truth in one respect: there was more to this Ranma than could be easily summed up in a single sentence. There was a vibrancy about the young man that the male population of Furinkan was missing. And that this guy had chosen Nabiki over Akane had rattled little sister's cage.  
  
"Gee, Akane, I would've thought you'd be happy about your big sister getting a boyfriend." Nabiki shook her head and tried to look amused.   
  
"I'm just hoping you don't get hurt, Nabiki. He's too good to be true in some ways, too weird to be acceptable in others. And this whole arranged marriage thing stinks!"   
  
"Give him a chance, Akane. He isn't *that* bad." Nabiki wanted to convince herself as well. After all, the boy had chosen *her* instead of Akane. She wanted to believe that Ranma was more discerning than the average Furinkan youth, as opposed to there being something wrong with him.  
  
Akane shook her own head. "It isn't like you to let yourself get pulled along by some 'pretty boy' even if he's got some skills. SOMEBODY has to be suspicious and use their heads here. What if I'm right? Can we take the chance? He admits to using magic in order to fix that cup, what if he's influencing your mind or something?"  
  
Nabiki thought it likely that Akane had been watching too many horror flicks lately.  
  
==========  
  
That's it for chapter one of the remake of "Featherbrite's Tale" - it's mainly the same up to a point, then it will get very different fairly quickly.  
  
omake  
  
"Can't I get another try?"  
  
"Like a makeup test?" One of the cloaked and masked beings nearby asked her.  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Very well," said the mysterious being. "Join the others."  
  
"Others? This isn't going to involve turning into a blob of LCL, is it?"  
  
----------  
  
Misato Katsuragi checked her PDA.   
  
:Mission Briefing.  
:Test For Rival Relief Office Placement.  
:Better Father Than Genma Scenario.  
:1) Rescue Ranma Saotome From Pit Of Cats.  
:2) Raise Ranma To Be A Martial Artist As Best As Possible Using Cover Identity Provided.  
:3) Get Him A Few Engagements/Rivals/Opponents Along The Way.  
:4) Proceed To Nerima Japan - Tendo Dojo After 16th Birthday.  
:5) Further Details To Follow.  
  
Misato checked her folder. She was currently Captain Misato Katsuragi, JSSDF. Currently working with a bunch of deranged otaku over at Misawa AFB. Her eyes scanned the papers briefly, nodding at several points, and putting the appropriate cards into her purse to replace her NERV issued identification.   
  
If she returned to her home timeline, she'd be dead within a tick of the clock. In which case her paperwork was not needed any more.  
  
"Misato Katsuragi doesn't like to lose," she muttered into the cold misty morning air. "Now where do I find..."  
  
"NOOOO! PAPA! I'll be good! Don't throw me in there again!"  
  
Misato smiled lightly, checked her gun. "It's showtime, boys and girls!"  
  
--------  
  
Misato smiled down at her adopted child. It had been a strange request, but then it had been a strange trial.  
  
After getting the boy from his father and placing that father under citizen's arrest, a number of crimes had been found to press charges against Genma Saotome. Nothing really major except the assault charges against a police officer who had attempted to stop him and two other panty thieves a few years ago. Still, the jury had been readily convinced that even if Misato Katsuragi was a "boozing violent ne'er do well" - she had attained the rank of Captain in the JSSDF and had a fair list of accomplishments. She was also being considered for several positions within the Law Enforcement community for when she got out of the JSSDF. While her personal life was a shambles that the Saotome attorney took great pleasure in ripping apart, it had been *nothing* compared to what the prosecutors had found on Genma Saotome.  
  
Little Ranma had gotten disillusioned with his father during the whole thing. Besides, those Marines over there were pretty darn good fighters and knew some new moves.  
  
"There's good fighters there?" Six year old Ranma asked his new guardian.  
  
"Germany has a long and involved martial history," agreed Misato. "I'll be training with some of their pilots while I'm there, but we'll see if I can get you in with the 'head dojo' at the base."  
  
Ranma grinned. He knew his father had just sold him off again. No doubt his Pop would be sneaking him off any time now. In the meantime this Misato gal was kinda nice and the food was pretty darn good and he was learnin' all sorts a stuff! Though he was kind of put off by some of the things those men had been saying about his father. Stealing food and supplies, runnin' over people, making promises and then running out - these were bad things?! Ranma had pointed out to everyone in the courtroom that these couldn't be bad things, Papa did them all the time!  
  
"Let's see," Misato said, reaching down and trying to pull out her PDA. Then checking her purse. Then checking her luggage. She was beginning to panic about the time she remembered just setting it down at the dock and...  
  
At the bottom of Tokyo Bay, a PDA quietly shut itself down.   
  
--------  
  
"How dare you ignore Asuka Langley Soryuu, the Red Rose of Götterdämmerung Grundschule (Goetterdaemmerung Elementary School)?!"  
  
"Uhm, fairly easily," pointed out Ranma, then went back to ignoring the crazy chick. He had food to take care of, a much more important task.  
  
"In the name of my martial arts," Asuka said as she leapt to the top of the cafeteria table, "such impudence cannot be forgiven!"  
  
Ranma finished scarfing the "mystery meat loaf" and deliberately spat a pimento out at the redhead. It bounced off her forehead.  
  
"You... you... Arschloch!" Asuka was not amused. "Soryuu School Of Martial Arts Special Attack! Lunch Tray Slam!"  
  
Ranma flicked some jello out, then moved aside when Asuka slid off the table and planted her face on the bench. Sighing deeply, he took the unconscious girl to the nurse. "Third time this week. You'd think she'd learn."  
  
Asuka mumbled something indistinct. If Ranma had heard that the only way to keep his attention had been to fight him, he would have been appropriately worried.  
  
---------  
  
Misato hadn't been *too* surprised to find Asuka here, she'd known that Asuka hadn't wanted to return to their original timeline either.   
  
Arranging an engagement between Asuka and Ranma had been fairly easy. Especially considering who Asuka's guardian was. Though the thought of Ryoji Kaji as a grizzled middle-aged Interpol detective was certainly quite... Actually it did kind of fit, didn't it?  
  
A few years at various military bases, taking Ranma along while doing some odd jobs. She was a security expert and tightening up security at some installations was just entirely too natural. Ranma got some training, sometimes from the local sensei like that Dhalsim guy in India, sometimes a local brawler like Colonel Guile (who Misato could admit had some smooth moves - not entirely confined to during a fight), and sometimes the underground fight scene like with that Blanca fellow. Oh and then there had been Chun Li. Couldn't hold her beer but someone Misato could respect despite the silly hairstyle. Who had dropped hints about two Chinese locations not on the map.  
  
The visit to Jusenkyo had not gone nearly so well. Who knows what would have happened if they had actually made use of that training ground!  
  
The letters back and forth to the other location of which Chun Li had hinted and which a call to a few contacts had nailed down - at least looked promising so far.  
  
"Hello, are you Cologne?" Misato bowed. "I'm Major Katsuragi. Can we get out of this sun before we talk? It's been a long trip."   
  
The old woman nodded. "So glad you were able to make it dearie. So this is the young man you're trying to get additional training for?"  
  
"Yup. Ranma Katsuragi. He's spent years studying martial arts under some of the best military instructors in the world," Misato said proudly. "He can take apart a machine gun and put it back together blindfolded, pilot almost any military vehicle (he specializes in mid-air combat), and has studied under some pretty impressive martial arts sensei."  
  
"So you heard about us and wanted to see what we can teach him, in return for which you will get us that equipment you mentioned in your letter." Cologne nodded. The Nichieju were self-sufficient. That didn't mean they didn't *want* some modern equipment and supplies.  
  
"Already arranged," assured Misato. "One of the things you do over the years in my line of work is make some contacts. As long as its basic stuff like food, medicine, farming equipment, and the like - none of my contacts has any problem smuggling stuff into Chinese airspace."  
  
"Oh dear," said Cologne. "He just defeated Vanilla. She just gave him the Kiss Of Marriage."  
  
"The what?" Misato turned around. "REI?!"  
  
"Hmmm, that's the most emotional response I've seen out of her. Interesting," said Cologne.  
  
-------  
  
A portly middle-aged man yanked another arrow out of his butt. Even he could admit this wasn't working. Try to enter one of those military bases and you had all sorts of people after you. Which wouldn't be too unusual except that these particular groups had all sorts of firearms and IR scopes and other unfair measures.   
  
Try to enter that one village and some guy apparently made of rubber would start breathing fire on him.   
  
Try to enter this village and there were a lot of women who apparently not only had some martial arts training, but regarded him as an intruder.   
  
Sooner or later, though, the betrayer and the thief would be defenseless and he could strike!  
  
-------  
  
Some of this was beginning to amuse Misato. So far she was the only one who apparently remembered *anything* of the Eva units or NERV or any of that. Except a shadow had briefly passed over Asuka's face when she'd mentioned taking Ranma back to Tokyo, and that she had some piloting to do.  
  
Still, she'd ended up getting out of the military and would be going into policework soon. The teaching gig was just temporary.  
  
Getting a teaching degree had been fairly simple, the paperwork had been in place for quite awhile and she'd had to brush up on a lot of this to tutor Ranma anyway.   
  
That wasn't the amusing thing though.  
  
Asuka as a German prima donna kempo champ? Ok.  
  
Rei Ayanami as Vanilla - a Chinese Amazon? Strange.  
  
Maya Ibuki, a young teacher at Furinkan Senior High School? Really odd.  
  
Ritsuko Akagi, the slightly sadistic school nurse? Odd, but somehow appropriate.  
  
Kouzou Fuyutsuki, acting vice principal? Ok, she supposed. As long as Gendo didn't show up.  
  
Slightly more amusing was that Maya's boyfriend and fellow teacher was Makoto Hyuuga. Looked like he reciprocated those feelings. Misato actually felt pretty good about that, feeling Makoto deserved better than to get hung up on her again when she didn't return those feelings herself.  
  
Kensuke Aida, military otaku and sophomore? Fit pretty darn well actually.  
  
Touji Suzuhara, tough guy who practically melted into sentimental slag around his girlfriend - Hikari - who perhaps fortunately went to some school for girls and not this one.  
  
Shigeru Aoba was a music teacher, and looked a damn sight happier than he had been as Comm Officer at NERV.  
  
Then there was the local weirdoes. If they'd been in her previous world, Misato didn't recognize them.  
  
"Fair educator, I wouldst date with thee!"  
  
*THWAM!*   
  
"Stop hittin' on my Mom, you jerk!"  
  
Misato was pretty sure kendo-boy there must be related to Kaji.   
  
Why was that one girl so angry that Ranma had stopped those morning fights? It was only their second day here and already Ranma seemed to have picked up as many rivals/enemies as he had in two years in Germany or that year he'd spent in the Amazon village.  
  
Misato made her way to the principal's office and then to her classroom. Perhaps it was a bit odd that her "son" was one of her students, but this whole school took odd to an artform.  
  
She checked her notes and froze. No way. Well, on second thought, maybe she should have expected this. "We have two new students. Both transfers. Heh heh." Misato sent a glance towards Ranma's desk.  
  
Ranma swallowed and made a couple of battlespeak hand gestures. A handy thing practiced by Black Beret Special Forces.  
  
Misato replied back in the same mode. No, he was not getting out of this that easy. Just try to keep the property damage and disruption to the classroom minimal.  
  
Not for the first time, Misato wondered what it would have been like if she could have substituted Shinji with Ranma. Other than when the chips were down and people's lives were on the line, Ranma wouldn't have folded like that.  
  
A rap on the door. "Come in." Misato nodded. "Introduce yourselves."  
  
"I'm Asuka Langley Soryuu, charmed I'm sure!" The redhead winked at the class.  
  
"Vanilla," said the albino. "Though Katsuragi-san has given me the name Rei Ayanami on several occasions."  
  
"Not on purpose," mumbled Misato.  
  
Asuka sauntered over to Ranma's desk. "Well, liebchen? Nothing to say to your fiancee?"  
  
"F-f-f-fiancee?!" Ranma was a little surprised.  
  
"His is my airen," said Rei cooly, her look suggesting she was measuring Asuka for a coffin.  
  
"NO! Ranma must marry a Tendo!" The door exploded as an overweight martial artist burst through it.  
  
"WHAT?!" The violent girl in a seat near Ranma exclaimed. "Where did that come from?!"  
  
"It's quite correct," said a middle-aged man with a moustache and long hair. "Ranma Saotome *must* marry a Tendo."  
  
"But my name is now legally Ranma Katsuragi," pointed out Ranma.  
  
"Don't bother us with the facts," exclaimed Genma and Soun together.  
  
"Excuse me," said Asuka.  
  
"Excuse please," said Rei.  
  
*WHAM!* *WHAM!* Rei and Asuka nodded after knocking the two out the door.  
  
"HEY! You can't hit my father like that!" Akane got up, protesting.  
  
*WHAM!* *WHAM!*  
  
Ranma took a deep breath. He'd barely gotten the window open in time before the two had knocked that violent tomboy out it. That could've been messy.  
  
"Now," began Asuka, turning towards the paler girl.  
  
*Clik-clak!*  
  
"Now you're both going to sit down, shut up, and I'm going to start class, right?"  
  
"Nice gun," commented Asuka from her new chair, which that one girl had obligingly given up to her.  
  
"Very pretty is," said Rei in an attempt to be polite.   
  
"Most ominous," said Mio, regretting her Tarot card forecast to stay home today had been ignored.  
  
"I'm so glad you're all reasonable," said Misato.  
  
-------  
  
"Chinese Vulcan-wannabe," griped Asuka a month later as she left school.  
  
Rei merely raised an eyebrow. Then idly kicked Hikaru Gosunkugi in the head before he could try pounding a stake into her heart.  
  
Ranma sighed. Why was his life so complicated?  
  
Tatewaki Kuno stared from nearby. The redheaded valkyrie, so passionate and fiery! The pale and ghostly girl, so vulnerable and yet so strong. Akane Tendo, so pure and tidy. The beauteous educator, so earthy and alluring. Gotta catch 'em all!  
  
Hikaru Gosunkugi, convinced that girl was a vampire, wondered why the garlic and crosses weren't working.  
  
Akane stalked forward. How dare those two keep beating her into the ground!  
  
"Most ominous," repeated Mio, ducking as Akane flew past her head.  
  
"Honey, you ain't seen ominous," Misato declared, "I've seen ominous. This is just amusing."  
  
==============  
  
Thanks to Helmut Steeg for correcting my German! ^_^ 


	2. Chapter 2

FEATHERBRITE'S TALE  
Chapter 2: Annoying New Challenge (ANC again)  
or... "Wings Over Nerima"  
  
Situation, spin, char interp by Gregg Sharp  
Based on original char by other people, primarily Rumiko Takahashi for the "Ranma 1/2" cast.  
  
"This is such a strange school. Do they even make students study?" -Ryoko Mitsurugi  
  
"The meaning of life? That's simple, boy. Life is what happens while we are making other plans." - O.W. Kenobi  
  
"Nerima District in Tokyo Japan is one of several world-wide 'hot-spots' of Chaos. Possibly because it is reclaimed swampland and swamps are typically associated with Chaos. There are worse places for weird happenings, but most of those are tucked in out of the way places like in the Blue Ridge Mountains, Great Dismal Swamp, or out over water like the Bermuda Triangle. Nerima is disputedly even worse than New York." - Venkmann's Guide To The Supernatural.  
  
-------  
  
"School?" Ranma shuddered. His father had gotten fairly nasty earlier about time spent away from martial arts training, so now being all but shoved out the door to go to school just seemed to be more of his father's doublespeak at work. There were also the schools his father had chosen for him in the past - reform schools and the like where fits of extreme violence were more the rule than the exception.  
  
"You're going to the same school as Akane and me, I'll meet you there." The shock had worn off, and now Nabiki was feeling serious doubts. Ranma's splash in the pond this morning had convinced her that the last evening was NOT a dream.  
  
Yesterday morning, magic had been the stuff of empty headed people's fantasies, a convenient mechanism in manga, foolish dreams born of the desire that life not be the dog-eat-dog world that Nabiki knew it was. Yesterday morning, and every morning before that, Nabiki had well known that there was no magic, no miracles, nothing beyond the rational world.  
  
Today magic was looking rather sullenly at her as she prepared to leave him behind and go meet with her factors.  
  
Nabiki walked quickly from the house, putting distance between her and the impossible. She'd seen it, but it couldn't be. It could NOT be. Changing forms, he violated conservation of mass without even considering where the energy for the process came from! Flying in that faerie form had no regard for such factors as gravity or inertia. Making that cup come together as if it had never been broken?  
  
It was all impossible. It couldn't be done. She'd seen it last night, and then saw almost everything again the very next morning. Nabiki shook slightly as she ran, not even realizing that she was running away in more than meaning of the term.  
  
------  
  
Ranma watched sadly, seeing the fear and confusion swirling around his erstwhile iinazuke. He'd mishandled the situation, gone too fast, he now realized. With his father and Nabiki's father pushing for a fast engagement and marriage, they'd likely push any chance for that eventuality out the door.  
  
Ranma sighed and gathered his things, putting his flute within the case that Kasumi had handed him. Thanking her for the kindness, he waited for Akane to show him the way to school.  
  
Though maybe it would be better if he could just avoid the whole thing altogether. Hey, maybe he could just follow Nabiki at a distance. It would give him a better chance to see exactly what kind of reform school his father had chosen this time.  
  
------China----  
  
"(I really wish I could see you,)" Shampoo noted to her invisible companion. "(Great Grandmother told me that I should open my mind, try to see with my mind or my heart and not my eyes. Now if she had just told me HOW I'm supposed to do this.)"  
  
Featherbrite sat on the Amazon's head and smiled. Without knowing why, Shampoo had gone into a long-distance loping run that she could maintain for hours at a time. Also without it really registering on the warrior's mind, she had taken each branch and turn that would eventually lead her to Ranma.  
  
There was communication, and then there was communication. Since the Amazon could neither see nor hear her companion, the companion was using other methods to get to know the Amazon and lead her to Ranma. A few passes of enchantment, and subtle nudges got the bouncy young girl into a thoughtful and talkative mood.  
  
Featherbrite listened to the girl's story during the periods where Shampoo was walking, and found that the barbarian princess was not as simple as she appeared. The faerie continued to "tweak" a few things, and Shampoo found herself relating major events in her life to the invisible companion. All the while, Featherbrite tried to remove the amazon's uneasiness towards her- the result of faerie not precisely being of the world that Shampoo's senses were so   
highly tuned to. Shampoo was not as prone to anger as others were, though fear and anger were the most frequent responses to the faerie presence. With Shampoo, nervousness if not actual fear seemed to be the result.   
  
Years of being around humans had taught Featherbrite how to damp the effect, and usually this just manifested as a sense of something out of place.  
  
Shampoo found herself in a circle of toadstools after six hours of her pace, yawning and wondering why this felt like such a good place to take a nap.  
  
--------Japan-------  
  
Nabiki sulked as Ranma arrived less than three minutes after she had.  
  
His reaction to the largely untrained masses had been to give them a wide berth.  
  
Ah, here came Akane. Wonderful. Large crowd attacking her - check. Akane beating them left and right. Check. Kuno showing up after Akane's "warm up" - check. Kuno not even using half his usual skill, much less any special manuevers - check. Akane pummelling Kuno - check.  
  
Honestly, it was a measure of the moron. First issuing that challenge, then not fighting to the best of his ability?  
  
The school bell rang. Akane started running. Nabiki merely shook her head as she left her window seat to go to her desk. Normally she might ask the teacher for permission to take Kuno to the nurse - as he was still unconscious and within sight from the window. Today she just had too much to think about to bother with morons.  
  
Ah, here came Kuno. Acting as if nothing were out of the ordinary.  
  
Well as far as anyone knew, nothing *was* out of the ordinary and Nabiki wasn't ready to break the news of her engagement. Not until she was sure what she thought of it herself.  
  
-------  
  
Ranma had observed the parade of idiots and wondered what was going on. From the occasional comment, he'd gathered it was something to do with Akane. Well, as the fisherfolk would say "whatever floated her boat."  
  
He'd heard of girls who liked things rough. He still wasn't sure what that *meant* but he'd heard it back when he was in middle school.  
  
Instead he had spent time with the principal, then shown the classroom.  
  
Typical set-up. For a Japanese class, that is. Schooling had been a little haphazard and on that one Marine base they'd handled things a lot differently. The teacher would write the newbie's name on the board, the newbie introduces himself, followed by a generic sort of comment like "let's do our best" or "pleased to meet you" or "I hope we can all be friends" or some usually empty phrase like that.  
  
"Mister Saotome here just came from China, so let's give him a big 'ni hao' welcome," said the teacher, sounding as bored as was humanly possible with this set of rituals.  
  
Ranma quickly found his way to the appropriate seat, checked his books, and wondered if this class was going to be as mind-bogglingly boring as it looked to be.  
  
The door slid open and Akane dashed in.  
  
"Akane Tendo. Late. Buckets. Hall." Same bored monotone.  
  
Ranma let out a deep breath and tried to focus on the class. Unfortunately it seemed to be just as boring as he'd feared and dealing with English. Which was fine, in and of itself, it was just that this particular one seemed based on one of those '70s textbooks where non-English speakers were being hired as English "experts" (they were gaijin after all) by the school system. If you'd actually spent time with English speakers, getting immersed in the language, you learned how much of this stuff was actually pure garbage.  
  
Because it was what was taught, you had to learn it well enough to score well on the tests. Then you had to forget this stuff because it *was* useless garbage. Heck if you used some of these phrases in casual conversation - you could find yourself dealing with a squad of Marines wanting to kick your behind. And while Ranma had confidence in his martial arts skills, he had learned a long time ago several valuable lessons. Among them were:  
1) In Scotland, guys who wore dresses were not wimps or girly men. Not all of them anyway.  
2) In Saudi Arabia, *always* keep an eye on your backpack. Scorpions were not the only thing that could get in there.  
3) An expert martial artist can beat one Marine if everything else is equal. The problem is that the typical US Marine is neither alone nor interested in keeping everything else equal.  
4) Never ever EVER push the red button. Bad juju.  
  
Actually Ranma had been accumulating rules like that for some time. One of his favorites nowadays was "Do not go to the faerie for answer, because they won't give you a straight answer anyway." Featherbrite didn't appreciate that one. Didn't dispute it, but didn't appreciate it either.  
  
"Ah, Akane Tendo! You are here for me!"  
  
"Shut up and go away, Kuno! You're responsible for me being out here!"  
  
"My love!"  
  
"Let. Go. Of. Me."  
  
"Alas, I must not tarry here, for thy mercenary wench of a sister did tell me of the villainous Saotome!"  
  
Everyone in class looked towards Ranma. Ranma yawned.  
  
"It's not true! He's just staying there while he's engaged to Nabiki!"  
  
Everyone, including the teacher, stared at Ranma. Ranma rolled his eyes.  
  
"How dare the scoundrel stay under the same roof as the pure and tidy Akane Tendo! I shall smite him high! I shall strike him low! I shall... Nabiki Tendo you say?"  
  
"Yes! Our fathers decided, it was-"  
  
Kuno interrupted. "Nabiki Tendo, the very soulless mercenary wannabe Yakuza who shares your last name but neither your pure beauty nor charm?"  
  
"Yes," agreed Akane's voice. "According to our fathers-"  
  
Kuno interrupted again. "So. I see. Sorrows, Akane, for I see that I must think upon this further. Mayhap I have sympathy for the poor wretch and shall forego this battle. For if he doth find himself engaged to Nabiki Tendo, he hath enough problems."  
  
"Engaged to Nabiki Tendo?" One of the students in Ranma's class held a hand over his heart. "Man, my condolences to your life savings."  
  
"Man, she's so frigid you're gonna freeze yer #%!@$ off," said another.  
  
"Hiroshi, you are *such* a putz," said a young lady, rapping this last boy over the head.  
  
Ranma wondered why so many people were eyeing him with such sympathy. Even the teacher?!  
  
---------  
  
Tatewaki Kuno went back to his position outside his own classroom. Verily for he didst need ponder these events.  
  
Nabiki Tendo had been asked of the somewhat disreputable fellow who had shown up at the school gates that very morning, wearing such pedestrian garb. She had replied upon receiving from her petitioner the requisite monies that said boorish commoner was in fact their house guest, and was there upon the matter of an arranged marriage.  
  
Naturally the Blue Thunder had realized that if a man did have any taste whatsoever - the choices were but two. For in his first year attending this institution, a senior of surpassing beauty and grace had been the one known as Kasumi Tendo. Alas for the culture that did state twas unseemly for a younger man and an older woman, though it was also true there was no fire within the woman to spark his own passions. That left the young tigress, the glory that was Akane Tendo. How could any man call himself a man and yet not desire her?  
  
For any man to choose Nabiki Tendo was unthinkable. Therefore this Ranma Saotome had not been given a choice.   
  
Indeed. Nabiki Tendo was somewhat fair to look upon, yet like the poisonous serpent - it was not long in seeing that she had no qualities that would not be used solely to harm anyone she attached herself to.  
  
For Nabiki Tendo's reputation was well known. Honeyed words might slip from her lips, yet always were her thoughts on matters of making a quick buck. She would sell anything, given the right price, would she not?  
  
But no. It was rumored that she regularly forayed into normal human activities for one of her gender. Could she be legitimate in this? Could the icequeen mercenary witch of Furinkan be evincing these normal human emotions? Could even such a vile moneyphile show a kind face to her fiance?  
  
Kuno could hardly credit it. Which meant...  
  
His bokken came out. Which meant that the mercenary had engaged herself to this Saotome, so that he would eventually tire of her vile ways and be drawn to the sweet honey of her sister Akane - and no doubt wouldst have to pay to have the engagement switched! Of course! How could he not have seen it afore?  
  
He would have to smite this fellow now before the engagement could be switched!  
  
-----------  
  
Faerie:  
  
Faerie tended to look and act differently from breed to breed, but mainly were aligned in one of two groups. Sidhe or UnSidhe.  
  
Featherbrite, for example, was a pixie of the Cor Mai Tal tribe. Her type of pixies had dragonfly wings and were usually shades of pale yellow in color. Most did not wear much in the way of garments. Cor Mai Tal were wind pixies, and in the hierarchy of the Sidhe were among the more stable - their area of influence were primarily small breezes and whirlwinds. They looked mainly like humans that had been stretched very thin, and ranged from six inches to eighteen inches in height. For a Cor Mai Tal pixie, life was mainly dancing along straight lines, bringing light breezes and occasionally acting to herald a storm sprite or other weather change. Pixies, as a rule, were not considered terribly powerful. Sneaky, mischievous, tricky, and very good at hiding - but not powerful.  
  
Elves were typically of the Sidhe as well. Or at least most of them.  
  
Golderon was not like most elves. He was a prince, related to Oberon himself, and he was as bad as an elf can get - which is pretty bad indeed.  
  
Looking mainly human, though thin and short, he was marked by thousands of years of casual cruelty. It being the nature of faerie to wear their nature outwardly, some concealed their badness through glamourie. Golderon didn't bother for he was openly of the UnSidhe and banned from the Faerie Court.  
  
There was no love lost between Golderon and Oberon. Oberon well knew that Golderon was continually working to increase his power and eventually challenge the current rule. Golderon knew that Oberon was openly of the Sidhe and secretly of the UnSidhe.  
  
Golderon frowned at his subordinates. "The mortal. Where is he?"  
  
"Back in the mortal plane, milord. As soon as the forces were gathered, they struck at his signal and the witch and her minions were struck down." The bog imp made no attempt to look up at his lord. You could get squished for such things.  
  
"He has set my plans behind. I will not tolerate this." Golderon looked at the slithering and slimy hordes around him. They cringed at his gaze. "He is merely a changeling. A mortal. I want him dealt with. Is this clear?"  
  
"What of the pixie? Bri'te has some friends among the Sidhe," pointed out a tentacle-faced humanoid.  
  
"Eat her." Golderon considered briefly. "Literally if you can manage it."  
  
---------  
  
Featherbrite looked over the sleeping Amazon that she had brought here and decided how best to do this. She wanted to get this woman warrior to Ranma as soon as possible, but the ships making the journey were all steel and iron (shudder) and Shampoo couldn't swim that sort of distance. Shampoo's experience with swimming so far had been restricted to mountain streams.  
  
Featherbrite had gotten to know the Amazon over the past few hours, and as this was the first girl who had ever shown any interest in Ranma, Featherbrite wanted this to go right. This was a major step in separating Ranma (her friend) from his father (nasty stupid brute) and in Ranma's maturity. She'd read a book on the subject once. While it hadn't made a whole lot of sense to the faerie, the bits about dating and sex had struck her as being fascinating.  
  
No doubt the transformation from boy to man was something mystical triggered by such behavior.   
  
Featherbrite grabbed a few nuts and berries that would have fascinated a botanist, then fed the sleeping amazon. An application of Will and thousands of years of experience were enough, otherwise Shampoo would never have been able to leave the Faerie Realm.  
  
Featherbrite continued to concentrate as Shampoo shuddered in her sleep and began to shrink. Her clothes, of course, remained the same size. Featherbrite murmurred a few soothing words into the girl's ear. A battle of wills now would have been disastrous, but this was the fastest method the faerie could think of getting Shampoo to where Ranma was.  
  
Besides, Featherbrite had plans involving the Amazon. She had promised Ranma not to make further alterations in HIM without prior consent. Meddling was just one of those things a faerie had to do. It was basic nature. Unlike the Unseelie Court, a bog fairy or the like, Featherbrite wasn't cruel in nature. Making a little adjustment here or there so that the Amazon would have fun, enjoy life, and not take things quite so seriously... why that was in her best interest after all!  
  
The faerie looked over the transformed Amazon, nodding. It wasn't perfect, but it was only supposed to last until the next sunset anyway.  
  
At least that part of the _physical_ transformation was.  
  
Featherbrite considered the purple haired girl briefly.  
  
"Bri'te! Oh what have we got here?!" Holly the hamadryad faded into view from a nearby tree. "Work in progress?"  
  
"Work in progress," agreed Featherbrite.  
  
Holly considered. "Fixing her up with that changeling of yours?"  
  
"Possibly," agreed Featherbrite.  
  
Holly got a naughty expression on her face, something that a lot of faerie did anyway. "Hmmm. Let's see what we can do here and there then."  
  
"She's a warrior of her people," explained Featherbrite. "Not much in the way of magical defenses."  
  
"Well, if she's some kind of warrior, we don't want to mess that up," agreed Holly.  
  
"I've read some of their literature," said Featherbrite. "Ranma would be considered a Bard and this girl would be considered a Warrior. There are these stories about adventurers like we used to have around the place, but nowadays they have these specific roles that they fulfill. Bards know magic and music and fighting and lore - which was pretty much how Ranma was turning out before I read the stuff. Warriors mainly know how to fight. Then there's these 'Ranger' things. She might make a good 'Ranger' - she's some kind of tribal princess as I understand."  
  
Holly considered the peculiar emphasis on the words. "Oooo. A princess, you say? Haven't had one of those around in *quite* a long time. Need to contact the local Princess though. One of those royalty things."  
  
Featherbrite sighed. So much for getting this done quickly.  
  
--------  
  
Japan:  
  
"It's horrible, Tendo, just horrible," Genma blubbered into his beer.  
  
"There, there, Saotome. It isn't that bad."  
  
Kasumi sighed and made a note to put an extra layer of weatherproofing down on the wooden floors in the common room. Between Mister Saotome's drool, hair, and her own father's tears - she had to protect against the floor warping.  
  
"So he's a bit of a wimp," continued Soun, "you said yourself he'd learned some special manuevers that had been impressive."  
  
"Only on the face of them. They're all flash and no depth. Oh, the shame of it." Genma took a long pull of his beer, making a face because it seemed watered down.   
  
"What a shame." Soun admitted privately that perhaps if Ranma wasn't quite like his father, that might be just as well.  
  
"So true, Tendo, so true." Genma considered the possibility. "Well, perhaps your daughter might produce a worthy heir?"  
  
"My thought exactly, Saotome!" Tendo beamed at the thought of becoming a grandfather.  
  
"Do you still have it?" Genma asked slyly.  
  
Soun smirked. "Is there any doubt?"  
  
Kasumi's usual cheer didn't falter, she merely scheduled her grocery trip as soon as she saw the karaoke equipment being set up.  
  
--------  
  
Faerie:  
  
Shampoo twitched in her sleep. She was not only a champion of her people, she was a princess. A warrior princess. Yes. Funny she'd never thought of it that way before.   
  
Naturally as a warrior princess, she had to have poise and dignity. She had to have some sort of Gift to mark herself as royalty too. What kind of Gift should she have?  
  
Talking to animals? Well, that might be handy, but it wouldn't do to get too cozy with animals because then you'd likely have to give up eating meat. It would just seem wrong to have long conversations with your next meal.  
  
Turning into a swan? Hardly! She was a *warrior* princess wasn't she?  
  
Spinning straw into gold? No, that would probably cause problems. It certainly had the last time someone had gotten that particular talent.  
  
Poise? Gift of Tongues? Eyes Of The Cat?  
  
Shampoo remembered one of Bai Na's imported manga. Wasn't a princess supposed to be like *that*?  
  
The voices conferred. Well, why not?  
  
Shampoo smiled as she curled up in her sleep. This would be nice.  
  
----------  
  
China:  
  
Bai Na, the crazed mangaphile of the Nichieju, sneezed.  
  
Tigar, by far the worst nonconformist, looked up. "This means something."  
  
Tigar's sister, Sugar, nodded to her friend and constant companion Spice. "I think she's right."  
  
Spice smirked.  
  
Then the alarm, a gong from the front gate of the Amazon Village began clanging. Naturally, while some Amazons went to their posts, the vast majority headed directly to the alarm site.  
  
As they were Amazons, weapons were brought for all the lack of menaces to their village in recent years.  
  
When the Amazons began crowding there, the bulk of them looked out across the plain, then at Bai Na, then back.  
  
"Damn," said one Amazon. "I knew Bai Na had a good imagination, but for *me* to see it-"  
  
The beast had glistening purple skin, bright red eyes, and was shaped something like a crude stick figure. It was also sixteen feet tall. "Where is the Wild Stallion?!"  
  
Bai Na blinked and immediately interpreted this in terms of things she was familiar with. "You are a demon from a Dark Dimension, sent to kill that outsider boy that came here recently."  
  
Grink liked the sound of that. Demon, huh? He was just a minor UnSidhe but demon sounded important. Heh. Might as well play it up, it wasn't like anyone from Makai was around to dispute it. "YES! Give me the pigtailed warrior, and I shall not devour you all one by one - eating you all in a sauce made from your blood! Bwahahahaha!"  
  
There was a gasp from the assembled Amazons. Not because this thing was threatening them. Bai Na was right?!  
  
"He's lying," proclaimed Bai Na needlessly. "If we were to give up Ranma Saotome to this fiend, he would still kill us - for he is a minion of the Dark Kingdom and lies come easily to his kind."  
  
Grink wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. He blinked. "How did you know?"  
  
Bai Na smirked smugly and held up one of her precious manga compilations. "Because I have here the whole story of you and your kind! Your plans to enslave the entire world to your Dark Master!"  
  
Grink gaped. They knew of Oberon and Golderon?! "Then you will surrender that as well!"  
  
"Can I borrow that after the fight?" Tigar asked Bai Na, suddenly getting much more interested in this 'manga' stuff.  
  
Bai Na nodded, though she also lamented she wasn't wearing her precious "Magic Knight Rayearth" T-shirt. Let's see, what would "Sailor Moon" do on this kind of occasion? Oh yeah! "Foul beast who perverts the night!"  
  
"It's three in the afternoon," helpfully pointed out Tigar.  
  
"You seek to harm defenseless and innocent girls!" Bai Na continued.  
  
"Boy, has *he* got the wrong village," commented Spice.  
  
Grink rushed the wall, intent on stopping the annoying speech. Besides, he was protected. It would take cold iron, magic, or something similar to kill him!  
  
The air briefly turned dark with arrows, spears, throwing knives, and various other assorted martial arts weapons.  
  
Grink went down. "This not hurt Grink," he lied. Actually it hurt quite a bit. Some of those weapons had something similar to a magical charge. Still, as long as he wasn't dead he could eventually regenerate.  
  
Cologne used a chi blast to finish off the beast, then turned to one particular young Amazon. "Bai Na. I know that you have been repeatedly told that Amazons should not be reading foreign comic books. That you have been teased and made fun of. Would you consider loaning out your collection anyway? We seem to have wandered into one of those same stories."  
  
----------  
  
Japan:  
  
Ranma wondered about this school.  
  
When he'd attended school before, it had always fallen into the same pattern. Mainly because his father wanted his son to be constantly immersed in martial arts and the way of fighting - even in a regimented and mind-numbingly boring activity as the typical Japanese school.  
  
Hence that middle school where the cafeteria had broken out into lunchtime struggles for prepackaged bread. Even Ryouga wouldn't have tried fighting the crowds when they had pizza. (Mainly because by the time the fights were over - the pizza wouldn't have been recognizable.) A feeding frenzy involving sharks and wounded seals would not have been as savage.  
  
There had been other schools, other times, same sort of situation.  
  
Furinkan was similar in some respects.  
  
Violence was ready to erupt much of the time. Just the display this morning and the attitude of the teachers towards it was enough to clue Ranma in - mass violence was acceptable behavior here.  
  
The usual clubs didn't seem to have much of a presence. In Middle School, you were mainly preparing for High School Entrance Exams. Senior High wasn't required, though it was usually done unless you had a family business or the like, in which case the high school years were normally spent there. Senior High Schools were where Clubs took place. Extracurricular activities were a mainstay of Japanese High School life.  
  
There were signs for the "Chem Club" and there were the usual sports-related clubs and teams for Kendo and Sumo and the like. The Karate and Judo teams had old posters in the hallway, over a year old? There were Gymnastics teams for the girls and a Volleyball and Softball team, but not much else.  
  
In other words, a reform school or a school on the edge of it.  
  
Ranma wondered when he'd run into a school where you could actually learn something useful.  
  
Take, for example, this course. Japanese History. While some understanding of the basics was useful for seeing how some of it developed, practically all the accounts were heavily slanted by the original author's views. Very few of the authors originating these works were able to filter out their own feelings on a particular subject. He had it on good authority, for example, that Nobunaga Oda was as magically adept as a hunk of granite. A skilled mover and shaker with a certain charisma and forceful presence, particularly good at playing one faction off against another, but hardly Evil.  
  
Ranma just faked paying attention and decided to use this opportunity to check out a few things.  
  
Whoa. There was a ley line running through the front of the school and heading off to where the dojo of the Tendo house was. Some ley lines were Earth, some were Water or Air. This one seemed to combine Water and Earth, which meant this was a Chaos line - something that was neither one thing nor another and therefore tending to throw everything off around it.  
  
He knew enough to throw a shield-filter around it, otherwise the nonsense factor in his life would likely go through the roof.  
  
--------  
  
The bokken thrust was parried by an improvised bo staff. The business end of the mop slapped into her attacker's face a half instant later.  
  
"Give up, and learn happiness as a woman!"  
  
Ukyo wanted to retch. Instead she did the splits so the attack aimed at the back of her head slammed into her first opponent instead. Blunt end of the mop jabbed straight back and made a satisfyingly solid connection. Roll to the side, up, spin the mop in a quick defensive manuever, then backflip to land on top of the school's wall. "I don't think you've got anything to teach me, Tsubaka!"  
  
"That's Tsubasa! You're just confused, my love!"  
  
"Idiot! Get out of my way and let *me* date the fair Ukyo!"  
  
Ukyo smiled and leapt off the wall to land outside the school grounds. "Imagine what it'd be like if I weren't attending an 'All Girl's School', yeesh!"  
  
--------  
  
China:   
  
Cologne finished reading one book and was about to give up in disgust. "This is... juvenile. A utopian society? Talking magical cats? Using a rose as a throwing weapon? 'Punish you in high heels'?!"  
  
"Maybe if you used a chi field to charge the rose?" Lilac was always glad to needle Cologne. Their rivalry had existed for quite a few years and while the Elder of the Healers didn't dislike "that old fuddy-duddy" everyone knew they didn't exactly see eye to eye either.  
  
"You're missing the point," groaned Cologne, wishing that she could just drop the matter but with Lilac around that wasn't likely.  
  
"Look, everything in here can be explained as being written in a girl's comic," pointed out Lilac. "Things were added to appeal to young Japanese girls - and as this is a Chinese village we don't have the best clue as to which elements were just added to please her target audience."  
  
Bai Na had been waiting for just such an opportunity. "We should send an Amazon to see Naoko Takeuchi personally!"  
  
Cologne and the other elders turned their gazes towards the blonde girl. "Oh really? Why?"  
  
"Because that way we can get the information directly from her and we can protect a valuable contact when they send youma after her!" Bai Na proclaimed triumphantly, not mentioning at all the possibility of getting her manga collection autographed. Nope nope nope.  
  
Cologne appeared to be thoughtful. "Hmmm. Perhaps we should send Tigar. She's the best tracker."  
  
"She'd be excellent, if this trip were to end in Australia, England, or America," admitted Bai Na. "Her English - particularly when it involves their music, is much better. This is Japan however. Tigar doesn't speak Japanese."  
  
"Well I spmmmmm mmmfff?" Tigar attempted to talk but her sister had just clamped a hand over her mouth.  
  
"Maybe Mousse?" Cologne suggested.  
  
"You know how he gets around Shampoo. Remember that visiting delegation two years ago, where he thought one of the emissaries was making eyes at Shampoo?" Bai Na pointed out.  
  
Lots of winces. The emissary making eyes at Shampoo had actually been a horse. That particular trade treaty had never come to pass. Mass bloodshed had never actually broken out, but relations still weren't good.  
  
"Child," said Lilac kindly, "you're an apprentice healer. You're a fair swordswoman. But you're clumsy as a carp. You couldn't handle being a bodyguard."  
  
Cologne saw a way to get back at Lilac, remove some potential troublemakers from the village, and if there was actually anything to any of this "Future Utopian Kingdom" nonsense - indicate that they'd thrown valuable resources in to mark themselves as useful allies! "Oh, I think we can spare Bai Na. Just to be sure, let's send a few of our warriors *with* her."  
  
"What are you up to, Cologne?" Lilac wasn't sure about this. She had thought she was backing Cologne for once, or was Cologne just being contrary for its own sake?  
  
"Vanilla, Sugar, Spice, Tigar, Shammi, Dina," called out Cologne. "A little expedition seems in order."  
  
-----------  
  
Japan:  
  
Nabiki finished the school day with her ears burning and enduring looks sent towards her from all and sundry.  
  
The news was out.  
  
Her reputation was in the toilet.  
  
And she was the one responsible for it, by saying something within earshot of Tatewaki Kuno.  
  
Nabiki Tendo was engaged to the new student. Ranma Saotome, penniless wandering martial artist.  
  
"Hey, Nabiki, you gonna sell pictures of your fiance? He's *hot!*"  
  
Nabiki smiled. "No problem."  
  
With this additional bit of information, and now understanding some of the whispers around her, Nabiki carefully wiped smugness from her face.  
  
This was an entirely new spin, and Nabiki found that she liked it. She was seen as being in possession of a precious commodity - a fiance. When the curse became news, there would be some effort involved in chasing the spin again but that was a concern for later. Right now she could bask in something new to her life.  
  
Being envied.  
  
People had feared her. People had admired her. Guys had checked her out, then quickly found other things to look at when they realized it was her.  
  
This wasn't bad. It wouldn't last, but it wasn't bad.  
  
"Nabiki Tendo. I require information."  
  
For a brief moment, an honestly pained expression passed over Nabiki's face as she was again confronted by the Spouting Star. "Can it wait, Kuno-baby? I'm basking in my accomplishments."  
  
Kuno's expression didn't change. "Jest not with me, Nabiki Tendo. I require information about thy houseguest."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Nabiki said. "So what's the question? Need help with your trig homework?"  
  
"Such pedestrian concerns are beneath me," said Tatewaki, though beneath his samurai stoicism he was tempted. "Nay, as stated this concerns that scruffy vagabond who doth stay beneath the same roof as thyself. Is it true that he is engaged not to the fair and fierce Akane Tendo, but to thee?"  
  
Nabiki considered the market value of information that had apparently already been disseminated the length and breadth of the school. "Yes, Kuno. 1000yen for each additional question. Or are you going to buy a clue?"  
  
"Indeed," said Kuno. "Naeless, what I doth wish to know is simply that if the foul cur does somehow intend to woo the fair Akane whilst operating under cover of his engagement to yourself."  
  
Nabiki considered Ranma and Akane engaged. The little sister who hated guys and hated things that were perverted, engaged to a guy who turned into a faerie.  
  
Kuno frowned. "You needn't laugh like that, Nabiki Tendo. Twas a serious question."  
  
"No, Kuno. No. Heck, that was such a good laugh, that I'll knock 500 yen off the price." Nabiki chuckled. She'd have to mention this to Akane just to see her sister's reaction.  
  
"Thou art sure?" Kuno couldn't see how this could be. A man in the position of choosing one amongst the Tendo flock to be his bride, and passing over the fair flower of Akane? "How can he call himself a man and choose a grubby Yakuza reject moneychanger over the sublime beauty of Akane? This is strange."  
  
For a brief moment, Nabiki's expression would have daunted even a noble samurai. With a conscious effort she forced a pleasant expression onto her features. "Yes, I'm sure. 1500yen. You'd have to ask him but I'd say he might just not be the type who appreciates 'sublime'. 2500yen."  
  
Tatewaki paid the peasant as he considered this. Perhaps this Saotome was not right in the head? Some form of insanity where he could not appreciate the finer points of truly attractive women? Or perhaps Nabiki Tendo, in her moneygrubbing mercenary manner, had some undisclosed blackmail to manipulate the commoner? Either that or he was so sinisterly Machiavellian that he had fooled even Nabiki Tendo about his plotting to seduce the helpless Akane?  
  
Nabiki moved off herself. She had homework to do and not one trace of the good mood she'd managed to gather up five minutes ago.  
  
-----------  
  
In a book publishing office on the 14th floor of an office building, a young woman shivered.   
  
"Something wrong, Takeuchi-san?"   
  
"No, Mister P," the author said after a few moments. "It was just a feeling. An odd one to be sure. Perhaps after 'P-Q Angels' I'll take a trip up to that mountain spa."  
  
"That would be nice," agreed the editor. "I... That's odd. I just got that too. Like something very old and full of hate turned their gaze this way, looking for something."  
  
"That's it exactly," said the author. "Maybe something died in one of the air conditioning vents."  
  
"That's probably it," agreed the editor, "I'll call maintenence later."  
  
----------  
  
The star of the karate club, the kendo club, the samurai girl of her school, drew her spatula as the wind passed by her.  
  
Eyes sought each of the shadows briefly, then dismissed and flicked to the next in its turn. She didn't relax until the feeling had passed and she had checked each shadow.  
  
Nothing. Yet there had been *something* to that feeling of presence. Just the fact that her breath had formed a white cloud in typical March weather indicated that the temperature drop had not been a figment of imagination.  
  
Oh. Wait a minute.  
  
A throwing spatula sunk deep into a fire hydrant. The fact that the fire hydrant yelped and ran off was sufficient indication. "First Mariko now Tsu-baka. Why do I get all the weirdoes?"  
  
----------  
  
China:  
  
Cologne looked up and frowned as the wind passed. "Very bad. Very bad indeed."  
  
"Something stirs," Lilac said, passing her rival a cup of strong tea. "Are you sure those girls will be all right?"  
  
"They are Amazons," Cologne said. "I'm sure they can handle it."  
  
"Liar."  
  
"Takes one to know one."  
  
----------  
  
The wind swirled briefly around the remains of Grink, muttering briefly as it did.   
  
The remains faded away and the wind passed on, losing strength and definition quickly.  
  
"idiot," the wind proclaimed as it ended.  
  
  
===========  
  
end chapter 2.  
next chapter - 2nd day of Furinkan and secrets are revealed! 


	3. Chapter 3

Featherbrite's Tale, chapter 3  
  
"We have to take the path we have to take." H. Tokai  
  
"Where the hell am I now?!" R. Hibiki  
  
"I knew I shoulda taken a right turn at Albuquerque!" B.Bunny  
  
DISCLAIMER: Some of these characters (c) R.Takahashi. One by J.Chalker. Others by N.Takeuchi though this is not a crossover in anything approaching a traditional sense.   
  
i have replaced Sash with Bai Na due to problems using an "Usagi as an Amazon" without permission. Bai Na is a cousin of Shampoo, looking a little like her but blonde.  
  
Many char are being artworked, and some of these can be found at the Lost Library Of Florestica run by the talented Larry F and found at http://members.tripod.com/lwf58/index.htm  
  
------   
  
If one were to look upon the sea of Japan one might be able to find a mid-sized fishing vessel known as the Myoo Na Maru registered to Japan. A battered vessel that had seen better days, nothing particularly remarkable or interesting about it that a casual observer could find at first glance. Which merely proved that casual observation often proved wildly inaccurate.  
  
"Captain? Captain Fujii?"  
  
Captain Fujii put aside her recently acquired copy of "Love's Fiery Embrace" and grumbled that this had better be good. She'd been waiting for the Japanese version of the romance novel for months.  
  
"Radar contact. Something is coming up fast." The scruffy looking helmsman stuck his head in the doorway.  
  
Fujii nodded. The werecat was a solid crewmember, she should have known it was something serious to get him to interrupt her reading. "What is it? Coast guard? Lesbian pirate slavers? Chinese Military? Please, don't it let be the damn Flying Dutchman again. I swear they must have a Hibiki navigating." Though normally most of the "ghost" ships wouldn't show up on radar, their equipment had some upgrades and enhancements that would have puzzled electricians and intrigued parapsychologists.  
  
"Unknown, cap'n," the Hindustani grimaced at the thought of the ghost ship. They encountered it every so often. Too damn often by his standards. Of course, he considered adventure and excitement to be *bad* things and preferred things to remain simple. Unfortunately, he'd signed on to *this* ship for a five year contract. "Whatever it is, it's airborne and very small. Too slow to be a missle, though."  
  
"Okay, that lets out *most* of our usual problems," admitted Fujii. The captain thought about it, nothing was on deck to indicate what their vessel really was, and unless you were familiar with the bizarre history of the ship designated in several port authorities as "That Damn Ship" or the "HMS Weirdness Magnet" by others you might think it was a normal fishing vessel.  
  
"Well, let's see it." Fujii trailed after Neko-san, pausing only to nod at the male amazon at the controls. Talcum pulled a hidden switch and a few key preparations were made, just in case.  
  
There was a hum felt through the deck as certain devices folded back into housings along the sides of the vessel.  
  
Neko-san stared off to the West, trying to catch a glimpse of the object. His daylight vision was among the worst of the crew though, so he couldn't see them until they were almost alongside the vessel.  
  
The dot became a shape, though they were only a few hundred yards away before Fujii could make them out. "Faeries?!?"   
  
"Mark that," came the comment from Nathan as he slipped into place beside the Captain. "Looks like a wind faerie, and someone under an enchantment. That's probably her clothing they're carrying. Interesting... I didn't know there were any faerie left."  
  
Fujii didn't ask. One of the unwritten rules aboard the Myoo no Maru was "Don't Ask Nathan How He Knows Something." It was like asking him about astronomy or history. The consequences could be horrible. He could tell you.  
  
Nathan Brazil usually told his shipmates the truth. This was the horrible part.  
  
-------  
  
China:  
  
"We wait here for vessel," said Sugar, practicing her Japanese so that they wouldn't be completely lost when they got to their destination.  
  
"Time for a song?" Tigar whipped her guitar out of nowhere and looked hopeful.  
  
"No!" Vanilla, Sugar, Spice, Dina, Shammi, and Bai Na insisted.  
  
Tigar responded by going off to pout.  
  
Vanilla started sharpening her knives. Because your knives could never be too sharp in her opinion.  
  
"So what's with this ship anyway?" Dina asked. "We can't just swim across?"  
  
"Only an idiot would try to swim the Sea Of Japan," said Spice. "It's too far."  
  
"Bet I could do it," grumbled Dina.  
  
"Besides, there are lesbian pirate slavers," added Spice.  
  
Dina blinked. That was just crazy enough to be true. "OK. We wait for boat."  
  
Shammi looked up from where she was preparing tea. "How we know when ship show, is not pirate?"  
  
"Ship is old one make landfall. Three exile of Amazon on ship. We no attack or make trouble, our passage be much cheap," explained Sugar.   
  
"Exile of Amazon? What they do?" Spice asked, thinking of Sugar's little sister who seemed to spend most of her time in trouble with the Elders.  
  
"Not know, that not covered by talking from Elder," admitted Sugar.  
  
Dina scowled. "Must be bad. Much dishonor be exile. Not allow to kill?"  
  
"No, it is not allowed," said Bai Na, rubbing her hands gleefully. In a short time this ship would arrive and they would cross the sea to Japan. Japan, land of otaku! Where manga could be found paving the streets! Where anime merchandise was behind every corner! She could finally get a stuffed Totoro! It was all she could do not to give breath to a demented but triumphant laugh.  
  
Dina hoped they had decent restrooms over there. Indoor plumbing was so neat!   
  
Sugar and Spice compared notes about what stores they were going to hit, and in what order.  
  
Tigar tuned her guitar and wondered what kind of music they had over there. Maybe she could meet one of the singers whose works she fancied. Chuck Berry would be cool. Or maybe the Beatles. Or even (dare she hope?) Elvis?!  
  
Shammi finished making tea and started fixing the biscuits with some gravy left over from the previous night. It wasn't much, but as the foremost practitioner of Martial Arts Housekeeping, she could do a lot with very little! A thought made her pause. "Hey, you suppose any cute guy over there?"  
  
---------  
  
Japan:  
  
Tatewaki Kuno slammed open the door to the classroom. "Cretin! How dare you try to use your engagement to that wanton witch to deflower the pure and tidy Akane Tendo?"  
  
"Huh?" Ranma wasn't sure what the heck this was about. "Do who to what with which?"  
  
"Thy Machiavellian plot to steal away the exquisiteness that rightfully belongs to Tatewaki Kuno by means of foul subterfuge!"  
  
"Can you try that again in plain Japanese? Or English?" Ranma blinked innocently at the raging kendoist. "For that matter, couldn't it wait till after class?"  
  
"The vengeance that the heavens demand cannot be put off by mortal agencies!" Kuno snarled at the boy. "Thy wallowing in evil perversity must needs be ended with all due haste!"  
  
"Can someone translate for me? I can speak four languages but this guy ain't making no sense at all in any of 'em," complained Ranma.  
  
Hiroshi stood and nodded to the teacher. "Oh, may I? I speak 'Deranged Babble'!"  
  
Tatewaki Kuno stared. What were they talking about? Could it be that his noble speech was too refined for this lowborn knave to comprehend him? That must be it!  
  
At a resigned nod from the teacher, Hiroshi eagerly began the laborious process of translating Kunospeak to Japanese. "What he's saying is that he thinks you are using your engagement to Nabiki in order to get close to Akane. That way you could seduce her without going through the whole 'beat on her to date her' challenge."  
  
Tatewaki Kuno nodded. "Tis even as this peasant has declaimed that thou seekest to force thy way into her heart using filial piety. The heavens themselves do weep at such deception!"  
  
Ranma blinked and turned back to Hiroshi.  
  
"He said I've gotten the basics," translated Hiroshi.  
  
Ranma thought, pondered, and thought some more. Finally he had to ask. "Why would I be trying to get close to Akane?"  
  
Akane hmmphed. "Why would I let you get close to me?"  
  
Hiroshi turned to Tatewaki Kuno, composing the question. "Nay, milord, for I am but a humble peasant and thy great musings be beyond my kenning. How come thou to such conclusion?"  
  
Kuno blinked. Why in the world were they translating for him? "This Machiavellian cad can see that only one of the daughters Tendo be worth any man's attention - and that one is the fair Akane. Hence his attachment to the wretched wench with the fascination for matters pecuinary whilst secretly he doth seek to bed Akane! Surely such duplicity cannot be allowed to stand!"  
  
Everyone turned to Hiroshi. Those who understood Kuno were waiting to see how Hiroshi translated that.  
  
Hiroshi considered carefully. Ah. "He says the only reason you're engaged to the skanky Nabiki is to shag Akane."  
  
"WHAT?!" Ranma and several others asked in a scream.  
  
A textbook (oddly enough bearing the name N.Tendo) flew in from the hallway and bounced off of Tatewaki Kuno's head for no apparent reason.  
  
"I hate you, you know," said Kuno to someone in the hallway.  
  
"I can't let you talk about Nabiki like that," said Ranma, standing up. "Uhm, what's 'shag' mean?"  
  
"Sex," supplied Hiroshi. "Sorry."  
  
"Oh. Well, I can't let you talk about Akane like that either then," said Ranma, cracking knuckles. Class had been boring anyway.  
  
"Uncouth blackamoor, what intentions have thee to dispute it?"  
  
Hiroshi blinked. "He wants to know what you're going to do about it."  
  
"This is not the place for a fight, follow me," said Ranma charging past the kendoist.  
  
"That I shall!"  
  
"And whoever wins gets to bed Akane!" *THWAM!* "ouch!"  
  
"That isn't what he said," growled Akane.  
  
------------  
  
Faerie:  
  
"Grink is dead."  
  
"Well, that's how things go, the Mortal Realm is a dangerous place. Cold iron."  
  
"Grink was killed by magic."  
  
That brought the UnSidhe up short. Mortals wielding magic had not been very common in the past. For Grink to run into one that quickly might mean the number of magic wielders had increased. A gesture brought up an image of a village of women. "Contact the makai."  
  
"The demon realm?" Yngvi wasn't too sure about that.  
  
"They enjoy such things," said Gammon, one of Golderon's lieutenants. "Maybe a shikima. A village of women would interest such a one. Once the demon has been turned loose we will see either how much magic they have, or we will be owed a favor from a satiated shikima. Either way we come out ahead."  
  
Yngvi nodded. No wonder Gammon hadn't been put on the stack with all the dead minions yet.  
  
---------  
  
Japan:  
  
"Good thing there was a pool there," said one of the students as Ranma and Kuno continued to fall from the third floor of the school.  
  
Ranma's yelp said otherwise.  
  
"You idiot," grumbled Akane. "What, did you think you could fly as a boy too?"  
  
"What did you say, Akane?" Hiroshi glanced at Akane, wondering what the heck THAT comment had meant. Not that he wanted to get hit again.  
  
The waters of the pool erupting a moment later gave answer. Wings spread and with the sparkling glow that meant her self-control was currently shot, Ranma shot out of the pool.   
  
"That idiot groped me!" Ranma shuddered in mid-air.  
  
"RANMA! YOU IDIOT! Did you want everyone to know about your curse?!" Akane glared at this harbinger of trouble. Now that everyone knew he turned into something out of some magical girl series who knew what crap would be hitting her family?  
  
Ranma blinked, realizing where she was. Also realizing all of the classmates were currently staring at Akane. Now at her. Now back to Akane. "Way to go," Ranma mumbled.  
  
"Oops," managed Akane as she realized the same thing. "Well, it's your own fault!"  
  
Ranma glided to within a few feet of the open window. "I thought we settled that already! It's a curse, curses are not something you CHOOSE to get. Curses are inflicted. About the only thing this curse has going for it is this flying!" (Which is a bit of a rush, but that's beside the point.)  
  
"Look at you," Akane wasn't quite yelling but it came close. How dare he argue with her! "Not only are you a pervert, you're a perversion! You're a freak!" He was calling attention to her, people would think SHE was a freak or something for associating with Ranma. Or, almost as bad, something out of a Clamp shojo manga or something - so they'd think she was an otaku. The horror, the horror.  
  
The crowd looked from one to the other, not quite understanding what was going on but some of it was beginning to penetrate.  
  
"So Ranma turns into some kinda elf girl, cause of some curse." Daisuke summed up for the even slower members of the crowd. "Least she's cute."  
  
Both Ranma and Akane looked disgusted at this last observation.  
  
Far below them, Tatewaki Kuno was making his own observations, staring up at the winged girl above him. A pig-tailed goddess, a waterborne sprite, a vision of otherworldly beauty. Now, how was he going to catch her? And where had that peasant Saotome gone?  
  
--------  
  
Sea Of Japan:  
  
"There is a house...  
in New Orleans,  
and they call it the Rising Sun..."  
  
"She's pretty good," said Nathan, not remembering catgirls the last time he'd been on Earth. Or Chinese Amazons with silly names. Or "Martial Arts Housekeeping"?! The song, "House Of The Rising Sun", was familiar. Most of the rest was not.  
  
He was used to every Reset on the universe producing small changes caused by fractal patterns not quite meshing, but this one looked to have some pretty large changes on the local level.  
  
"Bleeeurghhhhhh," exclaimed Dina in no uncertain terms expressing her dislike of sea travel.  
  
"I'm surprised she still has anything to heave," pointed out Neko-san. "At least the rest of them aren't having much problems. Well, at this point."  
  
"Earlier was a problem," Nathan agreed. "We can put the nets out now."  
  
"What about the chubby one?" Neko-san pointed towards Dina.  
  
"If you were to offer to throw her overboard and let her drown, I think she'd take you up on it." Nathan shook his head. "Ah well, 'mountain girl meets the ocean' and neither walk away unchanged."  
  
"Yeah, but the ocean's recovering a lot quicker," replied Neko-san.  
  
-------  
  
Furinkan SHS, Japan:  
  
Ranma sat back against the tree, watching the crowds, and sighed deeply. After the fight with Kuno had come repeated demands from faculty and students to see the curse operate again and again.  
  
He'd been fondled, pinched, had a wing almost torn off, and had the school biology teacher waxing almost Kuno-esque about the possibility of a full biopsy.  
  
Even as much as Akane disliked him, she had turned a bit green at some of the details that Mister Hisakawa had been expounding on.  
  
Maybe it was just Akane's time of month.   
  
Then something unexpected had started to happen. Two of Akane's friends had started running interference. So had that Hiroshi and Daisuke. That girl Miyo had been ready to rap knuckles at one point.  
  
Though some people were obviously avoiding him while they figured out how to deal with it themselves. Nabiki among that number.  
  
All of which brought Ranma here. At lunch, back against a tree, with nobody willing to talk TO him but almost everyone talking ABOUT him. Not really having an appetite, he took out his flute instead.  
  
Featherbrite had given him another flute to replace the one she had made, bringing it from somewhere within the Faerie Realms. It looked like it was bamboo, but Genma's best efforts hadn't put a scratch in it. She said it was an old instrument crafted by a fellow named Kokopelli.  
  
Ranma began to play in the manner that he had been taught by Featherbrite. He began with the tune "Greensleeves" but poured his feelings into it, and it became something entirely different.   
  
He didn't consider that when a normally gifted musician puts all his heart into a piece, it can take on a sort of magic. When the musician in question was trained by one of the Faerie, and when the instrument being used was crafted and enchanted by a Lord of Magic, the results could be far-reaching.  
  
The music spread over the campus, and as Ranma played the music, so the music played the listeners.  
  
Sayuri cried as the music told of a child's loneliness as he was taken from his home and mother to wander the cold and the rain with an indifferent father. The flute spoke of constantly being on the move, and a father who equated affection with weakness. Insults and violence - that was Genma's method of maintaining the bonds of father and son.  
  
Yuka grew angry as the flute told of how a child could be tortured for the sake of the Art, and of pain endured repeatedly and senselessly. Of a restless dark where eyes maddened by hunger gleamed. The Catfist, which had not been allowed to take place in its fullness, but had left its own scars nonetheless.  
  
Hiroshi stared at nothing in particular as the flute skirled through brief passages of friendship found and eagerly accepted, then lost again and again as the open road called the father on to other places. Of keeping to the shadows to avoid entanglements with the law.  
  
Daisuke knew exactly what the flute spoke of as it told of being alone in a crowd, of no one to call friend or kin or confidante. Of having to keep the world at bay rather than grow too close to anyone, rather than risk having one's heart rended by their loss.  
  
The flute briefly broke into a bubbly happy tune that brought smiles to many faces, speaking of a friend found, one who didn't quite understand, but was there for him. Hikaru Gosunkugi felt he understood the loneliness, and longed for such a friend himself - someone who could touch his soul and bring the sun out of the darkness.  
  
Tatewaki Kuno heard the flute sweep through a passage of despair as another friend left, of the feeling of sadness at having been challenged to a battle by one who had been deemed friend. He listened to the flute speak of life without a home, without a family, and felt unfamiliar feelings stir within his heart. But then, was the flute not a noble instrument? Many itinerant samurai were thought to have learned the instrument, so his own interest in such things were quite acceptable.  
  
Nabiki stared out the window at the flautist and listened to the flute speak of days and nights without food or water, no bed or shelter. The song seemed to speak of a lifetime of poverty and privation, of times of such loneliness as one's heart seemed to be reduced to cold stone and ash and the bitter taste of it filled one's mouth. The images and feelings spoke directly to the mercenary Tendo - of having no possessions of one's own, of starving while one's father gorged himself, of having nothing but what one could keep hidden from that very father.  
  
Akane flinched as the flute spoke of becoming cursed, of such a simple thing as one's body being taken and _twisted_ into a new form, without control, without any warning. The flute sang on about being overwhelmed as everything was thrown into chaos with a single careless moment.  
  
Keiko Amano stopped her article in the school paper as the flute erupted into the joy of finding oneself able to fly, to leave behind the anchors to the ground and soar effortlessly through the clouds. For a brief shining moment, Keiko understood what it was like to be freed from trudging along the ground, and instead to twirl and dance along the winds themselves.  
  
Both Akane and Nabiki winced as the flute spoke of new hope dawning, of extending one's hands and craving friendship, only to find disgust, distrust, dislike, and needless cruelty as others sought to distance themselves, rather than leave their own hearts vulnerable.  
  
The flute finished, speaking this time of being an exhibit on display, of being judged unclean, of having the curse triggered repeatedly for no more than a moment's cruel entertainment. Again it spiraled, speaking of hardships endured, and still more loneliness and the horrors of being forced to endure further ostracism.  
  
Ranma put the flute away, he always felt better after having played. As if a burden had been shifted. He ate the obento that Kasumi had prepared and wondered why everyone was looking in his direction.  
  
The drama coach considered the scheduled midterm play "Romeo & Juliet" and considered switching it with "Midsummer's Night Dream."  
  
The music teacher sniffled, reached for her third kleenex, and wondered if it would break the school budget to talk to Nabiki about having her iinazuke join up or would she settle for a percentage of ticket prices?  
  
--Shinjuku, Tokyo---  
  
Night crept over the Japanese islands. The Hunt began and ended as it always did, with the predator dropping now-lifeless prey down into its lair. Less than an hour had passed since nightfall.  
  
The hunting was good in Tokyo. No one had any real faith, garlic was rare, and the real threats were all but nonexistant to someone who took reasonable precautions.  
  
"Cursed One," came a voice where no one should be.  
  
Hissing, the vampire examined the shadows with senses far more acute than those of a mortal. "Who dares?"  
  
An armored knight seemed to form, the skull within the helm turned glowing eyes in his direction. "I dare. I merely tell you of a faerie in your territory."  
  
"A faerie?" His nose up and sniffing, the vampire checked. Yes, there *was* an odd scent on the air tonight.   
  
"A source of power for one such as you," explained the skeletal warrior. "Enough power that you might challenge the one who has wronged you."  
  
"What do you know of *my* suffering, Knight? We have never met before and since I have embraced my undead status my power has grown immensely!"  
  
The skeletal warrior considered the vampire briefly. "Yet it is not enough, is it? You still seek power because the Master Vampire who created you still wanders the Earth. You did challenge him once before, did you not?"  
  
The vampire started forward only to run into some kind of invisible wall.  
  
"There is fresh blood and victims and magic to be found, simply go and claim it. My purposes are served if you remove the Vampire Lord," said the skeleton, fading into the shadows.  
  
The vampire sniffed the air again. Someone else who'd gotten pissed off at the old "Master." That was acceptable. He'd deal with that knight *after* dealing with Dimitri.  
  
--------  
  
China:  
  
The tentacle demon could hardly believe its luck. That rumor had been correct. Here was an entire village of defenseless nubile young human women that it could slake its unnatural desires on.   
  
It would take these young ladies, slime them up really good, then have an entire village of slaves! Tentacles began to writhe in anticipation.  
  
"There's another one!"  
  
"Squad A, DRAW! Aim! Release! Rapid fire now!"  
  
The shikima looked up to see a rain of arrows. Literal as in a torrent of arcing black fletched arrows reaching their apex and starting down. "What the Hells?!"  
  
"Javelin squad," barked Cologne. "Salt your weapons. Release!"  
  
"IIiiiiiiiEEEEEEEE!"  
  
Seeing the thing was wounded badly but still moving, Cologne decided to finish it off. She leapt in front of the thing, looking it straight in the eyes. Then she pulled her robe off in a single motion.   
  
"AAAGGHHHHHHHH!!!! MY EYES MY EYES! AAAAAAAAAAA!"   
  
Watching the shuddering mass of tentacles fading away, Azure turned to one of the other warriors there. "Even if they *are* evil demon-beasts, you have to kinda feel sorry for them."   
  
With a final sob, the latest tentacle beast to find the village disappeared.   
  
Grumbling about how it was undignified if effective, Cologne put her robe back on then added another chalk mark to the board.  
  
---------  
  
Faerie:  
  
Holly was a hamadryad, and therefore higher in station than a "mere" dryad. Nonetheless she prostrated herself before someone higher in station than she was.  
  
"Are you sure," said the bimbo-ish voice of the Princess, "no - of course you're sure. Otherwise you would not have brought this to me. You are entirely too fond of remaining away from the courts, Holly Hamadryad, to willfully associate with them now."  
  
"I was not aware that one such as myself had come under scrutiny of the Courts," Holly said. The idea was rather disturbing.  
  
"You are an old associate of Fabu Tear Bri'te of the Cor Mai Tal pixies, and she has somehow attracted the attention of no less a personage than the Queen." The Princess smiled momentarily at the way the hamadryad's back muscles started twitching.  
  
"I see," said Holly, liking this even less. Titania's moods were as mercurial as any faerie. More so than some.   
  
"The UnSidhe may be moving to and from the Mortal Realm in greater numbers, in which case we may need to do the same." The Princess' voice turned sad. If it came to open conflict, many faerie lives may be lost. Which was not a good thing at all considering that they were otherwise immortal. A few breeds, like farm ogres, had souls and mortal bloodlines - others did not and were especially vulnerable to certain dangers of the Mortal Realm.  
  
Holly pushed off slightly and prepared to dive into a tree in order to link back to her grove. "I merely wanted to pass the warning along my Princess. I shall think long and hard of your concerns."  
  
---------  
  
Back to Japan:  
  
"Excuse me, Ranma, what are these?" Nabiki fingered one of the paper slips hanging from the outer wall. "These almost look like spiritual wards." Except that they seemed faintly luminescent, for one thing. At least briefly, though they seemed to fade into the gloom shortly thereafter.  
  
"Nabiki," Ranma flipped off the wall and stood before her, looking down at her with a faint smile. "What do you know of faerie magic?"  
  
Kasumi answered from where she had been sitting, showing that while she might have just stayed in the background - she still observed things. "It's small scale things, isn't it?"  
  
Nabiki shook her head when she saw that Ranma was still looking for an answer from her. "You tell me, Saotome, up until yesterday magic was something that didn't exist."  
  
Akane settled back into the shadows, still not quite sure how to handle what she had seen and felt when Ranma had been playing that flute earlier. Had he cast a spell on her? Was that why she had felt like that? Why was everyone else so   
trusting of him? He was a stranger, he dabbled in magic, he could easily be a demon or something.  
  
Ranma turned back to the task but continued the conversation despite his obvious attention elsewhere. "Faerie magic isn't about demanding or forcing the universe to do anything. I know how to ask the pieces of the cup to come back together, or to convince them the break never happened. It's also about feeling, as the faerie are more emotional than intellectual."  
  
Nabiki watched Ranma put two more of the wards in place. "So... you had a bad feeling?"  
  
"Yeah," Ranma said with a nod. "Mind you, these aren't really strong, but I had to learn how to do this for trips into the Faerie Realms, there's things in there that you don't want to meet." Like bog fairies.  
  
Nabiki considered that. She valued someone well-traveled, and trips into magical places would certainly qualify as unusual experiences. "Ranma."  
  
"Yes, Nabiki?" Ranma looked hesitatingly back at his on-again/off-again iinazuke, trying to guess her mood from the swirl of colors around her.  
  
"Could you play something on your flute again?" Nabiki didn't mention the recording equipment she'd hidden around the place. What he didn't know wouldn't bother him. "Something a bit happier than you played at lunch?"  
  
Ranma nodded and finished the first set of wards. "I'd be happy to, Nabiki." This was looking up, she'd asked him to play for her. Akane's aura had less anger (though she was still radiating distrust as well as other things he couldn't identify), and Kasumi's was showing a little less of the barriers.   
  
Definitely showing improvement.  
  
--------  
  
China:  
  
"How many is that?"  
  
"Forty three of the ones with all the tentacles, two of those ones with the horns, and five squirrels."  
  
"I saw something moving, give me a break already!"  
  
"Well, it's still better than what Mousse did."  
  
"Yeah, Frost, at least you didn't burn down any buildings."  
  
"Why he thought he could operate the Greek Fire Projector is anyone's guess."  
  
"Darn it, I ran out of throwing knives."  
  
"You could always go clean off the ones you've thrown."  
  
"That would mean touching them. ICKY! I don't want to get any of that stuff on me!"  
  
"What? Are you an Amazon or aren't you?! Get those weapons!"  
  
"That isn't very sanitary you know."  
  
"Hey, since Mousse managed to knock out Dowel while he was trying to operate the GFP, do you suppose that counts as a marriage proposal?"  
  
"You know, Shampoo would certainly appreciate it if it WAS considered such."  
  
--------  
  
Japan:  
  
Ranma settled onto a section of roof, aware of his father's disapproval and of Soun Tendo's vague agreement with his old friend. Though Soun was a little put off by how years of frustration had altered Genma. According to them: time spent playing music was time wasted that could have been spent on the Art.  
  
Ranma felt there were different Arts, each having their own time and place. Featherbrite had quoted him some ancient song about this. "A time for war, a time for peace..." though in the original Aramaic it had an odd cadence.  
  
Sometimes Ranma wondered about that. What it was like to be over 12,000 years old. To have a friend who would grow old and die almost within the blink of an eye compared to that sort of lifespan... How much of the faerie viewpoint was due to such a long lifespan? She had seen Empires rise and fall, mankind struggle up from stone knives and bearskins to some kind of civilization more than once by her own admission, and the Industrial Age that had caused most of her own kind to retreat to the Faerie Realms and other worlds.  
  
Putting aside such considerations for the moment, Ranma felt the presence of Kasumi and Nabiki doing the dishes in the kitchen below. Akane was starting to fidget over algebra problems. Something lowkey, but Nabiki had requested something happy.  
  
Featherbrite hadn't known the name of the piece that she had taught Ranma. It was just something she had heard once in Europe during the so-called Dark Ages. A peasant folk tune with brightly clothed dancers forgetting their problems for   
a time to become lost in the restless energy of the dance. Again he did as he had been taught and threw himself totally into the music, this time without taking the liberties he had during his lunchtime concert. His foot tapped against the rooftiles to provide the beat.  
  
Akane looked up, her homework forgotten for a moment as the melody came through her window. Seeing a strip of paper hanging over it, she pulled it down. Another spirit ward. Honestly, that boy was such so strange. If it turned out that this *was* some kind of trick, she would remain untouched by it.  
  
Nabiki sped from the kitchen with her tape recorder and quickly set up where she could record the little serenade. She had mailers with the addresses of two recording studios ready. The smile on her face was only partly from the revenue, there seemed to be some infectious energy in the alien music.  
  
Kasumi merely listened to the music and enjoyed. It was her way, just as looking for a profit was Nabiki's, and Akane MIGHT bring herself to enjoy it but wouldn't admit it. A brief image came to her, of brightly dressed gaijin dancing with frantic energy in the light of a campfire as a pair of farmers played.  
  
Uncaring, Ranma finished the old dance tune and went on to something a little more modern. Only a little bit though. He wondered if Featherbrite had actually met Bach...  
  
Kasumi looked up as the piping went into the "Ode To Joy" and marvelled again at her sister's iinazuke. Perhaps he was a bit immature, but he obviously was not as simple as she had first perceived him to be. There was some growing rift between   
Ranma and Nabiki, and Kasumi considered the possibility that one one woman's trash might well be another's treasure.  
  
Nabiki listened to the old piece played in a manner that the composer had probably never anticipated. She checked and made sure that the recorder was still running. The gleam in her eyes was a reflection of the money she stood to make.  
  
-------  
  
Azabu Juuban:  
  
There came an odd chill in the air, as if it were hearkening back to winter for a brief time. People shivered at the sudden change, but mainly ignored it.  
  
Animals reacted a bit differently. Dogs began barking, cats fluffed their fur had looked about them with discomfort, small herbivores and scavengers skittered away.  
  
Animals tended to be sensitive to what modern society might consider supernatural. They knew better than the human populace. There were predators abroad that night.  
  
A few glimpsed the image in reflective surfaces, to look wildly about and see no trace of the horrific visage other than that reflection. A samurai in tattered brigandine armor, the flesh reduced to a skeleton with red slashes for eyes.  
  
Worse was the feeling that it was looking for something. Or someone.  
  
Compared to *that* the huge bat was as nothing. Well, almost nothing.   
  
The entire publishing department saw the skeletal knight briefly and there was an immediate panic and heading for the roof. At which point the bat was also sighted.  
  
Half the department fainted, half swore off drinking in the afternoon, but the professionals among the two wondered how they could use this in a manga.  
  
---------  
  
Nerima:  
  
Akane couldn't sleep. The reason for this was not the algebra homework she'd failed to complete, nor the English test the next day.  
  
It was a jumble of emotions all beginning and ending with the same individual. Ranma Saotome. Nabiki's fiance.  
  
*CRACK!*  
  
Akane frowned as, for no apparent reason, a small charm she'd bought at a shrine came apart on one of her shelves. She'd have to fix that in the morning.  
  
A sound at her window, like a tapping, brought Akane to full wakefulness. Akane rose from her bed, trying to figure out who could be up at this hour. Probably some annoying boy.  
  
Akane found herself looking into eyes the color of fresh blood before she knew she was in danger.  
  
---------  
  
"Sasuke!"   
  
"Here, Master Kuno!"  
  
"Don't do that!" Kuno got his heart rate back under control with some effort. If he didn't know better, he'd have thought the bucktoothed ninja enjoyed popping out of nowhere and startling him.  
  
"Sorry, Master Kuno." Sasuke *loved* doing ninja stuff. It was perhaps the only benefit of this job.  
  
"Have you located what I have asked for?"  
  
"I have had to request its manufacture, Master. It will be ready for tomorrow's battle!"  
  
"Excellent." Kuno didn't even bother looking at his underling. He was too busy contemplating the glorious battle that lay before him tomorrow. "Tomorrow, my winged elf maid, tomorrow you shall be mine!"  
  
Kuno's laugh echoed outside the Kuno Estate the way properly done maniacal laughter is supposed to.  
  
-------------  
  
Ranma was awake, and if he had been in yousei form would have been hovering near the ceiling in agitation.  
  
The outer layer of wards were not very powerful. Imps or gremlins would be stopped, but otherwise it was just a warning system. Those warnings had gone off as Something broke through.  
  
The wards outside the house itself were rather stronger and more specialized. These were specifically wards against supernatural evil. If something broke through those, there was some serious trouble. There wasn't the sensation of   
some supernatural evil breaking through those, however.  
  
Both the room Ranma occupied, and the room Nabiki occupied had another layer. This last layer was subtle, hidden, and only meant to give the occupant a few extra moments of warning.  
  
It was this last layer that had gone off, a silent alarm that Something Wicked This Way Comes. That it had apparently bypassed the second layer was indicationto Ranma that this was not one of the mindless Thyngs of faerie, nor even a bog-imp such as the "spider" that had been ready to devour Featherbrite all those years ago. This was therefore Evil and Intelligent.  
  
Ranma kicked his father awake then made a hand signal where the panda could see it. Genma immediately came awake without his usual grumpiness and far more quickly. He had been the one who had taught Ranma the shinobi hand signals years ago.  
  
Danger. Intruder. Nearby. The hand signals were only meant to convey specific ideas, but this it did very well. Ranma's hands stopped as the door to the room began to slide open.  
  
------  
  
Nabiki awoke immediately at the sounds of a fight going on. Wondering what could be this bad at 3am, the groggy teenager stuck her head out her door and wondered if she were still dreaming.  
  
Hissing like a monitor lizard, Akane hefted Genma in his giant panda form over her head and threw him down the stairs with no visible effort.  
  
Ranma did a spinning kick to Akane's head that should have torn her younger sister's head off but just caused Akane to stagger slightly.  
  
Ranma used the opportunity to apply an Octopus hold to the berserk teenager. "Nabiki," Ranma managed as Akane tried to dislodge him. "Get (urk) a spirit ward. (Ak) Hurry!"  
  
Nabiki froze as she got a look at Akane's face. Maybe it was the bared fangs, maybe it was the glowing red eyes, maybe it was just the way she kept slamming the struggling Ranma into and through the walls. She didn't think that was her   
sister after all.(1)  
  
Nabiki just barely registered Kasumi moving forward and slapping something against Akane's forehead. Whatever it was had to be hot because smoke immediately started pouring up and Akane HOWLED.  
  
It wasn't until after Akane had collapsed and a shaking Ranma was leaning against the wall that Nabiki saw what Kasumi had in her hand. A silver cross.  
  
"WHAT was that?"  
  
"Vampiric possession." Ranma tried to catch his breath.  
  
"Vampires," Nabiki managed. "Well, I suppose if curses, faerie, and the like exist, I shouldn't be TOO surprised. Why did it come here? Why Akane?"  
  
"I don't know," answered Ranma honestly. "Why Akane? I'm not sure, and speculating would be pointless. Oh, thanks, Kasumi."  
  
"How do you know about vampires, anyway? Is this one who followed you?" Nabiki was shaking and scared and didn't like either condition.  
  
"No. My faerie companion introduced me to one once during a night I was being music trained. He isn't a bad sort, though, and would NEVER do this sort of thing."  
  
"A nice vampire?" Kasumi stated, apparently not noticing at how Ranma had stared at her nightgown before turning away flushed. It was just her way of repeating things to indicate that she understood.  
  
"Yeah, whoever or whatever attacked, I'm sure it wasn't Geoffery. He's wandering Japan looking for a cure." Ranma sighed and looked at the damage. "Guess I better get started fixing all this."  
  
Nabiki hesitated before kneeling down next to her sister. One hiss or gleam of red though, and she'd be doing a credible imitation of a gazelle. She brushed the hair back from Akane's neck and stared at the two wounds revealed there.  
  
"I'll need to reinforce the wards, and if Kasumi can buy extra garlic, we can keep this from going any further." Ranma's gaze met Nabiki's over the prone Akane.  
  
"Oh dear," summed up Kasumi.  
  
--------  
  
Vladimir entered his lair and scowled at the surroundings. So close, he'd been so close. If he could drink the blood of a faerie, and use the wings and body in the Dark Arts, then his long plan could be completed.  
  
"Soon, soon, I shall have my vengeance against you, Dmitri Maximov!"  
  
The vampire entered his coffin to rest. Tomorrow he had to feed again on Akane Tendo, and then he'd be able to get past the wards and get the blood and body of the faerie.  
  
He didn't realize how much like his ancient foe he had become.  
  
------------  
  
The ship crossing the waters in night was used to pirates, the Flying Dutchman, and a number of other perils.  
  
The large reptile landing on the deck was none of the above.  
  
"You ssshall take me to the place known as Japan, in return, I ssshall make your deathsss relatively painlesssss," suggested the wyvern.  
  
Five amazons got up. Nathan checked his gun. The exiled three stood ready. A werecat shifted fully into hybrid.  
  
"Foolissh mortals, I sshall feed on your liversss!"  
  
Guns spoke. Martial arts ranged weapons struck.  
  
"Go for the eyes, Boo, go for the eyes! AAAAAAA!"  
  
Including some strange attacks.  
  
Brief silence.  
  
"BReeaauughhh," said Dina over the side of the ship. Getting excited really hadn't helped.  
  
----------  
  
Nerima:  
  
Kasumi was up, as was usual, before the sunrise. She'd gotten a little less sleep than normal, undead showing up in the middle of the night having that effect, and was hoping the rest of the day was calm enough that a nap could actually be   
scheduled.  
  
A six inch faerie entering through an open window dispelled that idea.  
  
Kasumi hoped that Ranma would be able to put together that mixing bowl again.  
  
Featherbrite noted that this girl's eyes were tracking her, and allowed herself to be drawn from the reunion with Ranma.  
  
"Oh, you must be Ranma's imaginary friend." Kasumi remembered Genma's talks about that. Ranma denied that the friend in question was imaginary. Genma insisted that she was. If she could see the little creature, then Ranma obviously had a very good imagination.  
  
Featherbrite used her abilities to pass through the young woman's almost nonexistant mental defenses and gave a sigh that would have been accompanied by a big sweatdrop if she weren't so tiny. A couple of temporary fixes seemed to be indicated. This girl was so polite that she just accepted what that horrible Genma had told her, almost without a second thought.  
  
The faerie checked and found that this girl actually found Ranma attractive! Not that she'd ever do anything about it because of some odd barriers she'd put over her behavior, and some other things the faerie wasn't exactly sure about. Ranma insisted that tweaking someone's mind was wrong, but surely a few corrections here and there would be ok.  
  
"Genma is mistaken. He is not very clever." Featherbrite put a little extra power into the words. "I am invisible to many. You can see me."  
  
Kasumi nodded. Yes, she had noticed that Mister Saotome was missing a few bricks from the load. A few donuts shy of a dozen. The elevator didn't quite reach the top floor, in his case at least.  
  
Featherbrite looked this girl over, inside and out, and immediately labelled her "Candidate #2" as far as THAT went. She'd find Ranma first, then get a sleeping Shampoo off the roof. The sooner she got someone to start sleeping with Ranma, the sooner she'd be able to get the damn panda's influence over Ranma diluted.  
  
Finding Ranma asleep, Featherbrite decided that this was a VERY good idea and found her own place to sleep.  
  
------------  
  
"Okay Saotome," Nabiki licked nervous lips. "I'm ready." Silently she added that she _hoped_ she was ready.  
  
Ranma scooped Nabiki up in her arms. "Okay, what first?"  
  
"How high up can you go?" Nabiki tried not to think about the stomach flipflop sensation of freefall. They were only a foot above the ground, and she had a squeeze bottle of cold water in case (somehow) they ran into hot water during the flight.  
  
"What are you two doing?" Akane came out, holding her head and looking like she'd just gone two rounds with a world class martial artist.  
  
"I'm going for a ride, Akane. He's my iinazuke, after all, and it's only fair to find out what all he can do. Even if he's a she at the moment." Nabiki turned to look at Ranma. "Now, Ranma, let's find out."  
  
Akane watched as the two figures shot up into the air, quickly becoming specks in the distance. "Baka..." Akane's voice broke on the last syllable. She wasn't sure if she was referring to Nabiki or Ranma. Not that she was jealous, mind   
you. She had vague memories of the previous night filtering in, but they didn't make much sense at the moment.  
  
Kasumi dried a plate and looked skyward at the dot that was her sister and her fiance. She wondered if she could get a ride later. It could be very convenient for shopping. "How nice. Do you suppose Ranma's little friend is still asleep in his room?"  
  
Akane gave Kasumi an odd look. "Little friend? Kasumi, are you feeling all right? Mister Saotome said that it was all just Ranma's imagination."  
  
"Mister Saotome is a few cards short of a full deck." Kasumi continued to watch as the tiny speck made a ninety degree turn and passed behind a cloud. "He's a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Not running on all cylinders. A few holes under   
par."  
  
Akane stared and wondered exactly what was going on. Deciding she was too tired to care at this point, Akane went back into the house to finish getting ready for school.  
  
Kasumi merely felt a pang of envy, quickly suppressed, and decided to see if Ranma's little friend was ok.  
  
---------------  
  
Nabiki decided she would not squeal, she would not faint, she would NOT do anything to indicate that she was viewing the entire experience as anything but a scientific experiment. She was admittedly having a very hard time with this.  
  
After looking down at teeny-tiny roads and the tops of clouds, Nabiki had realized that they had stopped climbing in altitude because the air was getting thin. Not that Ranma-yousei's wings beat or had anything like a surface to air ratio that would have supported them. Because much further up would have been difficult to breathe.  
  
As far as speed went, she had trouble figuring out the details. Her watch indicated that they had traveled the one kilometer from the ice cream parlor to Furinkan high in less than ten seconds. That indicated, Nabiki did the numbers in her head, 6km per minute or a top speed via Air Ranma of roughly 360kph.  
  
While part of her mind was busy cataloguing and analyzing, part of it was registering the cinnamon smell of Ranma-chan. Of the realization that, female form at the moment to the side, that it was her iinazuke holding her safe as they raced among clouds and chased the wind. Part of her wanted to analyze profit potentials. Part of her wanted to giggle and urge Ranma on - faster, higher! To see the dawn from the clouds above Fuji, to skim the waves of the beach at high speed, to dance along the light of day, and cruise slow along the Milky Way.   
  
Nabiki noticed she was getting poetic and ruthlessly stamped that down. For now.   
  
She noted that while weightless and blithely ignoring several important physical laws, it was NOT effortless. When the two of them arrived at Furinkan, Ranma was quite winded.  
  
Regaining her footing, Nabiki nodded at Ranma. "Well, that was interesting. I think that I might have a few ideas how we can make use of that flight talent of yours."  
  
"Whatever you say, Nabiki. I need to find some hot water before classes start."  
  
Lots of staring, as one might expect from having people *fly* to school in the morning. Some looks were envious, others startled, and a few disbelieving.  
  
The reaction of the crowd wasn't quite what Ranma had expected. She nodded at a few requests for some music at lunch, until Nabiki started in on the crowd about ticket prices at least.  
  
Akane arrived and looked around. Everyone was paying attention to Nabiki and Ranma? Nobody had noticed that she was here? It wasn't like she felt well this morning anyway. She decided to be happy about this turn of events and get to class on time, rather than resent the way everyone was ignoring her arrival.   
  
"Ah, winged goddess, how your presence shines like the morning sun itself. Truly, you must be a wild spirit. Let my heart tame you, that you may accept the jesses of my love."  
  
Almost everyone was staring at Kuno.  
  
"Uh, Kuno. What the heck are you talking about?"  
  
"I come prepared to capture your heart, with this." Kuno pulled the manriki-gusari out and threw it in one motion.  
  
Nabiki stared in horror, the moment seeming to be in slow motion as she noted the steel had sleeves of some dark metal on the links.  
  
"What kind of lame attack is this," Ranma asked as she reached out to snatch the weapon out of the air.  
  
-------  
  
(1)- based on scenes from TOS, Nabiki is not what one would call a morning person. It takes her awhile to bring the higher functions on line.  
  
Next: Another New Complication. we'll see you there.  
  
  
Exe, a cute young Asgardian member of the Goddess Relief Office, pondered the pool. "What about changing the age of Jusenkyo?"  
  
Batt, another cute young Asgardian member of the Goddess Relief Office, pondered her colleague."What about it?"  
  
"What kind of effect would *that* have?" Exe wondered aloud.  
  
"Already been done," said a girl of about their age, wearing Pernese dragonriding gear. The only thing out of place in her ensemble was her violet eyes and the Silence Glaive she had laid across her lap. "Check RN-JP 401811."  
  
"Display RN-JP 401811," said Com, the third of the young goddesses, who didn't say much since her stocks had just gone bust.  
  
----------  
  
WHAT IF RUMIKO TAKAHASHI LIKED TO DRAW DINOSAURS?  
  
"Uhm, wrong title. Try again," said Exe.  
  
WHAT IF JUSENKYO WAS A WHOLE HECKUVA LOT OLDER?  
  
"Better," proclaimed Batt. "Oh by the way, this is just an omake for general amusement, so don't get your panties in a wad about it, okay?"  
  
-----------  
  
"Honestly, engaging us to some guy you don't even know?!" Akane humphed.  
  
"I hope he's cute," said Nabiki.  
  
"I hope he's older," said Kasumi.  
  
"How depressing, a boy," mumbled Akane.  
  
---------  
  
One old man pushed a pawn two spaces forward. "We're from Nerima. We ain't phased by much."  
  
"Gronk!" "Rrrrragghhhh!" "Brahhhhhh!"  
  
The other old man paused. "Hmmmm. That there looks a thoroughly P.O.ed velociraptor which is chasing a giant sloth which is being chased itself by an anklyosaurus. Hmmmph. Don't see that every day. Reminds me of the time I was at Seoul."  
  
The first old man chortled. "Well, that was what you got for monkeying with me' still, Beej! Asides, that there ain't no velociraptor. It's a Utahraptor. Velociraptors are those little ones about the size of a medium dog or so."  
  
"Reckon you're right, Hawkeye." Beej watched the odd procession go by. "Looks like that there anklyosaur done got lost."  
  
"Must have the direction sense of a Hibiki," agreed Hawkeye. "Hah! Lets see ya get out of *this*!"  
  
---------  
  
"They'll be here any moment," said Soun.  
  
"You've been saying that for the past three hours, Daddy." Nabiki stood up. "I'm going to change."  
  
"...any moment," repeated Soun.  
  
Akane was smiling. No boys! Yayyyy!  
  
--------  
  
"Gronk!" "ch-ch-ch-ch-chk. Rragh!" "Where the hell am I NOW?!"  
  
"Aiyah! Ranma! Sash is here! You no run away! You give Sash magical powerup item just like in Rayearth, yes?!"  
  
"RAAAAK!" "Gronk!" "Ah! It's that crazy Amazon chick!"  
  
-------  
  
A multi-millionaire sat back, enjoying the atmosphere of a small Japanese okonomiyaki restaurant. Now if he could just think of the next Big Gimmick. Something he could use to entertain the masses, capture the imaginations, and make himself a hefty profit.  
  
"Here ya go," said the Kansai accented bishonen behind the portable grill. "Deluxe beef okonomiyaki, by the greatest okonomiyaki chef around."  
  
The multimillionaire ate a piece and nodded. "It *is* great! Sorry, but I'm just trying to figure out where to get the next great idea. I'm toying around with theme park concepts, but what theme to use."  
  
The bishonen shrugged.  
  
"GRONK!" A huge furry beast ran by, going remarkably fast. Somehow leaving with most of a deluxe beef okonomiyaki.  
  
"Ch-ch-ch-chk!" A reptillian creature of teeth, claws, scythe like BIG claws, and scales ran by.   
  
"RANMA SAOTOME! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! BECAUSE OF YOU (pant pant) I HAVE SEEN THE TRIASSIC PERIOD!"   
  
The businessman paused and handed over a wad of yen. "Aw hell. Gimmee another."  
  
"Right," said the guy behind the grill.  
  
"RANMA SAOTOME!" A very pretty and buxom girl with two long blonde ponytails bounced by. "YOU COME BACK! SASH KNOW YOU MAGICAL MASCOT!"  
  
The businessman paused. "A dinosaur chasing a pleistocene beast through the streets of Tokyo?" There was the sudden sound of a cash register opening somewhere in the background.  
  
The okonomiyaki chef turned "his" grill off. "She said 'Ranma Saotome'?!" A large spatula was pulled from concealment.  
  
A large number of young girls with strange colored hair ran past. "AIREN!" "LOVER!" "DINOSAURS SO COOL!" "RYOUGA DARLING!" "ARE WE THERE YET?!" "WANT TO RIDE RANMA, AND SUGAR NOT MEANING IN HENTAI SENSE!"  
  
"AFTER THEM!" Businessman and chef declared as one.  
  
----------------  
  
"Any moment now," said Soun. "Any moment."  
  
"Good grief, it's 11:00! Good night, Daddy."  
  
--------------  
  
The giant sloth sped up as dawn crested the horizon. There it was, the Tendo home. Yes. He'd be safe there.  
  
Genma glanced over his shoulder as best a giant sloth could do. There was Ranma, still snapping at his tail, apparently very unhappy about the engagement still. There was Ryouga, who hadn't even noticed in his anklyosaur form that he had fifteen Amazons sitting on his back. Plus some Japanese businessman, a small grill, and some guy making okonomiyaki up there. Hmmm okonomiyaki. Yum.  
  
Oh and behind that was the policecars, the animal control van, the MiB people, the news vans, and a couple of helicopters. He wondered if those were JSSDF copters, or were they from a news station? Or maybe it was that wacked out paleo- palilio- that weirdo from the University?  
  
Genma turned his head back in the direction he was heading and realized he was about to impact the front door of the house. No wait! Soun was opening it! His old buddy Soun Tendo would hide him!  
  
---------  
  
Soun still had his toothbrush in his mouth when he opened the front door and looked out. The ground had a tremor in it, but he'd been through worse earthquakes. Though what were all the sirens and...  
  
Soun had a moment to contemplate the fact that there was a giant ground sloth, followed by two dinosaurs, several cars and vans, all heading directly for him at high speeds.   
  
Taking the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, he tossed them aside. Clearly he'd gotten a pack with some of the "funny" additives. Showed him for buying Lucky Strike Yakuza cigarettes. Oh well.  
  
*SCREECH!* *CRASH!* *THUD!* *THWAM!* *BAM!* *SMASH!* *tinkle!* *TRAMPLE!* "Gronk?" *CRUNCH!* "SPLASH!*  
  
It was like a traffic accident. Only more so. The horrible sounds continued on for some time.  
  
Kasumi stepped out of her kitchen, noticing the trail of destruction forming a tunnel through the house. Starting with the front door, going out the back, and ending up in this thorough mess in what remained of the koi pond and the dojo.   
  
Kasumi thought carefully. "Oh my" didn't seem really appropriate for events of this magnitude. "Oh dear." Well, that was a little better.  
  
Nabiki came down the stairs and for once in her life woke up inside a half hour. "What the?!"  
  
Akane came down more slowly, more cautiously, and with her favorite shinnai. "Did I miss breakfast?"  
  
-----------  
  
Soun laughed to himself. "So you turn into a large carnivorous reptile with large slashing claws and a strong bite? Well, your problem isn't so bad. Now which of my daughters will be your new fiancee?"  
  
"None of the above?" Ranma's tone was hopeful.  
  
"Akane would seem the wisest choice," said Kasumi.  
  
"Couldn't agree more," agreed Nabiki.  
  
"ARE YOU NUTS?!" Akane disagreed.  
  
"Well, Akane, you hate boys," pointed out Nabiki.  
  
"So one splash of cold water, and you've got a dinosaur instead of a fiance. What would be more perfect?" Kasumi concluded.  
  
"Where in the world did you get *that* definition of perfect?!" Akane demanded.  
  
"Hmmm," Nabiki hmmed. "She's got a point, Daddy. Both Ranma and his dad mass greater than human. Ranma's cursed form has to weigh three times what his human form is, and Saotome-san has to tip the scales at over three tons. Do you think there'll be much left of the house if they stay here?"  
  
"I'm sure you're exaggerating, Nabiki," said Mister Tendo.  
  
"RANMA! DIE!" Ryouga charged forward, splashing across the fish pond as he did. "Ruuuuunnnnnn!"  
  
"Watch that tea!" Ranma exclaimed just before he and his father got splashed. "Tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-TK!"  
  
"Gronk!"  
  
"My kitchen!"  
  
"Our house you mean! Do something, Daddy!"  
  
"Gronk!" "Hsssssaaaaaa!" "Runnnnnnnnn!"  
  
One of the Amazons pointed something out. "If deal was to get dojo, dojo currently flattened. Dojo go bust, deal go bust. Is darn pity, yes?"  
  
"SAOTOME!"  
  
"Excuse me, but my name is John Hammond. Can we talk?"  
  
---------  
  
"Greeakkkk?!"  
  
"The contract is for five years," explained Nabiki. "Until then - no hot water during any time the park's open. It's in the contract and legally binding. The Amazons can work security and the food booths. I, of course, am one of the main ticket collectors, and we all know how lucrative this dinosaur theme park concept could be."  
  
"Greak-kk. HONK!"  
  
"Well, you couldn't expect them to open a theme park with only TWO dinosaurs and a giant sloth, could you Akane?"  
  
=====  
possibilities:  
Ranma Saotome: Utahraptor  
Genma Saotome: Giant Ground Sloth  
Ryouga Hibiki: Anklyosaur  
Mousse: Stegosaurus  
Akane Tendo: Triceratops  
Soun Tendo: (offer him some money?) Emu  
  
villains:  
big game hunters/poachers  
environmentalist extremists  
religious sect leaders who want to kill the "beasts"  
religious sect leaders who want to worship the "beasts" (you *know* they'd have to kidnap Akane for this)  
Cruella DeVille types (just think of the suitcases we could make out of that triceratops!)  
etc.  
  
Alternate ending provided by SHADE:  
  
*$*$*$*$*$*  
  
The storm had come and gone, and taken the island's state of the art security system with it.  
  
"Eh.h-heheh... you do know there was nothing personal about this? Right Ranma?"  
  
Nabiki backed away nervously from the coldly staring raptor.  
  
Where was everybody else?! Her father had said he was going out to try and get the power back, and hadn't come back yet. Kasumi had exited the control room in order to cook some dinner. So now here she was, all alone with someone she'd exploited, imprisoned, and condemned to a life of having to deal with her sister Akane on a 24-7 basis with *no* way to get away from her.   
  
She'd signed off on the paperwork herself as Ranma's legal agent, with the park open 24-7 he'd be unable to change back. For that matter Akane and all the others introduced to the Jusenkyo cursed waters.  
  
*Tik* *tik* *tik*  
  
Ranma exposed a lot of *very* sharp teeth in what might have passed for a grin.  
  
*Cough*  
  
And then spit out what looked like the torn and stained sleeve of a brown gi.  
  
"DADDY?!"  
  
*Hrough*   
  
A white hair ribbon.  
  
"KASUMI?!!"  
  
*Putooie*  
  
The various rings, earrings and a solid gold rolex that Hammond had been wearing almost went unnoticed.  
  
"Wait! Can't we make a deal--AAAAAHHHH!!!....."  
  
The sounds of a satisfied raptor continued for some time after.  
  
-Epilouge  
  
A slightly plumper Ranma stuck his head out in the morning sun.  
  
He bobbed his head, today would be a good day.  
  
*Tik* *tik*  
  
A second smaller raptor joined him as he stepped out.  
  
They needed to make a nest soon.  
  
Ukyo was already close to laying her first clutch...  
  
-Fin...perhaps. 


	4. Chapter 4

Featherbrite's Tale, the Bet.   
by Gregg Sharp   
  
DISCLAIMER: Take two cups "Ranma 1/2" by R.Takahashi. Add one cup of faerie dust. Lightly sprinkle with other characters and situations. Stir briskly and pour into a 1024 x 768 resolution, some browsers may vary.   
  
4: Another New Complication  
OR... "Kasumi's New Friend"  
  
"Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well, Horatio. I told him not to mess with that explosive PU-238 explosive space modulator, but nobody ever listens to me." -B. Bunny  
  
"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. Especially when Genma Saotome is involved." - J. Ornstead  
  
"I'm so glad this discussion is taking place on such a mature civilized level." - L. Inverse  
  
------------  
  
Featherbrite awoke to find the tall girl checking on her. Another quick probe penetrated the mortal's flimsy mental defenses.  
  
These really were flimsy. Worse than the average mortal. Hmmm. Started with the death of her mother? Adjust there. Good.   
  
Kind, nice, polite, quite intelligent, though there were restraints and barriers in place. Featherbrite snapped to full wakefulness and felt sympathy for this mortal. She'd accidently put in a compulsion that would have her treating Ranma's father like a low-grade moron. (Not that he wasn't, in Featherbrite's opinion, but it might cause further friction if this girl acted like that before Featherbrite was ready to exploit it.) (1)  
  
Worse, this girl had some odd compulsions and self-imposed restrictions on her behavior that the faerie couldn't quite understand. Still, there were some things that Featherbrite had learned after 9,500 years of intermittent observation of the Big Folk. One of these was that some of these humans suffered from odd diseases like "shyness" and "insecurity" and other insanities.  
  
She'd also learned that some restrictions were self-defined, others culture-defined, and still others traumatically defined in the psyche. This last category was almost always something she could mess around with and not get the individual she was helping in trouble. If it was tagged under a "Moral" heading, then removing it would have bad repercussions. If a restriction was under "Survival"- this also would be bad.  
  
In some ways, Featherbrite decided, this girl was even better as a potential mate to Ranma than the Amazon. It wouldn't take much, either. A little tweak here, a little push there, a tiny adjustment behind those chestnut colored eyes and the girl would be seducing Ranma within the week.   
  
Featherbrite sighed. It was SO tempting. She knew Ranma had some odd ideas about this right/wrong thing, and probably wouldn't approve. It was so hard not to do _something_ though. This "Kasumi" put on a happy face but that was just on the surface layers. From what the faerie could see and interpret, if she got this girl and Ranma together, there was a fair chance of a deeper happiness developing. All it would take was a little nudge.  
  
Featherbrite restrained herself, but it was a close thing.  
  
She did cut a few of these odd restrictions that the girl had put on her own behavior referencing her intelligence. For some odd reason, this girl thought that showing off her own talents and intelligence (other than necessary domestic skills, an area where no one sought to compete with her) would "upstage" her sisters and cause them emotional hurt. Humans did some pretty strange things.  
  
Kasumi was talking about making the little guest a little bed when Featherbrite remembered she'd left an Amazon sleeping on the roof.  
  
---------  
  
Ranma grabbed one end of the whirling chain and realized immediately that this wasn't a good idea. She would have dodged but there had been people behind her, and it was only a whirling length of steel with sleeves of a darker metal on the links. It wouldn't have been any problem if she'd been in the uncursed male form. However, in the half-faerie form...  
  
Nabiki was moving before the first involuntary scream from Ranma, reaching into the flames in order pull the chain weapon away from where it had wrapped first around Ranma's hand, then the other end around the faerie-girl's neck.   
  
Akane was rather surprised that Nabiki had beaten her to the rescue. Not having read the same stories as her sister, Akane thought that Kuno must have done something really odd. Incendiary charges seemed out of character for the kendoist. A quick glance at Kuno confirmed that he hadn't expected this sort of thing either. The samurai was standing there still, in shock at what his own actions had just wrought.  
  
"Akane," Nabiki said as she stuffed the chain into her bookbag. "Give me a hand here. She's gone into shock."  
  
Akane lifted Ranma, amazed at how light the cursed form was. "Hot water?"  
  
"Nurse's office first," Nabiki replied as she opened the doors to the school. "Those are third degree burns."  
  
Akane glanced down at bloody charred flesh and nearly dropped the victim. She merely clenched her jaw at the rising nausea, particularly from the smell, and began moving.  
  
Kuno continued to stare at the place his winged goddess had stood. His plans had crumbled away, and even his usual delusions had trouble putting a positive spin on this development.  
  
----------  
  
The "fishing" vessel landed at a small dock that was conveniently not on any maps, patrol routes, or official lists. A deal had been cut ages ago (literally) that as long as certain types of cargo weren't shipped/sold, then the dock would   
remain open and a secret.   
  
Several Amazons of the Nichieju exited the ship, not having to pay for passage as this was part of another agreement. As long as the ship was of use to the various groups who made use of its services, it was neutral ground. The male Amazons and the "Washouts" were a little nervous about the passengers, but others took it in stride.  
  
Parcels were loaded into a haycart, and the ship was quickly and efficiently unloaded. Just as quickly, the ship was loaded and set out again. The Mainland China-Taiwan-Japan route had been established long ago. One of the crew could remember   
before the "People's Revolution" and the closing of Chinese society. Another could remember being present when Marco Polo decided to take a long trip while problems at home cooled.  
  
Nathan Brazil, owner of the Myou Na Maru, was in one of his phases where he was _not_ the Captain. He watched the Amazons leave and remembered the plains of Scythia and the horse-riding spear-toting women that they had been well over 3000 years previously. They had been a fading legend in Homer's time, but nomads were notoriously hard to pin down by the later groups of archaeologists and legend seekers.  
  
Oddly enough he could remember one hugging the ground and offering praise for the end of the sea voyage back then as well.  
  
"Well," came a basso grumble from a squat seaman even shorter than the Wandering Jew, "whatever you can say about it, it's gotta be different. I mean 'Chinese Amazons'?"  
  
"Last time they had crossed the ocean and had been located in what's Nevada this time around. The time before that, they were in South America. Every time the universe gets reset, it's just a little different. If it weren't a little different each time, I don't think I could handle it." Nathan watched the Amazons try to get their bearings. Heck, the Amazons had become a significant force in American politics during the last Universe. This time they seemed to be a secret society.  
  
"Hmph. Still don't know how you do it. I mean, I'm only 900 years old, and I still feel like going to sleep and somebody wake me up when someone's actually doing something new." Tolkein snorted. The old dragon still spoke with an English accent despite his years of seperation from that land. He'd taken the name of a writer from that land as a joke to any who knew his real nature.  
  
Nathan grunted softly. Despite appearances, maybe something major different WOULD happen. Certainly he didn't remember dragons and faeries showing up in the 20th Century the last time.  
  
--------   
  
Ukyo Kuonji's head snapped up. Somewhere. Somehow. She knew. Ranchan was hurt.  
  
"I have you now, Ukyo!"  
  
*WHANG!*  
  
Tsubasa's leap was redirected towards the sky via application of a spatula.   
  
*CLANG!*  
  
As he came back down, Ukyo redirected the Master Of Tacky Disguises in a manuever very similar to spiking a volleyball.  
  
*WHAM!*  
  
The distraction dealt with momentarily, Ukyo looked around but could not tell where the odd feeling was coming from. "Ranchan..."  
  
--------  
  
"Something's happened to Ranma," Featherbrite was buzzing along like an unhappy hummingbird. "He's hurt."  
  
"Oh dear. He's probably at school by now."  
  
Featherbrite didn't think that Shampoo would wake up, but she didn't want the warrior to cause problems in her absence if she did. There was also the unexplained matter of the scent of supernatural evil lingering in the yard.   
  
The faerie sent a structured command into the amazon's mind. (*This is Kasumi. She is a friend but not a warrior. You can trust her. Because she's not a warrior, she may need your protection.*) She sent a similar set into Kasumi's mind. (*This is Shampoo, a foreign warrior. She needs a friend and someone to look out for her in noncombat situations.*)  
  
It was due to the extreme hurry to find out what had happened to Ranma that Featherbrite hadn't anticipated the sort of problems that these two sets of instructions could cause in the future.  
  
In fact, by the time she remembered casting this spell again, the effects would have snowballed.(3)  
  
Shampoo smiled in her sleep. A friend. She had always wanted one of those. Mousse had always chased other potential friends away. With the exceptions of Rin Rin and Ran Ran. It could be nice.  
  
Kasumi looked down at her sleeping friend. She was needed, and this gave her some immediate fulfillment. Yes, she'd have to take care of this girl. Maybe some hot tea when she awoke.   
  
--------  
  
Dina hugged the tree. "Land, beautiful wonderful land!"  
  
"For someone whose ancestor was an internationally known 'sailin' man' - you don't seem to like the sea," observed Tigar. "Do you want me to sing his song?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
Vanilla nodded at this. "We should immediately try to find this 'Takeuchi' who knows so much of our current problems."  
  
Dina nodded. "That's right."  
  
"That way we can finish this quickly and efficiently and return to the ship," continued Vanilla.  
  
"Erk!" Dina's face managed to acquire a sort of pale green color at the thought.  
  
"No hurry, is there?" Tigar put in. After all, there was shopping to do and if she was out here she didn't have Elders yelling at her.  
  
Bane wasn't too thrilled with the idea of accomplishing the mission too fast either. "We have to hurry. To Azabu Juuban in Tokyo!"  
  
Shammi sighed. Maybe she could meet some cute guy around here. It couldn't hurt.  
  
Vanilla came up with another thought. If this was going to take awhile, then other preparations should be made. "Suppose we split up when we reach Tokyo. One team checks in with Shampoo and her new airen. The other team safeguards this writer woman. After team one makes contact, the two can rejoin but then we'll have local support for an extended stay."  
  
Sugar and Spice nodded. Sounded like a plan.  
  
"Okay, I know Japanese and something about Juuban." Bane was sure of it. If a menace occurred, sooner or later it would show up at the Tokyo Tower. Find that and you can find everything else. "So I'll lead the team to Juuban."  
  
Vanilla nodded. "Tigar is the best tracker. We have a better chance of finding Shampoo and her airen with Tigar's assistance."  
  
Shammi thought that if Shampoo's airen was a martial artist, there ought to be other martial artists around him. Therefore- "I'll go with Tigar and Vanilla."  
  
Sugar and Spice looked at each other. Spice shrugged. Sugar smirked. "Sounds like we're with Bane then."  
  
Dina pursed her lips. She didn't care, but... "Guess I'll go with the Juuban group."  
  
"Besides," Bane put in, "it's traditional for a Fellowship to break up into two forces before rejoining again to beat the main villain."  
  
Dina was rather blunt. "You're an idiot. You know that, don't you?"  
  
---------  
  
China  
  
Cologne set down her tea, ready for the explosion.  
  
"COLOGNE!"  
  
"Why hello, Mee Gar, lovely day isn't it?"  
  
"Don't you 'lovely day' ME, Elder! Why are my two daughters off on a mission to JAPAN! I leave for a few days and when I come back..." The swordmistress made a gesture to indicate something too large to simply point to one thing.  
  
"Mee Gar. Shut up. Sit down. Listen. Learn." Cologne glared at the younger Amazon, finally getting a measure of respect.  
  
Lilac passed the newcomer a cup of tea. "Now, dearie, I often disagree with Cologne but that's part of my duty as an irascible old Elder of the tribe. She *does* have some reasons for this particular group."  
  
"Oh?" Meager turned a questioning glance towards the Matriarch.  
  
"Two of them were not born of the tribe, but were adopted for one reason or another," Cologne said, sipping at her tea. While she had a number of differences between Lilac and herself, she would admit that Lilac was one of the better teamakers in the village.  
  
"Spice and Vanilla," said Meager. "Spice was the grandchild of an Amazon expatriate, while Vanilla was found as a child in the mountains near Jusenkyo."  
  
"Yes. Is this a taste of lemon in the tea, Lilac? Where did you get lemon in this season?"  
  
Lilac made a depreciating gesture but smiled. "Oh here and there. I have my sources."  
  
Meager was about ready to yell again when she caught Lilac's subtle shake of the head.   
  
"Hmmm. Then there's Shammi whose school of martial arts is not terribly well thought of among the more purist groups," suggested Cologne.  
  
"Though whenever something needs cleaned up, repaired, rebuilt, or there's cooking to be done - it *is* a handy system," pointed out Lilac. "Martial Arts Housekeeping *was* developed by women during the Unification period here in China by women whose menfolk had gone off to fight for Lu Bu and some of those other rowdies."  
  
Cologne harrumphed, being one of those purists. "In the case of all three, accomplishing this mission will prove that they are capable warriors despite certain factions."  
  
"That leaves my daughters and Bane and Dina." Meager pointed out.  
  
"Dina is... difficult." Cologne said politely. "She tends to overestimate her own abilities. Having to rely on others will help her in the long run. Bane (Bai Na) is the one who wanted to go in the first place. Sugar has a tendency to be too trusting and too nieve. Whereas Tigar is..."  
  
"Put it this way, it'll be the first time she hasn't gotten scolded by Cologne there since she could walk," said Lilac with a smirk.  
  
Meager couldn't argue with *that.*  
  
----------  
  
Japan:  
  
Mister Hisakawa, biology teacher, adjusted his belt and tried to get his attention back on his class. He was failing miserably.  
  
A few more photos had been added to his collection of Ranma-yousei. He had borrowed the Physics Department's high-speed camera and caught a number of shots of the flying martial artist. His friends in Tokyo University's faculty would be   
intrigued by his sudden interest in special effects, until they saw the wing sample he'd managed to get from the patient in the nurse's office while her "guardian" was occupied elsewhere.  
  
Once they actually saw this Ranma, well, Hisakawa still had some dreams. Being stuck at a minor Senior High School in a Tokyo suburb was not what he had planned for his future. Fame, fortune, girls, essays, girls, money, public recognition, wealth, the lecture circuit, girls, these were the things that were rightfully his and that he might yet claim. All he wanted was his due, that wasn't so bad, was it?  
  
A pity about the boy, but exploratories would have to be performed. What were the musculoskeletal connections for the wings like? Were the internal organs more suggestive of mammals, or was the insectile nature of the wings indicative of the internal anatomy?  
  
Hisakawa knew he couldn't count on much help among the faculty at Furinkan. The physics teacher, Keiko Nagai(4) would especially be against any of his plans. Nagai was planning on having Ranma carry a few instruments aloft on her next   
flight. Nagai wanted to explore how the faerie could make 90 degree turns at high speeds, or float weightlessly above the school. Nagai was already (having seen the reaction of metal to Ranma and paid for information from Nabiki) redesigning equipment to minimize the use of metal in the testing devices.  
  
Likewise Keiko Tomita was already waxing quite eloquently about crushing the competition from the other schools if she could get that flute player to sign up. Seeing the 4'10" Tomita laughing maniacally and talking about the utter   
humiliation and destruction of other High School's music programs had been quite amusing. One would never have guessed that she had taken the school's poor performance over the last six years so personally.  
  
Sighing to himself, and putting his dreams of the lecture circuit to the side, Hisakawa-sensei returned to the lecture of ATP to ADP and how muscles worked. The fire never left his eyes, however, with the thought that he might not have to do   
this again NEXT year.  
  
-------------------------  
  
Ranma awoke to find that he was a he again, and that he was alone in the Nurse's office. A quick check revealed that Nabiki's scent (an inexpensive but vaguely flowery-spicy perfume) was still fairly strong in the air.  
  
Bandages at wrist and neck covered the worst of the burns. Ranma could feel a small injury in his back, a gouge or something.   
  
Getting up proved to be somewhat more difficult. Years on the road had taught Ranma a number of things. The sensation of being poisoned was one of these and he gave both sets of burns a tentative label of poisonous. The act of catching   
certain black chains was filed under "things you want to avoid in the future."  
  
As the dizzy spell passed, Ranma got up and rinsed his face off in the sink, remembering at the last minute to let the water warm up before doing so.  
  
Sitting back down, he began the task of drawing ki from the environment into himself - speeding up his already quick recoveries from injuries. Necessary because the degree of burned tissue was enough that a normal person would likely be crippled by this.  
  
A tiny figure glowing and sending off sparks, shot into the room.  
  
----------  
  
Concern prompted a certain short-haired young girl to excuse herself from class early. As Keiko Nagai-sensei had her *own* concern about those events, and under the pretext of letting a fiancee check on her beloved's condition, the physics teacher promptly excused that particular student.  
  
Besides, there was betting going on. Third degree burns around the neck and hand, sufficient that many of those present were still in shock. The ones who were sufficiently unrattled enough to bet were betting on whether the injuries would be permanently crippling or not.  
  
Many of those, rattled or not, were of the opinion that the only reason Nabiki Tendo would go check on her fiance was to fix the odds properly.  
  
So it was that in the silence of nearly deserted halls, one Nabiki Tendo heard a voice talking before she entered the nurse's office.  
  
"So, cold iron is a BAD thing. What the heck is cold iron anyway?"  
  
Nabiki listened but couldn't hear another voice. She delayed her entry, wanting to know what she was stepping into before she got there. One of the differences between herself and her younger sister.  
  
"Iron that's been refined by other methods than heat? If you say so. It doesn't make much sense to me, though. I mean that stuff BURNED." Ranma's voice sounded tired. "Okay. What did you learn? Was that baka oyaji of mine telling the truth for once?"  
  
Nabiki crept up to the doorway and peered in. Ranma was sitting on the bed, addressing an empty chair. He was listening to it apparently, too. It wasn't so bad to talk to yourself, but having a dialogue with a chair. Bad.  
  
"He did WHAT?!" Ranma was incredulous. "Why did he do that? She seemed like a pretty nice girl."  
  
Nabiki blinked. Was Ranma talking to his "imaginary friend"? She couldn't see or hear anything but at this point wasn't completely willing to believe Genma was right about this. Too many other things had blown her mind lately. At this   
point, Nabiki thought that if she were to see a unicorn trotting through the streets of Nerima, she would probably just start a betting pool on whether it would find a virgin. Hopefully *before* it came up to her. She'd die of embarassment   
otherwise.  
  
"Nabiki-chan?" Ranma looked puzzled. Nabiki flattened herself against a wall and tried not to make any noise. Had he seen her?  
  
"She's my fiancee. My father and her father arranged it. She seems a bit cold and uncaring..." Ranma paused.  
  
Nabiki closed her eyes. Her image as the Ice Queen remained intact. Even when people had seen her reaching into a flame to pull the chains away from her iinazuke, they had merely supposed it was to protect a potential source of profit. She felt an ache in her chest that people thought *that* poorly of her. She'd maintained her "ice queen" "profit uber alles" image, necessary for some of the things she'd done. That it had escalated to this level was news, and unwelcome news at that.  
  
"...but that's just her defense against the world. She's walled off the world to keep from getting hurt, but there's a caring heart in there. I'm sure she can be nice and kind and warm when she's given half a chance."  
  
Nabiki's eyes weren't the only thing that opened in shock, her jaw was currently hanging loose. Her? The legendary mercenary Ice Queen of Furinkan?   
  
"Well, pops and Mister Tendo made some sort of arrangement that I'd marry one of Tendo's daughters. Family honor kind of thing, y'know. No, she's got two sisters. Actually, I'd like you to look at them and see if I'm interpreting their auras right."  
  
Nabiki's mind started to run on high speed. Auras? He was reading auras? (K-CHING!) This could be one heck of a business tool if she could learn how he did it. Just speculating on the uses during negotiations caused her to miss Ranma's next comment. She tuned back in when she heard Kasumi's name mentioned.  
  
A slightly longer pause, then Ranma started again. "Well, Kasumi looks like she could use a friend, someone to unburden herself on. She's sorta retreated from the world so it can't hurt her. Nabiki's erected walls of ice around herself, and is really into money as a method of control of her environment. Akane has a nasty temper that seems to relate violence to release. Underneath all that, all three seem to be really nice girls." Another pause. "At least that's what little I've been able to read from their auras."  
  
Another long pause. "Well, you did say that Sidhe faerie nature tends towards nurturer/healer as opposed to warrior. Look at my cursed form, I've got a lot more of that stuff in me than I thought. 'Sides, I can be good at more than one thing. Something else YOU taught me."  
  
"She's here?"  
  
"Candidate #3? Maybe..."   
  
Nabiki looked up, startled. That voice had not been heard with her ears. It had been a girl's voice, much higher and softer than Ranma's cursed form's voice.  
  
She caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of her eye, but couldn't see anything when she turned her head.  
  
Nabiki had always taken pride on her mind. One of the things she'd always felt was that the three daughters Tendo had a different focus, and that hers was the intellect whereas Akane was more freely emotional and Kasumi more spiritual.(1)  
  
(Over the last three days, Nabiki felt that she was on an emotional rollercoaster that would have given Akane a run for her money.)  
  
Nabiki took a deep breath. What if Genma had lied? Since he'd come across as quite sincere, he would have had to be lying to himself as well, but she didn't think that was beyond his abilities. He was a much more accomplished liar than Ranma, that was for certain.  
  
Nabiki looked at this dispassionately. Ranma had demonstrated magic, had demonstrated skills that his father didn't have and actively discounted the values of. The father also had no idea where Ranma had picked up these skills. Therefore, Nabiki decided that she was faced with one of two possibilities. One, Genma had been lying about no tutors and Ranma had been coached in music and magic (among other things) during his training journey. Two, his "imaginary friend" was not imaginary.  
  
The first of these Nabiki decided was the most likely but unsatisfactory for several reasons. The outright contempt that Ranma's father had for those musical talents especially was quite apparent. The other was impossible.  
  
That particular word was something that Nabiki felt considerably less certain of after the past two days.  
  
Nabiki's eyes flicked to the doorway of the nurse's office. Ranma was leaning out of it to look at her in concern. She found she... rather liked that. Not that she wasn't quite capable of looking after herself, but that someone besides Kasumi was concerned for her well-being. It gave her one of those warm and fuzzy feelings, which had been one of those concepts that had eluded her for many years.  
  
Nabiki's mind continued to churn over the possibility that faerie were real. Science taught that one came up with an idea, tried to find evidence for or against, and thereby prove the theory. How to determine the validity of this theory, that was the crux.   
  
"Featherbrite says your mind's all a-tangle," Ranma's voice interrupted her train of thought. "She wants to know if you really want to know. A wise man once said that most people would choose a comfortable lie over an uncomfortable truth."  
  
Nabiki frowned. Mind-reading? She was most uncomfortable with that notion, unless (of course) she was the one doing it. Still... "Yeah, Saotome. I don't back down from a challenge either." Nabiki tried to sound flippant but didn't quite make it. "I'll accept the truth."  
  
There was a sudden feeling of warmth and a laugh like little bells ringing.  
  
Nabiki blinked. That was *her* body over there, she was looking through Ranma's eyes! Perched on her own head was...  
  
A laughing six-inch tall woman with wings that resembled the wings of Ranma's cursed form. The pixie stopped laughing long enough to say something that sounded like "Candidate number three!" The little figure looked extremely pleased with this declaration.  
  
The dislocation ended and Nabiki carefully brought her own hand up to where she'd seen the figure from the vision. She frowned as her hand just didn't seem to want to go where she wanted it to.  
  
The thought that there may be a lot of things going on all around her that she couldn't perceive was intolerable to Nabiki. She WOULD find a way to get past this. There was also the thought of what it would be like to have an invisibility like this, the secrets she could uncover...  
  
She WOULD learn how this was done.  
  
"Brite," Ranma said in a quiet voice, "what exactly did you mean by 'candidate #3' and why do I have a bad feeling about this?"  
  
Nabiki wanted to know that herself, but felt she had enough on her plate for now.  
  
-------  
  
Unsidhe:  
  
"Gammon."  
  
"Yes, my liege." The skeletal knight dropped to one knee. Among the UnSidhe court, the more powerful and the more ruthless dominated everything else. Not showing obeisance had better have good reason.  
  
"I have heard something interesting muttered on the wind," Golderon paused. "In the Mortal Realm where you have recently been active. A sylph has weathered the touch of cold iron."  
  
"Impossible," began Gammon, then thought better of it, "coming from any but you, my lord. A sylph is not of Earth nor Fire, but of Air. Cold Iron should disrupt her energies immediately."  
  
"Cold Iron is poisonous to most of our kind," admitted Golderon. "Of the seven elements - Light, Dark, Wood, Air, and Water - find metals painful and Cold Iron to be a most deadly poison. Earth finds Cold Iron distasteful. Fire can cope with the metal - given time. Yet the wind speaks of riddles. A mortal faerie? Essences combined? A sylph who has been wrapped in Cold Iron - yet even now recovers? Strange is it not?"  
  
"Most strange my liege."  
  
"It is not the nature of most UnSidhe to be subtle. To hide and to make mischief, to feed on the hates and terrors of mortals, to show off their inherent superiority through magic. Yes. Do you have someone capable of spying, yet powerful enough that if this sylph be found - can bring her here for further investigation?"  
  
Gammon considered. "I have one who might do, my lord. One who was long interested in the Mortal Realm and who informed me of the vampire."  
  
"Good. Use that resource then." Golderon hadn't looked at Gammon during this interview, though his attention hadn't been far from his subordinate. Now his full attention wandered, feeling to the General as if a heat beam had moved past and was focussed elsewhere now. "Strange. The Mortal Realm has always been a land of little consequence with natives who were entirely playtoys for the UnSidhe. It has never been worth attention before. Perhaps that too should change."  
  
--------  
  
Japan  
  
Genma moved a piece on the shogi board and tried to ignore the purple haired Amazon having an animated conversation with Kasumi in the kitchen. He'd thought he'd seen the last of the girl. "Curses, foiled again!"  
  
"What was that, Saotome?"   
  
"Oh, nothing, Tendo." Genma frowned, this was not going anywhere near according to The Plan. The only positive point in this was that from the discussion, it sounded like dinner tonight would be quite spectacular.  
  
"So, Saotome, your son plays the flute." Soun's opinion mirrored that of his friend. Time spent on such useless pursuits detracted from the Art. However, as Soun had not gone through years of frustration, he wasn't nearly as negative about these other skills. "He can cook, and he has some...odd techniques."  
  
Genma nodded. "Such a disappointment. I had such hopes for him. He refuses to STEAL, Tendo! Even when we were training hard on the road, and we could have stolen food and run away like WE did in the old days. Boy has no priorities."  
  
"Hardly the training we went through, eh, Saotome? Still, he appears to be a skilled martial artist despite such a lack of focus." Soun moved his own piece. That the future husband of one of his daughters had more moral character than his old friend Genma wasn't nearly as much of a downside for him as it was for Genma. A good husband for one of his daughters didn't sound like an entirely bad thing. Still, whatever you could say about it, Happosai's training HAD been effective.  
  
"His skills, pah! Pretty pathetic, if you ask me." Genma made an off-handed gesture that tried to encompass years of failed efforts regarding his training of Ranma. Years of frustration where Fate herself seemed to mess with the vast majority of Genma's plans. "Why, the boy has no killer instinct. He doesn't duck work, he refuses to lie most of the time, talks to an imaginary friend, won't steal, and makes references to a Code Of Honor. Truly, Tendo, I don't know where I failed."  
  
Soun glanced up from the board, sarcasm lightly inserting itself in his words. "Well, if he's that bad, maybe we should consider annulling this engagement. He clearly isn't a worthy heir to the founder of our school." Clearly Genma was so   
upset about all this he wasn't even paying attention to all the pieces Soun was moving.  
  
Genma sighed. "It's tempting, but he's still one of the best I've seen. I think the problem started when he got too close to a gi... I mean a boy named Ukyou. It got progressively worse as time went on. Especially after the failure at the   
Catfist training."  
  
"Catfist? The legendary Nekoken?"  
  
Genma nodded again. "The same. The training is deceptively simple. Wrap the young trainee in fish sausages, then throw them into a pit of starving cats. I did it when the boy was ten, as I wanted him to get over the imaginary friend stage before putting him through this."  
  
Soun was aware that the two girls had stopped talking. Probably just busy with preparations. "So, was it effective?"  
  
"No," Genma studied the board. How had he put himself in such an indefensible position? "Like many of my plans, it failed due to unforeseen events. Unfortunately, the manual's next page warns that it tends to leave the trainee permanently insane as a result. I didn't stop the training in time, obviously."  
  
"Ah, hence the imaginary friend and insistence that he's working magic and not merely manipulating chi." Soun frowned a bit. Maybe insanity was in the Saotome line, the father for using such a training method.   
  
"That and the boy's ailurophobia."  
  
-------------------  
  
"Big sister Kasumi, does mean what I think it mean?" Shampoo whispered from they were listening to the conversation.  
  
"No, Shampoo, it means that he's afraid of cats." Kasumi smiled at the young Amazon. It was amazing how well they got along, yet were so different from each other. Kasumi realized that their differences were complimentary, however. That was   
probably it.  
  
"Aiyaa. That no so bad. Shampoo worried for moment."(2) After all, she was already going to get even with Ranma's father for one thing. She had to make sure she was running up the tab correctly.  
  
--------  
  
Unaware of the whispering in the kitchen, or that Ranma's dislike of cats hardly counted as a fear, Genma continued. "It's truly terrible, Soun, but my son is nearly worthless. Maybe one of your daughters can be the True Heir?"  
  
"A girl, the Heir? I think not, Saotome. Though Akane is quite skilled, would she have gone through what we did? Would she have made the same sacrifices for the Art?"  
  
"Hmm. Probably not." Genma thought about this. "Of course, if one of them gives us a grandson early..."  
  
"It'll be a chance for us to raise a child to be the True Heir of Anything Goes," Soun nodded. "I can't really see Akane going along with this. Underneath all the violence, she tends to adopt stray animals and is quite kind-hearted. Kasumi would never agree to the sort of deal your wife did. Nabiki..."  
  
"I've heard Akane speak of her as a heartless mercenary. If that's just not typical sibling sniping, would she sell her own child if you give her enough money?" Genma grinned. "A woman after my own heart."  
  
-----------  
  
Nabiki sneezed and shuddered. "Damn, I hope I'm not catching a cold. Sneezing and sudden chills..."  
  
==========  
  
(1)- For the most part, as always, Anime continuity. The catfist training was   
pushed back from five to ten due to Ranma's perceived mental state. In the   
manga, however, Kasumi is seen several times wearing a cross. As she doesn't   
appear to wear jewelry for other reasons, there is a distinct possibility of her   
wearing it due to a religious belief. This is the basis of the "Closet Catholic   
Kasumi" concept. Certainly her obliviousness could be a deeply spiritual nature,   
not focussing on material concepts.   
  
(2)- Fill in the blank however you want.   
  
---------  
  
Kuno put the tape into the machine and pressed play. The Video Club had been putting together tapes of Akane fighting the morning group with the result that Tatewaki Kuno had bought a few of the tapes himself. They didn't gouge him nearly to the extent that Nabiki did.  
  
This had been going on for some time. Nabiki's candid shots and the Video Club's films were all of great value to the noble Blue Thunder.  
  
There was Akane and her usual fight sequence. Such ferocity, such grace! There was Kuno's own entrance, flawless as usual.   
  
If he postured a little for the camera, well it was his right and privledge, was it not? The joining of the Tendo and Kuno lines, two proud lines of noble samurai blood. What could be more natural? And Akane was the very essence of that proud samurai heritage. No doubt when he had tamed the falcon to accept her jesses, she would make a fitting bride for one such as himself.  
  
Then there was this...Saotome person...who had DARED suggest that he was engaged to one of the Tendo daughters and living under the same roof as Akane Tendo!  
  
There had been rumors about Nabiki being the one engaged to this Saotome Ranma, but Kuno well knew that there was only one of the Tendo daughters worth courting. That this base knave was getting closer to Akane Tendo under false pretenses made the situation even more intolerable.  
  
Rather than let this travesty continue, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High attacked this interloper. Like smoke, the target of his righteous wrath evaded the blows that should have taught the cur the error of his ways.  
  
Being worthy of his Samurai ancestry, Kuno would not admit defeat. He knew his skill was supreme. His weapon, the bokken, reflected the finest sword design ever produced in the world- the katana. Since it was impossible for him to be defeated by other means, Saotome MUST have used the black arts.  
  
Or so ran his thoughts usually. Normally his train of thought ran with all the fabled precision of the Japanese rail system. Today it was running more like Amtrak, and the events of the morning were the cause.  
  
Kuno continued to watch as the tape cut to the next series of images, taken from this very morning's events. The crowds ready to pounce upon the fair Akane Tendo in what had become a ritual combat. The normal events fell to the wayside as an   
airborne arrival served to disrupt the very events that Kuno had proclaimed necessary. He watched Nabiki arrive in the arms of the pigtailed sprite, as she shot down from the sky in time to do her usual mercenary work.   
  
Kuno continued to watch, though he didn't want to see this. The Video Club member was quite skilled, Kuno noted. Well worth the price he had paid. The video had tightened on the winged girl, showing the flames and other details that Kuno had dreaded seeing. He saw the image of himself throw the chain, the flames erupting where it touched the skin.  
  
There had been many that morning who had been quite ill from just the sight and smell of the burns.  
  
Today something monumental had occurred. He had made a mistake. The old folk tales of putting horseshoes and nails over windows and doorways to keep the faerie folk away DID have a basis in fact, as he had thought. Instead of containment, though, the use of cold iron had produced a rather different result than he had expected.  
  
The old stories and myths were often contradictory, and it appeared that some of those were rather more accurate than others. Cold iron was a poison to the faerie folk, but did not instantly slay them as SOME accounts had held. Kuno was   
still trying to determine if that had indeed been the case.  
  
In trying to capture the beautiful young winged maid, he had quite possibly destroyed her. He had not seen the girl since then. Nor was anyone willing to talk to him on the subject. Even Nabiki, who would normally sell information on ANYTHING given enough yen, had merely shot him a disgusted look and departed. Worse, she had gone to check on her fiance who had somehow become injured that very morning. Ranma Saotome actually *was* engaged to Nabiki Tendo. How anyone could pursue that soulless moneylender when they could pursue Akane was beyond Tatewaki Kuno's grasp. Or, as it appeared, it was the soulless moneylender who was pursuing Saotome.  
  
Had he been wrong somehow about them? Misled through no fault of his own, of course!  
  
This brought Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High School, the rising star of the Kendo world, to an entirely unfamiliar activity.  
  
He was thinking. More, he was considering that if, indeed, he had made one such grievous error...  
  
Might he not have made others? And, if this all but unthinkable event WERE true, was it not the duty of a samurai to correct those errors? To right any injustices that he may have (however unlikely) committed?  
  
Which would make him even more perfect, of course, but that was a burden he could well shoulder.  
  
----------------  
  
"Nihao, Ranma!" Shampoo flew (not literally) out of the house to perform a near perfect example of the Amazon Glomp(tm) upon an unsuspecting Ranma. His gasp of pain was enough to tell her that this wasn't really a good thing to do.  
  
"Who is this, Ranma?" Nabiki's voice went cold. Wasn't he HER iinazuke? Then, of course, she realized that she wasn't really supposed to care. After all, it was her father's arrangement. Nothing SHE really wanted, after all.  
  
"Urk." Ranma managed, wincing.   
  
"Looks like she knows him really well," Akane was torn between being angry at Ranma tolerating this girl's hug, enjoying seeing her sister with boy troubles, and some sympathy for how pale Ranma had gone when the girl had put pressure on the bandages on his neck.   
  
The skin didn't look black and blistered anymore, but that still looked like it hurt. Akane was actually surprised that Ranma was still mobile after that sort of injury, trained martial artist or not. The skin had been blackened and cracked and smoking even after the chain had been removed. To Nabiki's disappointment, injuries in one form carried over to the other form.  
  
Featherbrite merely sighed. None of the girls here could see or hear her normally. She could try a mental link in order to communicate, but mortals had funny ideas about things like that. Especially Ranma, for some reason. Maybe he'd never forgiven her for the "Man Among Men" thing...  
  
"Uhm, Miss..." Nabiki paused as she noticed the color her iinazuke was turning. Maybe he _wasn't_ doing this deliberately. The way his eyes rolled up in his head was a definite clue.  
  
"Aiyaaa." Shampoo felt the groom collapse. "This no good. Husband lose strength somehow?"  
  
"Husband?" Nabiki spoke the word in such a way that one could readily imagine ice crystals forming in mid-air.  
  
"Husband?" Akane smiled. Now there was proof of what she had suspected all along. He *was* a pervert. Now this stone-age engagement nonsense would be ended.  
  
"Girl's at least got taste," Featherbrite noted, even though only Ranma, Shampoo, and the recent arrival of Kasumi could see and hear her. "Honestly, have things changed that much since Sultan Whatshisname?"(2)  
  
"Oh, Shampoo, you might want to let them get ready for an early dinner."  
  
"Ah! Big sister Kasumi is right!" Shampoo began dragging Ranma into the house. "Airen eat much, get strength back fast!"  
  
"Oh, and Shampoo," Kasumi held up a hand. "By our laws, he isn't your husband yet. He's also got that engagement to Nabiki."  
  
Shampoo nodded. "Which one Nabiki?"  
  
"I'm Nabiki." Nabiki grabbed Ranma away from Shampoo. "What do you mean 'husband'?"  
  
"What do you mean 'big sister'?" Akane wanted to know.  
  
"Shampoo, Nabiki is my sister. Promise me you won't hurt her." Kasumi's voice was firm and there was a long moment of silence.  
  
Shampoo looked from Kasumi to Nabiki and back again. "Shampoo promise. Shampoo no kill sister of Kasumi. Shampoo show appreciation by washing friend's sister's hair with special shampoo?"  
  
"Why that would be quite nice, Shampoo." Kasumi nodded happily.  
  
--------------  
  
In a recording studio, a manager smirked at the nerve of some high school girl sending him a tape of flute music. It wasn't like he didn't receive dozens of tapes from would be singers and starlets all hoping to make their big break.  
  
He idly put the thing in, preparing to eject it a moment later and toss it in the pile with all the idol singer wannabe tapes.  
  
Five minutes later he was still standing there.  
  
Ten minutes after having put in the tape there was a small crowd listening in the office.  
  
It was just a flute with some odd percussion. That was all. No singing. No sappy lyrics with the occasional English phrase thrown in for coolness factor. No modern backbeat, techno flair, hip hop music scratching. Just the flute and what sounded like percussion from thumping on roof tiles.  
  
The tape went to the hiss that indicated the rest of it was unrecorded.  
  
"...by all the kami..."   
  
Nobody was quite sure who had spoken to break the spell, only that-  
  
only that cynical hardbitten executives and workers, who had seen the production and choreographed rise and fall of the interchangable and disposable musicians of the mass production industry, had just encountered something with the power to touch their very souls.  
  
"There is no way in the Buddha's hells we can market this," said the manager eventually. He knew what sold - what sold was light and cute and imminently forgettable. The Japanese pop market was an exactly tailored one and mysterious flute music that somehow snaked past the numbing drudgery of day to day existence and spoke of light and life and...  
  
There were many nods to that. People were used to mediocrity. They demanded it. The eye and ear candy of the moment, the popular disposable culture. This was not that.  
  
"Make me a copy," said a secretary.  
  
Mumbles of assent.  
  
No, they couldn't release *this* commercially.   
  
This would, however, go into their private collections. Never to be spoken of again among strangers. *This* was special.  
  
-------------  
  
Tokyo University was many things to many people. To some - the goal set since youth. To others - merely a step along the way. To still others - a prey field.  
  
"Hisakawa's really flipped out this time."   
  
"What? That loser?" Kuniko made a depreciating gesture. "What's he got this time, did he sight Gojira? Mermaids?"  
  
"A sylph," Isao fed the tape into the machine. "Even sent a tissue sample."  
  
"Yeah, right. I always knew ol' Buzzard Face would flip out." Kuniko blew a smoke ring towards the ceiling. "He's scum, you know."  
  
"Everyone has to have their dreams." Isao Nusumu hit play. "Even if..."  
  
"The special effects are pretty good," conceded Kuniko Kumo. "I didn't know he was into that sort of thing."  
  
"He isn't." Isao watched the tape as camera angles switched and another scene played. "Look at how jerky he is with camera. That's Hisakawa's all-thumbs work all right. I think we need to go to Nerima."  
  
"You're serious?" At Isao's nod, Kuniko's eyes went to slits. "And if this is for real?"  
  
"We'll cut Hisakawa out of the loop before he knows what's hit him. Why let him drag the rest of us down when THIS could set us up nicely for years to come?"  
  
Kuniko and Isao grinned at that, each visualizing how they could use this sort of thing to further their own agendas. Of course, each would betray the other as soon as the opportunity arose.  
  
Honor among thieves only applied to the more organized varieties. With everyone else it was feed or be fed upon.  
  
---------  
  
The two fathers sat at one end of the table. Ranma and Nabiki were at the other end. Akane, Kasumi, and Shampoo listened in on the sidelines.  
  
Genma pushed his glasses back up his nose, looking as stern and fatherly as he could manage. "How to begin?"  
  
"So what is this big news bulletin?" Nabiki was openly suspicious. She'd had to deal with her father's bizarre schemes before. From "Get Rich Quick" scams to "magic potions" sold by kids in the neighborhood, Nabiki had wondered when she was younger if her father had some "Gullible" sign marked on his forehead.  
  
Soun crossed his arms in front of his chest and regarded the two children directly in front of them. "Now that Shampoo will be staying here, there will be some changes in the sleeping arrangements."  
  
"She is NOT staying in my room," Akane glared at everyone trying to find someone who would disagree. She wanted it clear at the beginning that this was not negotiable. She didn't want any more weirdness in her life than she already got.  
  
"Shampoo can stay in big-sister Kasumi's room or in room with airen. Is no big deal." Shampoo smiled and nodded her head politely. Either was acceptable for her.  
  
"Which is not fair to Kasumi," smoothly interjected Soun Tendo. "So, Ranma, you will move into Nabiki's room as well."  
  
"Hey, I'm already sleeping with Pop in the room!"  
  
Genma looked disapprovingly at his son. "Show some gratitude, boy! We've been sharing the same tents and campsites for ten years! It's high time I exercised my rights as your father and got a little privacy!"  
  
"Privacy! What about Nabiki? What about HER privacy?"  
  
Nabiki nodded. The whole thing smelled of one of her father's schemes. She valued her privacy, though with vampires running around she also valued the protection value having Ranma at hand would provide. Now if she could just figure out why the phrase "Ranma at hand" brought a brief blush to her face.  
  
Genma adjusted his glasses again. "That's not a concern, boy. Just show some gratitude for once and listen to your father on this."  
  
"You ARE a guest here, you know," Soun reminded Ranma of the cultural obligations of a guest in a Japanese home.  
  
Kasumi spoke from where she stood. "Father, are you really sure that this is the best idea? I don't mind having Shampoo share my room. We also have another guest room."  
  
"Shampoo can stay in the other guest room. There is no reason for you to burden yourself unnecessarily, Kasumi. As for Ranma, you needn't worry about him. I'm sure he'll be a perfect gentleman. Besides, he and Nabiki are already engaged to   
be married. It is only right that they learn to live together in harmony. Sharing space is a big step in that direction." Soun nodded and looked thoughtful as if this was all just occurring to him.  
  
"A *brilliant* solution, Tendo," chimed in Genma.  
  
"Thank you, Saotome," said Soun with a nod of the head.  
  
"Oh man," Ranma rubbed his forehead as if he had a headache. "Couldn't I just sleep in the living room or the dojo or something?"  
  
Soun looked as if he was going to manifest his demon head at any moment. "WHAT!? And have someone cluttering up my home like a vagrant? That is absolutely out of the question. Appearances are vitally important to the future of the Anything   
Goes school."  
  
Nabiki folded her arms and gave her own stern look towards her father. "Actually, daddy, if appearances are what concern you, consider what it looks like to have me share my room with a boy." She was NOT happy about this.  
  
Soun and Genma spoke in an eerie unison. "That's why we'll pretend he's just a girl!"  
  
"Excuse me?" Ranma blinked. Just the chorus indicated that they had rehearsed this. If so, they were pretty well set in their course.  
  
"What?" Nabiki felt like facefaulting. She came to the same conclusion as Ranma.  
  
"Oh my."  
  
"Yeah, right," Akane offered, "and pigs will fly."   
  
"Everyone speak slower. Shampoo not finding all words fast enough!" Shampoo was flipping frantically through her translation dictionary. "Vagrant?"  
  
Genma ignored the amazon. "That's right. He'll just have to stay in girl form for the evenings. That way there's no question of modesty."  
  
Nabiki facefaulted, noting that she had beaten Ranma to it by several seconds.  
  
Much later:  
  
"Are you sure about this, Saotome?"  
  
Genma leaned forward. "Trust me, Tendo. The boy hates being a girl for any length of time. He'll soon disobey us. And when your daughter finds she has a handsome young man sleeping in her room..."  
  
Soun grinned. "We let nature take its course! Oh, my friend, this will work. Then we'll have grandchildren and you can train one to be the True Heir of the Anything Goes fighting style. What a grand day."  
  
Genma nodded with a satisfied smirk. "It's Soun and Genma's 'Operation Shacking Up'!"  
  
Shampoo edged away from the roof. It was as she had expected. Now, how to foil the plot? She might just have to wash that man right out of someone's hair after all.  
  
-------------  
  
(1)- As Nabiki stated earlier, these are Third Degree Burns. It has been stated that Ranma has had worse. The neck and one wrist were completely wrapped. So figure that's about two inches surface coverage of both areas. He didn't faint from the pain, he went into shock. This is a pretty severe trauma. I'm not exaggerating about the sort of reactions you get on these kind of injuries. The smell kinda lingers too. Even with Ranma's recuperative powers, the poisonous effects are gonna keep   
him a little woozy.  
  
(2)- Featherbrite's lived a long time (12,000 years) and has seen a lot of human history (9,500 of those years, usually at the outskirts) during that time. She couldn't tell you who the ruler was, but his harem had such delightful gossip... She'd probably drive any number of historians nuts. But then, so would Nathan.  
  
  
  
OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE  
  
"Uhm, he hasn't been done as a prospective father, has he?"  
  
"No, I'll admit that," agreed the dragon. "But then we haven't seen Ranma raised by Peter Pan for that matter. Doesn't mean I want to see it."  
  
"Actually that was done," said Exe. "It was disqualified because he never came back and met the Tendos, just stayed a Lost Boy with the Lost Boy. Hibiki, I mean."  
  
"Well, what about it then?" Com asked.  
  
-----------  
  
WHAT IF NATHAN BRAZIL RAISED RANMA?  
  
-------  
  
The ship was drifting with the current, and *might* have been dismissed as abandoned.  
  
The smell of barbequed shrimp would have indicated that abandoned was not necessarily applicable. The radio playing a corroboration of that fact. Nobody was visible on deck, however.  
  
"Are you sure about this, Nabiki?"   
  
Nabiki fixed her gaze on her father coldly. "You wanted me to find 'Ranma Saotome'. You paid the bills accumulated during the search. You listened to the report I compiled."  
  
"Yes, well, my old friend Genma may have committed some poor judgements, but that's besides the point. He *is* a guest and I would thank all three of my daughters to remember that fact!" Soun wasn't happy about the treatment his old friend had been getting of late.  
  
Kasumi looked disapproving but held her tongue. Genma had shown up a few years ago, telling a tale of evil gypsies stealing his son away. Once Nabiki had started the process of uncovering where his son had gone, more and more details of what had actually occurred had been unearthed.  
  
Torture. Theft. Engagements made and broken. The pit of cats. Insanity. Given into the care of a Doctor Mizuno in Juuban, with another engagement made as promise of reimbursement, followed by stealing the child back and breaking another promise. Finally a deal with a ship captain named Nathan Brazil, and a failure to steal the child back.  
  
Akane glared at the portly fellow throwing a grappel across to link the ships. She didn't like boys. Not at all. That didn't mean that torturing kids sat well with her either.  
  
Nabiki finally relented, wanting to see this through. "There's the ship name - Twilight II. A small 'fishing vessel' registered to Nathan Brazil of New Caledonia."  
  
"Then where's the crew?"  
  
*clik-KRAK*  
  
Nabiki, Akane, and Kasumi had all seen "action" movies and knew what particular sound was.  
  
"Keep your hands in plain sight, no sudden moves." The voice was young but not particularly amused.  
  
The three girls complied immediately and slowly looked up. Where each of them could *swear* nobody had been a moment ago, there was a tall young man standing on a section of mast. He also had a gun in his hands. Nabiki could have identified it as a some kind of submachine gun, but was currently unable to get her mouth working.  
  
"Are you Ranma Saotome?" Soun asked the youth, moving to the rail nearest the other ship, knowing that was a gun and therefore this was not a true martial artist.  
  
"Maybe," said the boy, looking decidedly unhappy. "Might of heard of him."  
  
"He's supposed to be on this boat," said Akane, estimating her ability to jump from one boat to the other, cross the intervening yardage, climb up the mast, and take that gun away from the boy before he could shoot her. None. Nil. Nada. Zip. The Big Goose Egg.  
  
"Don't know anything about that," said the boy. "All I know is, I gotta ship with three girls and two old guys come pulling up to my ship and start making accusations."  
  
"You're Ranma," realized Nabiki.  
  
"If you're here about some engagement, bills yer owed, or something like that, git going." The boy with the gun made a slight gesture with it. "You got some other kinda message, I might know how to relay it."  
  
Soun started forward again, he could leap the rail and be on the other boat. A gunshot chewed up the rail in front of him.  
  
"I don't see any reason for you five to get involved, yer pilot there's put up a white flag anyway."  
  
Flinches and the group turned to see that the pilot whose boat they'd rented had a hankerchief on a pole.  
  
Genma saw one chance. "Demon Vaccuum Blade!"  
  
The mast exploded as the chi attack shredded a section. Genma rushed forward to subdue his wayward son.  
  
*Pum!*  
  
Genma slowed down considerably as bullets slammed into his leg and turned bone to fragments. Genma started screaming.  
  
"That was dumb," said the boy, landing lightly on the deck. "Impressive, but dumb. I don't know who you are. I don't know where you came from. I don't care. I'd suggest you get pudgy there to a hospital before he goes into shock."  
  
--------  
  
"Well, *that* went well," said Akane, her voice dripping with sarcasm. At least with Genma Saotome under sedation they wouldn't be having to deal with his blubbering alternated with blustering for awhile.  
  
"Daddy, you have to keep in mind that Ranma has been raised mainly in international waters and not in what we could call polite society," explained Nabiki. "He's used to hanging around with roughnecks. I told you going in that it would be better to wait until he came into a Japanese port even if it took a few years."  
  
"...but to wait years..." Soun began.   
  
"It would be better than getting your head blown off," said Nabiki. "I'm not sure what kind of gun that was. Maybe a custom made. He managed to hit Mister Saotome while he was falling and Saotome was going at a full run, and precisely targetted the right knee with a burst. Three shots from a .45 caliber *machine gun*. Saotome will need that knee to be completely reconstructed at this point. We got off *lucky* because he apparently decided we weren't a credible threat even with whatever happened to that mast."  
  
"...but..."  
  
"Coming alongside and forcefully trying to board his vessel in international waters without some form of legal authority? That's piracy, Daddy. The plan was to come alongside, maintain a distance, and *talk*, remember?"  
  
"...but..."  
  
"Daddy, when a guy points a large firearm in your direction and tells you to move, you don't go arguing with him!" Nabiki rolled her eyes. "I don't see where the honor agreement is going to make a lot of difference to him. He's not a casual killer - or none of us would be here now. However he's not going to be someone you can browbeat into taking over the dojo."  
  
"...but..."  
  
"I don't see why we need some guy to take over the dojo anyway," said Akane reasonably.  
  
Soun seemed to lose himself in thought for a few moments. "It looks like I'll have to go to Plan 2."  
  
"Plan 2?" Nabiki didn't like this. "What 'Plan 2'? If it's a worse idea than 'Plan 1' I don't want to even think about how bad it is."  
  
--------  
  
"I hate it when I'm right," grumbled Nabiki seventeen hours later. "Great going, Daddy."  
  
"...b-b-but they seemed like such nice pirates!" Soun wailed from his cell down the hallway.  
  
Nabiki decided that she really ought to investigate her family tree better. She could *not* be related to that man. "Kasumi, is Akane conscious now?"   
  
"She's still unconscious," came the reply. "They weren't very gentle."  
  
"They're slavers, Kasumi. They don't put up with the merchandise trying to start a fight." Nabiki sat back on the cold metal of her floor and wondered what next they'd do. Probably do their best to break them. Well, there had to be some way out of this prison and she'd find it!  
  
------------  
  
The boy looked down in the cells and thought for a minute. "Oh. You're those pirates from earlier. Have a falling out?"  
  
The girl didn't answer. Her head had come up to look at him, but her eyes were blank.   
  
Ranma debated briefly. On the one hand, he'd have no problem killing pirates. Problem was, that group hadn't struck him as being experienced enough or adventuresome enough to be pirates. They *had* tried to illegal board and attack him. On the other hand, most of 'em had just given up without a struggle. Still, he couldn't let people who *might* be innocent suffer, could he?  
  
The others he found and likewise freed. Oddly enough there was no sign of the two older guys.  
  
----------  
  
Soun Tendo continued swimming. Ah, it brought back memories. They'd thought chaining his arms and forcing him to walk the plank would kill him.  
  
Fat chance. This was just a refreshing swim compared to some of the things the Master had put him through.  
  
He'd bring back friends and rescue his little girls and then he'd *never* set foot on a ship again.  
  
--------  
  
Ranma had quickly determined what had happened to the girls. Any guilt he'd felt about killing all those guys on the ship had quickly vanished. Not that there had been much in the first place. Looting their little ship had just been sauce for the goose.  
  
They hadn't been sexually violated. Too much money for virgins probably.   
  
However, they *had* been "prepped" for work. All three were so strung out from drugs that it'd take a week just to get them lucid again.  
  
Ranma wasn't happy. This wasn't how he wanted to spend his time. Now he was involved though. Oh well.  
  
Once they were "dry" again he'd be able to turn them loose without any longterm effects.  
  
-----------  
  
Nabiki twitched as the boy came by the improvised cell. "Dinner already?"  
  
"Nah. You haven't been as much trouble as that one sister of yours, so you get some time on the deck today." Ranma opened the door and gestured to the stairs. "That older sister of yours already got her sunning and stuff in. That younger one's still clamoring for the juice."  
  
"Akane is... self-indulgent," admitted Nabiki. The craving didn't seem as strong as it had been. The knowledge of the opiates and where that lifestyle led, plus that they'd only had three days of the injections, were enough to strengthen her resolve.   
  
The sunlight outside was almost blinding after her confinement and the fresh air was enough for her to hang over the railing and dry retch until she got used to both.  
  
Seeing one other item set out drove all other thoughts out of her head. A shower?!  
  
"It's a good thing it's just you two, after your sister used it we'll run out of water soon."   
  
Nabiki realized she had stripped and was fiercely scrubbing even as she realized that the boy was still watching. A glance revealed nothing hentai, he was barely watching her. That concern eliminated, she went back to scrubbing, occasionally pulling the cord to wash off the suds as another layer of grime came off.  
  
"Fresh clothes over there," indicated Ranma. "Just another old pair of boxers and an old t-shirt, but I figured you wouldn't want to put the old one back on."  
  
Nabiki shuddered at that thought. Another glance towards her newest captor, this time with gratitude.  
  
"We'll be setting into port near Kobe in two days. Just a small dock near one of the local parks. I can let you and your sisters off there and be gone before you can reach a phone. By then all three of ya ought to be over the effects. There was an opiate and some other stuff they used. Had to consult with one of my contacts. Nasty stuff. You've probably figured out some of the more permanent side effects."  
  
Nabiki winced. "I thought they were temporary."  
  
"Nope." Ranma picked up a book by a strap and waved it at her. "Made sure I had gloves on when I was reading this. It's in Chinese. They made yer father walk the plank. You three were gonna be sold as prostitutes after ya were 'hooked'. Some of the other stuff was to help ya get trained. Nasty people you decided to hire. Hope ya learned not to trust people like that. There's a dark and nasty underside to the world, and yer better off not getting too chummy with it. I'll leave the book with ya, if you file some report ya might be able to get someone to listen if ya got evidence. That'll help that sister of yours get further treatment and not just arrested."  
  
Nabiki nodded, still dealing with the horror.  
  
"Yer young yet, you'll get better," said Ranma. "The ones who did this are all dead. That don't mean there's not even bigger fish out there, cause there is. Just a little advice. Go home, get over this little adventure, and count yourself lucky."  
  
--------------  
  
It took Ranma three years after that before he visited Japan again. It was a big world and he wanted to see most of it. His father, Nathan, kept in contact every so often - and off they'd go on another adventure dealing with some problem or just kicking back with a few six-packs and enjoying some exotic locale.  
  
It wasn't a lifestyle that'd suit everyone, but it offered a measure of freedom darn few had.  
  
He'd almost forgotten the girls and those two stupid guys.  
  
He'd only been in port a day when a familiar-looking woman showed up at the berth, looking over his old battered fishing vessel and raising an eyebrow at the new scars on the paint.  
  
"Well, hello, again."   
  
===END=== 


	5. Chapter 5

"Ah, a long hot soak. One of the few redeeming things of civilization." -Garnn, barbarian  
  
"Is Shampoo's turn to fire wave motion gun. Akane already have her turn." Shampoo, A Very Scary Bet.  
  
Featherbrite's Tale, a Ranma 1/2 Alteredverse fic by Gregg Sharp with helpful bits by White Pheonix and Kender_Sci.  
  
5: Arrested? No. Captured!  
OR... Shampoo the Vampire Slayer  
  
DISCLAIMER: Ranma 1/2 characters by R.Takahashi. Nathan Brazil by Jack Chalker. Flying Dutchman, Sidhe, UnSidhe, Oberon, Titania, Faerie Realms, vampires, hot baths, and Yngvi by various other people. Naoko Takeuchi by Mr and Mrs Takeuchi. Vanilla by G.Ikari because frankly she deserved a better ending. Artwork for various original characters can be found at www.mediaminer.org or at Larry F's excellent fanfic site "Library Of Florestica"  
  
-------  
  
Ranma sat back and enjoyed the simple luxury of a hot soak. Rinsing had put him in yousei form, which he hated for its alien appearance and attendent sex change. (Though he _would_ admit that the flight stuff and enhanced senses were cool. Well, maybe hated was too strong a word. Disliked.) The hot water had instantly restored both gender and species, and was welcome for other reasons.  
  
For much of his life, bathing had been done in lakes or streams, or an old oil barrel at best. It was a simple pleasure, allowing one's aches and pains to slowly ebb, muscles to relax, and nerves to unfrazzle in the steaming hot water. This, an actual furo or soaking tub, was something that Ranma felt he could get used to.  
  
He didn't have much respite tonight, though. He knew that at some time during the night there would be another attack by the vampire. Having tasted Akane's blood once, the vampire would return again to sample the same prey and increase his influence on her. If he did so three times, Akane would die and rise three nights later as a vampire herself.  
  
At which point she'd be the slave of the vampire who created her and essentially be an addict constantly searching for her "fix" - blood. Preferably the blood of innocents. Some who walked that path could resist and satisfy themselves with animal blood and the occasional quick bite of human blood but not take so much that they would kill the donor.  
  
There were further preparations still to be made to greet the vampire. Now, however, Ranma could spend a few moments in quiet appreciation of a long hot soak.  
  
The moment was broken as the door slid open.  
  
"OH my!" Kasumi blushed and covered herself with a towel. Oddly enough she didn't look away.  
  
"Shampoo agree with friend Kasumi." Shampoo covered her eyes, the effect being somewhat spoiled by her spreading her fingers a moment later.  
  
"Mine!" Nabiki's reaction was so intense it was almost violent. This brought a stare from Kasumi and Shampoo.  
  
Ranma lowered himself further into the water and wondered if he could possibly learn invisibility. Featherbrite seemed to think he could do it.  
  
Featherbrite, having flipped the "Occupied" sign earlier, thought it was only fair for the Candidates to get a good look at what faerie magic, good genes, and a good diet while growing up could do.(1)  
  
"A man among men, indeed," snickered the faerie. With a rather lighter heart, Featherbrite turned her attention to her own preparations for the upcoming battle.  
  
Shampoo and two others watched as Ranma pulled a towel out of nowhere and vacated the tub.  
  
Kasumi thought that it was impolite to stare, but somehow just couldn't bring herself to look away. She put it down to concern about him slipping and falling on the way out, yes that was it.  
  
"Why big sister Kasumi shred towel like that?"  
  
"Oh my?"  
  
--------  
  
"Here's where we part company," said Vanilla, the wind whipping her hair in what would be a fairly dramatic visual if she actually cared about such things. She stood on the precipice of a roof, looking out into the sunset.  
  
"I didn't know you read Japanese," replied Bane, also not caring about dramatic moments as she was eating a granola bar at the moment.   
  
"I didn't. I'm learning though, and some kanji is the same in either language." Vanilla pointed to the North. "That way lies their 'tenth district' and the eventual goal."  
  
"How do you know for sure that Shampoo and her airen aren't in Juuban?" asked Dina.  
  
"I know. Scent wrong." Tigar snorted. "Though I swear this place is as bad as some swamps I've gone through. Yecchh. How can they breathe this junk every day?"  
  
"Scent wrong? What do you mean scent wrong?" Dina railed against the stupid little singer.  
  
"I mean the wind's mainly blowing from the West. Shampoo uses that shampoo that Bai Ying makes specially for her. It has a distinctive combination of smells. There was a brief scent of that earlier. From the West." Tigar yawned. "Worse her airen puts out some distinctive smells of his own. I got a good whiff of him at the tournament. Definitely West. So the two are together and that way."  
  
"Yeah, right," Dina was openly skeptical.  
  
Tigar shrugged. She didn't care if Dina believed her or not. She'd already switched Dina's "Spirit Catcher Jar" for a pickle jar she'd picked up on that ship. The Nichieju rocker just wanted to spend some time having fun, who the heck needed this crap?  
  
--------  
  
China:  
  
Cologne smoked her pipe and looked out over the destruction. She could admit she'd fallen into the same trap as some of the others. The first few opponents had been weak. Normal weapons had hurt them and ki attacks could finish them off.  
  
Looking at the trail of rubble that marked the path of the latest attacker, Cologne didn't need to tell anyone that THAT had been a General.  
  
Going back to one of the manga that had been left behind by Bane, it was easy to see now. There were the weak little energy gatherers, there were the more powerful soldiers represented by those butterfly girls, then there were the Generals.  
  
The skeletal knight had slashed and hacked and burned. Torrents of red flame or crimson lightning had come from the twin swords that he brandished. Amazons had been injured, but due to their numeric advantage and ability to provide covering fire - no lives had been lost.  
  
The youma general had batted aside ki blasts as if they were nothing. The hiryu shoten ha, the bakusai tenketsu, the amaguri-ken, the splitting cat's hair - as soon as they used a manuever it had been sundered by the juggernaut in their midst. Then upon reaching the center of the village, it had stopped.  
  
"I thought there were some worthy opponents here. I was wrong. I thought that Ranma Saotome might have left something here, or counted you as his allies. I was wrong. You are too weak. Too pathetic. Not one of you can stand against us when our armies raze your world to a lifeless cinder. Just a bunch of silly girls playing at being fighters. Pfeh. You are nothing we need to concern ourselves with."  
  
The Amazons of Nichieju had heard this speech. Given all the while it was batting arrows out of the air.   
  
The attitude of the Amazons was that they had fought and fought hard, and this particular youma had barely noticed. Another group might have slunk off in defeat.  
  
Cologne watched the barricades and new defensive fortifications being built. Siege weapons from out of ancient European texts were being fashioned. Tactics discussed. Traps designed.  
  
And lots of Amazons trying to get the rest of the manga series to look for weak points.  
  
Being defeated was one thing. Being defeated by a genderless being another. Having the genderless being stand around insulting them was cause for war!  
  
----------------  
  
Gammon snarled. Difficult when you don't have any flesh, but he managed it somehow.  
  
Yngvi decided the skeletal knight was *not* calming down and maybe he should do something about it.  
  
"They weren't even taking the fight seriously!"   
  
Yngvi blinked, all eight eyes. "They didn't take *you* seriously, Your Awfulness?"  
  
"NO!" The skeletal knight was sufficiently peeved that he had red lightning flaring from the corners of his eye sockets. "Half of them were reading some sort of picture books even whilst I brought their stupid village down around their heads! I crushed their outer walls and they were using pathetic *chi* attacks. Even after I used my sword to ground out chi effects they wouldn't bring out their big guns."  
  
Yngvi blinked again, scratching idly with a hindleg at a speck of dust on one of his rearmost eyes. Chi was kind of like earth magic wasn't it? "Uhm. That doesn't seem right."  
  
Gammon's reply was short, brutal, and venomous. Yngvi, however, was a louse and therefore good at dodging such things.  
  
Yngvi tried the most simple explanation, since even faerie used Occam's razor. They just called it something else. "Could it have been some sort of books on magic, or perhaps treatises on strategy?"  
  
Gammon calmed slightly. "Perhaps. They scuttled away nearly with your own skill, skulker. If that had been the case I made threats and insulted them to draw out what potent magics they might have to better gauge them. I had a Contingency Teleport prepared. Instead they just cowered in their holes. They are not worthy of consideration of further action."  
  
"Perhaps if their books were stolen," suggested Yngvi.  
  
Gammon chortled. "Oh yes, that would do nicely, I think. See to it Yngvi!"  
  
"ME?!" Yngvi yelped. "What about a shadow creature or a lurking horror or something more appropriate to a mission of this caliber?"  
  
"You may be right, a shadow creature would be more capable." Gammon considered it. Yngvi had his amusement value, those warrior women might actually be able to hurt him. Which wouldn't get him those books. Besides, if those women were that interested in them, just stealing those things would annoy them. "Find one, I shall show it the image of these books. We shall see if that bestirs these warriors to show their hidden skills."  
  
----  
  
A few hours later, Ranma-yousei was sleeping. The poor boy had been exhausted by some ritual he'd prepared that (he hoped) would weaken the vampire and keep him from shifting forms while inside the house.   
  
Nabiki was glad that the sylph didn't snore at least. She, however, wasn't able to sleep just yet. Having a boy (even if he was a she at the time) sleeping THAT close was... distracting.  
  
Maybe it had been the earlier scene in the furo. Maybe it was just she wasn't used to having a nightlight.  
  
Ranma's faerie form put out a slight glow. It was only noticeable during periods of great stress, or like now where there was no other source of light. A slight sparkly glimmering that shifted continually in hue and brightness- reflecting Ranma's emotional state.  
  
"This has GOT to go," Nabiki muttered at the ceiling. Pink and purple flickering answered her quiet comment. "Great. Just great." More multicolored flickering shifted with each syllable. Nabiki was vaguely reminded of that foreign movie "Close Encounters" by the odd color shifts.  
  
A little smile crossed Nabiki's face. Annoying, but also amusing in a way. "I really value my privacy, Saotome. Just wanted you to know, I'm REALLY beginning to resent your presence." The colors flickered to a more dark blue. "You also smell, you know that? Sort of a baked cinnamon. Men are _not_ supposed to smell like baked goods. I'd noticed that earlier. I can tell what mood you're in by the scent." The colors had faded down to violet.  
  
"Well, maybe I'm not resenting your presence *that* much." Nabiki watched colors flicker and tried to relax for a moment. "Though that cinnamon smell is making me hungry. I just wish I knew what to do about you. You act so damn nice one minute, then you do something just totally weird the next."  
  
"Nabiki?"  
  
Nabiki turned her head slightly to look at the figure standing on the edge of her bed. "How come I can see you?"  
  
"You're in the state between awake and asleep, the twilight between reality and dream. You're open to a lot of things you wouldn't be normally." Featherbrite walked up to the girl's shoulder and sat down.  
  
"I don't get it, but okay." Nabiki filed the information away for later retrieval. "What's the deal with cold iron, anyway? The old stories conflict about the effects and don't go into why."  
  
"I'm not sure. The faerie way is to accept things, not to do as you humans do and concern yourselves with the why." Featherbrite sighed. "I think it's like this tamed lightning that you humans have come to use."  
  
"Electricity?" Nabiki yawned as she started thinking about this. Grounding effect? Magnetic fields? "Can you turn off the nightlight effect at least?"  
  
"Oh, Ranma's glow? He won't have it in his uncursed form." Featherbrite looked into the young girl's eyes. Practiced eyes took in the details of the mortal girl's aura and came to conclusions. "Do you want to sleep? I can help you there."  
  
"Of course I want to sleep. I've got school tomorr..." Nabiki's eyes abruptly closed and she slept.  
  
Featherbrite smiled and walked up to the girl's head. "Sweet dreams," the faerie said. It was a promise.(2)  
  
Nabiki's lips curled up in a little smile as she dreamed.  
  
---------  
  
Shadows darkened and moved.  
  
It was a shadow creature. Not an undead, but a Fae. An UnSidhe that came from the border with Makai.  
  
Shadowy talons reached forward and developed the consistency of water. Books began disappearing into that darkness.  
  
These women were warriors who were looking for a solid physical menace. Half their nation could have been slaughtered by the time that an alarm would have been raised. Half that remainder gone before they figured out a defense.  
  
That was not the mission, however. Nor was it the normal inclination of the shadow.  
  
Even though it was an UnSidhe, it was not in the nature of shadow to kill by itself. Conceal, yes. Frighten, yes. Work with others who were more predatory - definitely.  
  
The reason that mortals feared the dark is because there was nasty stuff in it often enough that fearing it became a survival trait.  
  
Books vanished if they met the definitions that had been described. The shadow creature didn't care, it just wanted to get back to lurking.   
  
The beast took the books to the location indicated and dumped its heavy burden. Then stuck a tendril back to its original task. Lurking and watching for signs of some sylph.  
  
It noticed the appearance of something else, but it was not the sylph and so wasn't of interest at present.   
  
------------  
  
All of those attuned to the magic awoke when the first set of wards were brushed aside.  
  
Featherbrite settled onto Ranma's shoulder and lightly touched his mind, adding her own sensory input. That sometime during the night he had shifted back to male form was noted, and he sensed that the little faerie had had something to do with it.  
  
As Featherbrite's perceptions added to his own, the darkened room seemed to suddenly come into color. A pale yellowy glow surrounded the softly murmurring Nabiki, and the various tertiary wards had a fitful white flickering around them.  
  
Ranma snuck towards Akane's room, where the attack would begin, stopping only long enough to open Kasumi's door.   
  
Shampoo and Kasumi were already awake, Kasumi in her plain cotton nightgown and Shampoo wearing something more practical for a fight.  
  
Sounds of a window being opened reached Ranma. "Now."  
  
Ranma opened the door, interrupting an attempt to give the entranced Akane a hickey that would do more than break the skin. His opening remark was a flying front kick.  
  
Akane dropped as the vampire turned his attention to the newest victim. The shock was enough to bring her to full wakefulness. Her reaction to seeing a slavering, fanged, middle-aged European businessman fighting Ranma in her room at midnight was about what one would expect.  
  
Her scream got everyone up but Nabiki.  
  
Nabiki merely put her head under her pillow and mumbled something about ice cubes and ostrich feathers. Ranma's name came up a couple of times.(3)  
  
"Oh...my..." Kasumi managed to say, holding her cross to bar passage into the rest of the house. Watching over Shampoo's shoulder the scene of Ranma fighting a vampire in Akane's room, she couldn't believe she'd ever thought that younger men were boring.   
  
Shampoo stood guard in front of Kasumi. She knew the plan. She also knew that no plan ever survived contact with the enemy.   
  
"What's going on..." Genma saw the vampire, remembered Akane throwing him down the stairs the previous night, and decided to leave this fight to the boy. About time Ranma stood on his own two feet anyway.  
  
Soun saw one of his daughters being menaced by a vampire and started to squeeze past Kasumi. He would not allow this to continue. Of course, he knocked aside the cross she was holding, breaking the barrier to the rest of the house. Thereby proving Shampoo's point about battles not allowing a plan to survive.  
  
Featherbrite took the opportunity afforded her by Ranma's battle and sat on Akane's head. Magic flowed like a stream from the faerie to the young girl.   
  
Vladimir was unused to this level of interference, but wasn't letting any of the cattle get in the way of his plans. Unfortunately, the martial artist didn't seem inclined to stand still and let the vampire get to business. "Slave, attack." Let the girl take some of the heat off of him.  
  
Akane watched but didn't hear the command. Featherbrite had turned off the sound. Akane saw everything going on, but couldn't move even if she could hear the command.  
  
A vicious backhand with a vampire's supernatural strength managed to throw Soun Tendo the length of the room, his demon head attack just beginning to form. He slumped and went still.  
  
Vladimir finally managed to grasp the young man whose harmless blows had proved such a distraction. One hand was enough to hold this worthless creature up and would be enough to crush his neck in front of his family. Then Vladimir could find the faerie and gain the power needed to avenge himself against Dmitri.  
  
"Shampoo want to know if she can cut in?" Shampoo ducked under another swing from the vampire, to come up behind him. She moved.  
  
Vladimir looked down at his chest noting that there appeared to be a wooden practice sword sticking out of it.  
  
"Technically, Shampoo, that doesn't qualify as a 'cut' at all. More of a thrust." Kasumi smiled at her friend. It was so nice that she was getting the chance to vent some of her violent impulses.  
  
"Oh," Shampoo stepped back and regarded the impaled vampire. "Shampoo think maybe big sister Kasumi is right. Think vampire get point anyway. Just moment please."   
  
Ranma thumped to the ground, feeling that his neck had taken WAY too much abuse today. Even with the healing he'd been able to do by tying into the ki flows.  
  
"Kasumi please to look other way briefly?" Shampoo smiled at her "big sister" who was almost like the mother she'd never had. Such a nice girl.  
  
Vladimir dropped to his knees, trying to push the wooden sword out of his chest. He was too close, he couldn't be stopped NOW. He wasn't some lame beginning vampire who could be instantly made inert this way, he could still win!  
  
A Chinese sword made a whispering noise as it cut through the air. "Shampoo have to thank Razor. He very good weaponsmith, put good edge on sword. Even if he a very weird male, he know his business." A thump punctuated her statement.  
  
"Shampoo. Why?" Kasumi blinked, puzzled over her friend's actions but grateful there was no blood to mess up the floor.  
  
Shampoo began cleaning her sword and smiled at her big sister's confusion. "Ah, Kasumi not know? Shampoo know how deal with vampires. First have to use stake or wood through heart. Then have to cut off vampire head. Then leave head and body out for sun. When turn to ash must use running water to flush ashes or throw in sea. Then, very important, must celebrate three nights later to honor ancestors and spirits who help bring victory."  
  
"Oh, a party?" Kasumi nodded to indicate she understood. She'd have to go shopping.  
  
"You...saved me." Akane looked at the Amazon with a completely different viewpoint. "He...he would have..."   
  
Shampoo nodded and smiled. After all, she had just proven that she was a thoroughly kick-butt Amazon warrior who had the tools and the talent. She was feeling every inch the champion. Hah, let the rest of her village know that Shampoo was now entitled to have the title Vampire Slayer. Shampoo the Vampire Slayer, she rather liked the sound of that.  
  
"And I thought you were just a stupid violent bimbo," Akane murmurred. Judging from her broken Japanese and bouncy breasts mainly.  
  
Shampoo frowned and took out her Japanese-Chinese dictionary. "Just when Shampoo think she getting hang of language..."  
  
"It's not important, Shampoo," Kasumi quickly covered. Akane was just feeling a bit free with her tongue after having just escaped being a vampiric slave. No reason to spoil the moment. "Come on, Featherbrite can put wards around the head and body."  
  
"You are NOT leaving that in my room, are you?" Akane swallowed hard, turning a pleading gaze from one person to the next. She was supposed to trust her safety to Ranma's imaginary friend? "C'mon. Kasumi? Shampoo? Please? Can't I sleep with one of you guys tonight? Ranma?"  
  
Downstairs, Genma was draining his third bottle. He had *not* seen what he'd thought he'd seen. It had to have been a hallucination, so there was nothing to get worked up about. Ranma could *not* have been fighting some snarling fanged guy with glowing red eyes in Akane's bedroom. Absolutely not.  
  
Lots of sake helped. Years of denial gave him a lot of practice. Hard enough to accept a Chinese curse that turned him into a panda and his son into a winged daughter. Vampires could *not* really exist, just myth and superstition.  
  
Had Ranma been making advances on Akane? Yeah, that was it, and she'd been fighting him off. If this thing with Nabiki didn't go off as planned, they could try for a few illegitimate children on the side. The lines would still be joined and the mother wouldn't mind shoving an embarrassment off on a long training journey.  
  
Genma would have found Soun and explained the sake-granted insight, except that the sake was finally having the intended effect. He would wake up in the morning with a rather severe hangover and only fuzzy recollections of the night.  
  
Besides, Soun Tendo was still unconscious himself, though Shampoo and Kasumi had carried him off to his own bed where he'd be more comfortable. At least more comfortable there than imbedded in the wall he'd impacted.  
  
In her room, Nabiki was smiling and mumbling something about whipped cream and strawberries.  
  
Ranma glanced over at Nabiki as he prepared for bed. He hadn't known that she liked strawberries. Maybe he ought to pick her up some as a peacekeeping gesture, after all she couldn't be happy about these living arrangements.  
  
Shampoo stared at the ceiling on her futon, listening to Akane on HER futon. Kasumi kept her bed. Life in Japan was so different from the village. A warrior's life was hard, because an Amazon had to be tough and ready to fight for everything. Her eyes caught the frills and lace around her friend's bed. If she dressed more like Nabiki or Kasumi would Ranma pay more   
attention to her?  
  
Featherbrite checked on Nabiki, and wondered at some of the strangeness the girl was dreaming of. Well, the ostrich feathers weren't THAT bizarre, she'd heard of that back in that Sultan's harem. After a moment's deliberation, she decided that she ought to see if Kasumi or Shampoo had the same sort of reaction. Maybe it was some Japanese thing...  
  
==================  
  
(1) Featherbrite has been listening to washerwomen, harem girls, and other gossips for centuries. Does she want her friend to suffer from these complained about lacks or being substandard? No! She therefore used magic to correct these perceived inefficiencies/problems during Ranma's development. If you need more details and still do not understand, you are too young for that information. This note is because some people still don't get it.  
  
(2) This is just Featherbrite using magic that causes her to fall asleep and ensures pleasant dreams. Everything else is supplied by Nabiki.  
  
As to the morality of Featherbrite engaging even in such minor mind control, her morality is of an alien nature. She doesn't "get" humans, even with her years of experience.  
  
(3) Don't ask. See also note #2 above.  
  
  
Gammon puzzled. Why had those warrior women been interested in *this* crap?  
  
Flipping forward, he checked the section that the translation spells flagged as an address. "Kokul."  
  
A large form of scythe blades and wings scuttled forward.  
  
"Kokul, go here. Find this writer." Gammon thought aloud. "The author must have some connection to these warriors. Perhaps she is one of their number who is abroad. Find her. Bring me her head. Not the rest of the body, the head will do. I can bespell it later in order to ask questions of it. Now go."  
  
Kokul folded his twelve legs under him and rose on his jeweled wings. The chance for mayhem and slaughter on the Mortal Plane had been given him, and he would not let it pass.  
  
Gammon continued to consider. Magical maids fighting evil menaces from beyond? Perhaps it was some sort of code, or prophesies, or...  
  
------------  
  
Nerima:  
  
Nabiki woke up, stretched, and realized she felt GOOD. Fully awake, fully energized, and ready to take on the world (or at least Furinkan.) Also somewhat ravenous and not entirely sure WHAT had happened last night.  
  
There was a sleeping Ranma over there, in male form. From the look of things, he'd been in a fight last night.  
  
"Oh no, Akane!" Nabiki hurried to her youngest sister's room. Akane wasn't there, but there *was* Shampoo sweeping up what appeared to be some sort of black dust.  
  
Shampoo spotted the pajama clad girl and wiped the scowl from her face. "Nihao, Na-bi-ki. Shampoo just cleaning up here. You have good sleep with airen?"   
  
Certain details of certain dreams came back to Nabiki. She blushed. "Y-yes. We...I slept fine."  
  
There was a snapping noise and Shampoo noted that the broomstick she had been holding had somehow broken. "Oops. Shampoo not know how that happen."(1)  
  
Nabiki nodded absently and left the Amazon to the cleanup, wondering briefly at the intensity of the dreams she had experienced the previous night. She also completely missed the look Shampoo shot at her.  
  
Ranma passed her on the stairs as he headed for the kitchen. The sound of Kasumi happily humming was briefly interrupted by Ranma's request for food.  
  
Nabiki glanced into Kasumi's room and noted that Akane was sprawled out over a futon and snoring. She wouldn't admit how relieved that made her feel.  
  
Genma's room had the odor of liquor emanating from it, as well as the annoying smell of damp panda.  
  
Nabiki shook her head. She'd get the details later. Right now she had to get ready for school, and it looked like getting a ride from Ranma would be out of the question for today.  
  
----------------  
  
Hikaru Gosunkugi was torn. He could collect a few hair samples, maybe a piece of wing, and he was sure he could use the faerie magic to make Akane love him. He knew that they would then be happy together. Well, maybe.(2)  
  
Instead, there was a problem. It was easy to overhear conversations when almost everyone ignored your existence. Such as the conversation between Hisakawa-sensei and certain others.  
  
He could warn Ranma, and try to get the boy to change to his yousei form so that he could get those ingredients as repayment. Alternatively, Gosunkugi could see himself just waiting for the rescue attempt and then capturing the pixie.  
  
He could see the faerie, and he knew what that meant. He, Hikaru Gosunkugi, had magic in his blood. That he finally had some confirmation of what he had always felt to be the case had done wonders for his self-esteem.  
  
Now if he could just figure out what to do.  
  
-----------  
  
Mister Osa got up to lower the blinds so they could begin work. "P&Q Angels" was not doing nearly as well as hoped.   
  
The sounds of shattering glass and insane chittering brought the rest of the staff. Upon looking in, they noticed their manager hiding under a desk, and that there was something with a vague resemblence to a twelve limbed, nine foot long, Japanese beetle trying to scuttle into the opening that used to have a window in it.  
  
"Mortal kine, your flesh - I'll dine," said Kokul. "But first, I thirst. Takeuchi Naoko my target will be, while I deal with her, some may yet flee."  
  
They were Japanese. Stoic in the face of personal hardship. Strong of character. Faced with personal painful death, they remained resolute.  
  
Roughly a quarter of them pointed at one woman. Those that didn't were already running.  
  
"EEEEEK!" That woman was having some problems getting to that professional level of detachment. "I'm just a manga artist!"  
  
Two sets of serrated mandibles opened, leaking greenish fluid to spatter the floor.  
  
"NOT SO FAST!"  
  
The remaining office workers, a manager, and a manga artist all looked towards this new proclamation.  
  
For Naoko, this was particularly familiar. She had penned enough scenes just like this for the deja vu to be darn near palpable.  
  
A girl stepped out of the shadows, wearing a Chinese banner dress but having exchanged her Shampoo-esque hairstyle for two ridiculous odango balls and ponytails because she felt that meeting this author with such a hairstyle would help put her at ease.  
  
Instead, all of the humans took two steps back because there was a short blonde girl with wide blue eyes in a Chinese banner dress and a hairstyle straight out of "Sailor Moon" there. With a spear that was longer than she was tall and had what looked like very sharp edges.  
  
Also a somewhat pudgy girl with a crossbow. An extremely cute girl with a sword. And a sexy Hindu girl with a bo staff.  
  
The girl pointed at the obviously-a-youma (with her spear, she *was* an Amazon after all) and knew what her lines had to be. She had read everything that she had been able to mail order, after all. "You who seek evil in a place where art is practiced, you cannot be forgiven! I am Bane of the Nichieju, and you will be punished!" Unfortunately her accent was so thick that most of those present only got parts of it.  
  
Kokul's mandibles clashed. Because of the translation spell (it really wouldn't do to show up and make demands and threats if your targets were incapable of understanding your language), his comments *were* comprehensible to both the Japanese and the Chinese. "I am here for the one known as Takeuchi. Die with her or flee."  
  
Some of the remaining Japanese realized this was their cue.  
  
Dina rolled to the side, expecting an attack, her crossbow sang and she reached for her other weapon - a long strip of cloth.  
  
The crossbow bolt vanished in a spray of slivers from the UnSidhe's back. Spice stepped forward in a practiced manuever, her staff moving in a noisy blur to deflect the projectiles.  
  
Sugar and Bane stepped to the sides, each ready to step in with their own attacks.  
  
Spice used the second half of her manuever. Mousse was the Master Of Hidden Weapons - whereby he could hide a profusion of weapons on his body or under his robes. Spice was the practitioner of Trick Weapons. Everything she had on her person, from her comb to her panties, held a concealed weapon or special trick she could use in a fight. She grounded her staff and triggered the charge that released a jet of flame (one shot stream of lighter fluid) towards the "youma".  
  
Kokul wasn't too concerned with the weapons. It resembled superficially a giant flea and had a thick carapace. Fire, on the other hand, could cause some serious pain. It flinched, momentarily forgetting that it was still in the window. When beginning to slide backwards, it naturally lunged forward.  
  
"Badger Slash!" Sugar struck, the air pressure from her sword enough to slice carpeting as the main force slashed through thickly armored limbs. Partly though this was because she slashed at joints. Hey, she might be cute and perky, but she *did* know something about swordwork.  
  
Another limb was slashed through by Dina's use of the Iron Cloth manuever.  
  
Spear slashed in through opened mandibles into more tender flesh. The giant twelve (nine now) limbed flea fell out the window.  
  
"Consider yourself punished," called Bane out after the flea. She turned and posed. She knew this line too. Tigar often tried to get American movies and she'd seen one with a good line for cases like this. "We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!"  
  
"Everybody left while we fought the monster," observed Dina. "Are we done now? Can we go get a hamburger or something, or do they have those in this goddess-forsaken place?"  
  
-------------  
  
"Cologne, Lilac! Our picture books are missing! One of the trackers say they saw a shadowy creature stealing them at night!"  
  
"That first 'youma' did threaten to take those books away during his attack," pointed out Lilac as she handed a fresh cup of tea to her Matriarch.  
  
"Hmm, they must be more important than we thought. I can't think of a reason to deny them to us if we couldn't gain some knowledge from them of how to beat these monsters. Send a party to Hong kong! Find a distributor!" Cologne's eyes narrowed. If only there were some allies they could pull in, but the only one she could think of that wasn't just a legend was Phoenix Mountain. The Herbal Village had joined them after they were attacked by one of those tentacle monsters already but things were beginning to get threatening at this rate. "Azure! Contact the Jusenkyo Guide. Make sure he and his daughter are all right. See if he knows of anyone we can contact for reinforcements."  
  
"Okey dokey!" (Trip! THUD!)  
  
Cologne winced. No, Azure was not the one to send to Jusenkyo. "Azure. Instead of going yourself, just see if Hibiscus is free and can come see us as soon as possible, hmmm?"  
  
------------  
  
"Fooey," Bane said. "I was hoping to at least talk to her."  
  
"Well, we've *got* to talk to her, just to see what she knows." Sugar opened the door to the stairs. The entire idea of a metal box where you were completely unable to see things around you, while being moved up and down, especially while you were fighting Things From Another World had struck the Juuban Team as being yet another idiotic contrivance the big city people saddled themselves with.  
  
Spice was always one to look for hidden angles. "The youma was looking for her. Therefore there *is* a connection here."  
  
"Hmmm. Big Flea didn't die," pointed out Bane. "See, there's the impact crater. Looks like another leg left behind but there's not a big splat area."  
  
"That means he's got eight left," pointed out Spice.  
  
"That one youma turned to dust, maybe this one did," Dina said hopefully. "OOOOOH! Look! There's hope for this mission yet!"  
  
The other three Amazons looked out the window, trying to spot what Dina had seen.  
  
"See there! They got hamburgers!"  
  
"Oh. 'Ma cu ra do ru no shi'," read Spice. "Never heard of it. Looks kinda like a McDonalds."  
  
"You suppose they've got Coca-cola?" Sugar asked. "I haven't had any since I was eight."  
  
"Probably changed the flavor. Damn Japanese," Dina grumbled.  
  
--------  
  
"Shampoo is taking the ashes to the harbor to dispose of them." Kasumi smiled at her sister. "Ranma's out training. Nabiki wanted to get to school early today. Father and Mister Saotome are both still asleep today."  
  
Akane nodded. She'd wanted to thank Shampoo. She found herself with an entirely new appreciation for the Amazon. The bouncy girl with the kawaii voice that spoke in pidgin had proven herself a capable warrior. The two times she had made an attack it had been with grace and strength. The bokken had been thrust at a precise angle so that it had missed Ranma yet had   
gone straight through the heart of the vampire.  
  
Each blow had been precise, with no wasted movements. Akane had reviewed the scene several times in her mind and had come to one inescapable conclusion. Shampoo would be a MUCH better friend than an enemy.  
  
Ranma hadn't been bad either. He'd risked his life to distract the vampire so that Shampoo could strike the killing blow. Certainly, even with his fast healing, being hauled up by the neck like that HAD to have hurt. Even though it *was* his fault for drawing the vampire in the first place.  
  
Akane brightened. She could show her appreciation for both of them by making them cookies! From overhearing Shampoo talking to Kasumi, Akane knew that her home village was a little on the primitive side. She'd probably never had homemade cookies before. As for Ranma, being dragged all over Japan and China, he probably hadn't had them very often himself.  
  
Akane smiled. Just as soon as she got home from school, she'd be sure to whip up a couple of batches of cookies.  
  
---------  
  
Shampoo glided over the ocean, briefly wishing that she'd gotten a *flying* ability. Ah well, what she *had* gotten was quite nice.  
  
She couldn't wait to see her Grandmother's face. Shampoo giggled as she spread the ashes, then looped back.  
  
She was an Amazon Princess after all. All Princesses had to have grace. She'd been told it was in the rules somewhere.  
  
Yes, things were looking up for Shampoo. She had to admit it.  
  
Okay, her fiance was a little weird and she *still* hadn't been able to give the Kiss Of Marriage. Something always seemed to pop up, and right now there were other considerations.  
  
Still, being able to glide on wind currents? Having this nifty little powerup? A friend like Kasumi? The chance to kill a vampire without even resorting to this form?  
  
Shampoo landed on the pier, ignoring the way the workers stared at her. Let them. In fact, Shampoo decided to give them something to really talk about.   
  
She flipped the container that had held the ashes up into the air and summoned her faerie-granted power. "COLD RINSE!"  
  
The blast of icy water so like the mountain streams of home tossed the little box up and back into the waters where it quickly sank from view. Shampoo continued to grin as she left for her new home away from home.  
  
She'd transform back, but a little extra gliding seemed the perfect way to get the morning going, didn't it?  
  
-----------------  
  
"So why not just run a quick Snatch job," the thug said as he straightened his jacket. "Just go in real quick, beat the snot outta the girl, then throw her in the back of a van and off we go. Happens alla time." He spoke from experience, having done this several times in the past year himself.  
  
Isao sighed. He chose to let one of his other associates talk to the Talent.  
  
"Because, my strong but slow friend," Yotsuya spoke in his usual smarmy tone. "The girl in question is actually a boy martial artist of considerable speed and talent with a shapeshifting curse."  
  
Unari considered that, at least as well as he was able. "I thought she was some kinda fairy..."  
  
"The girl indeed has both human and faerie characteristics," Yotsuya agreed. "While your own skills make you invaluable to our grandfather in the Yakuza, the girl has...other qualities our associate wishes to study."  
  
Unari nodded. He still didn't understand why they didn't just run a Snatch but understood that they had a reason for doing it another way.  
  
Yotsuya watched the big man go off to join the other low-level thugs. "I'm ashamed to actually have kinship with such clods."  
  
"You know what they say," Isao remarked. He raised the binoculars to watch the house. "You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your... family."  
  
Yotsuya shrugged. That was certainly something the oyabun might agree with.   
  
Isao grinned. That had given him an idea. "Leave one man behind to monitor, we've got a couple of errands to run, boys."  
  
----  
  
Kasumi blinked as they came up to an unremarkable area in between two old trees. She couldn't see why this place was special.  
  
"Pardon me, but are you sure about this? Why here?" Nabiki felt very uncomfortable. Her big sister was focussing in on an apparently empty space. Shampoo had shown up wearing a *seifuku* and apparently able to glide on the winds. Now they were out in the middle of Ichi-koo Park (which had been a construction supply company last week.)  
  
Shampoo looked around. "This area feel different but Shampoo not sure what mean."  
  
Featherbrite flicked from one of the girls to the next, then began the tricky part.  
  
Nabiki drew in a startled breath as sparkling motes of light shot around all three of them, a technicolor comet whose tail grew longer as it continued to move.  
  
A circle, Nabiki realized, the tail of the "comet" would lengthen to the point where the head would catch it in a few seconds.  
  
Shampoo nodded, knowing now what was to come.  
  
Kasumi merely waited patiently. How nice. A faerie ring.  
  
The comet became a circle then faded. The wind whipped through the empty area in Ichi-koo Park.  
  
--------  
  
"(You shall not bar my way!)" Shammi drew her nunchaku featherdusters. "(How dare you (a mere male)  
interfere with the mission of a member of the Nichieju!)"  
  
"Huh? Hey, speak Japanese!" The boy glared at the oddly dressed woman. "Better yet, leave me alone, I'm on a Quest For Vengeance."  
  
"You tell him, Shammi!" Tigar called out in Japanese, then realized that Shammi hadn't really been involved in Bane's language drills. Really, it was so rude to go to another country and not learn at least some of the native's language. "(Don't accept him talking back to you like that!)"  
  
Swinging her nunchaku in a complicated pattern, Shammi snarled. So he _was_ talking back to her. She'd show him! She'd show all of them! She was just as good a fighter as Shampoo.   
  
"(We don't have time for this, Shampoo is getting away!)" Vanilla pointed out. Then shrugged. She'd simply leave them to their diversion and go off to investigate things herself.  
  
"Look, whoever you are, I don't fight girls. So just go away nicely, will you?" Ryouga tried not to show how miffed he was at having some girl slam into him with enough force to bowl him over.  
  
"(Hey, he just said that he didn't consider you a worthy opponent?!)" Tigar wasn't completely sure, the boy had spoken too quickly, but that was what it had sounded like...  
  
Shammi began to glow a fitful blue. "(You... YOU...YOU DARE!!!)" This was hitting her right where it hurt. She knew others considered her skills to be less than stellar, and it rankled. "DIE!"  
  
Ryouga took a step back. "Uh oh."  
========================================  
  
(1) Anyone believe this? Nah, I didn't think so.  
  
(2) Gosunkugi is mean, petty, spiteful, cowardly, and has no sense of honor. His preferred method of attack involves the victim being unaware of his presence or incapacitated. That does not mean he can't be salvaged, just that it would require some work.   
  
----------  
  
Nabiki stared at the glowing winged shape of Featherbrite who was laughing as she sat on Kasumi's shoulder and pointed out a trail off to the side.  
  
"So..." Nabiki managed as she looked around. "Where exactly are we? And how come we can see you now?" Nabiki noted that Kasumi was her usual unflappable self, while she had her "Ice Queen" persona on. Shampoo, on the other hand, looked like she had gone into defensive mode and was hanging nearer the eldest Tendo. Interesting.  
  
"This is the Faerie Realm, Nabiki, even if it IS one of the outlying regions. Naturally you can see me here, as that you can't in your mortal realm because of the restrictions laid upon faerie interaction with that world." Featherbrite shrugged. She didn't know much beyond that, it simply WAS, and faerie generally didn't question such things. That which was, was, that was the faerie view.  
  
Shampoo tore her eyes away from the little figure to take in some of the odd sights around her. A grassy plain, with a number of trees. A four winged bird hovered briefly far above before proving it was a predator by making a dive at something off in the grass to her right. "Shampoo remember here vaguely. Not here long. Was many others with Shampoo. Is very dangerous."  
  
Nabiki noted that the plants weren't varieties she was familiar with. She started collecting samples as surreptiously as she could, sure that the Botany Club would pay through the nose for these.  
  
"A friend of mine is not too far off," Featherbrite answered. "We're getting supplies for the celebration of your victory over the vampire."  
  
"Free?" Nabiki asked hopefully. She wasn't sure she wanted to know what kind of currency was used here. Maybe a free lunch was too much to hope for.  
  
----------  
  
Shammi charged and brought her nunchaku into a sweeping double strike that should have caught the boy on both sides of the head.  
  
Ryouga blocked both. "HEY! Knock it off!"  
  
Tiger flipped through her translation book. "Knock? (Ah, to strike a light blow! He's threatening to fight you!)"  
  
"(Tell him that he's already fighting me!)" Shammi whipped the nunchaku back and produced a broom out of nowhere.  
  
Ryouga almost laughed until Shammi started using bo staff manuevers with it. "HEY!"  
  
"He is tougher than he appears," Vanilla raised an eyebrow without any other outward show of emotion. She had returned after determining there was no way to follow Shampoo. Interesting that Shampoo had made friends with the locals, perhaps she ought to explore this tactic herself.  
  
"Oh, to heck with it." Ryouga lashed out, grabbing the broom and flinging it off to the side. "Now what are you going to do...uh oh."  
  
Shammi pulled out a set of Ginsu knives. "(Very well, male, you have earned enough of my respect that now I shall use my ultimate attack, the Sashimi Sendoff! Pray to your ancestors that you...)"  
  
At that moment the broom returned at high speed, having been accidently flipped in a manner that he had been practicing with his umbrella. Eventually he might be able to throw his umbrella and have it return to his hand should he miss. He still tended to be a little off on the return. That it worked with a broom was not something that he'd have expected anyway.  
  
The broom struck Shammi right between the eyes, and she dropped without a sound.  
  
-------------  
  
Kasumi, Nabiki, and Shampoo watched a laughing reunion between a four foot tall wood nymph and a six inch tall pixie. Kasumi was amused. Nabiki and Shampoo were...startled by seeing a naked woman with green hair and skin the color of birch bark. Though Shampoo vaguely remembered seeing the woman before, she'd been half-asleep the whole time she hadn't been completely asleep.  
  
"Shampoo not going to ask."  
  
Nabiki almost asked what Shampoo was talking about, but decided she'd rather not know.  
  
"But of course, Bri'te! I have plenty of such things available to me, but what are you giving me in return?" Holly arched an eyebrow, knowing that the pixie wouldn't give up that male changeling of hers, but she felt she should be polite and at least make the try.   
  
"You can't have Ranma," Featherbrite folded her arms and huffed as well as she could considering her stature. "These three are also under my protection and are only here to help me carry stuff back."  
  
Nabiki and Shampoo instinctively moved a little closer to Kasumi. All three noted that Holly was interested in Ranma, but apparently couldn't have it. All three came to the conclusion that less competition was a good thing.  
  
"No doubt," Holly nodded. She saw her opportunity for a little mischief and excitement. "So, if I make a request..."  
  
Featherbrite groaned, she had a feeling the bargaining on this was going to be a problem...  
  
---------------  
  
Ryouga ran. He didn't care where, at present. Just as long as it was AWAY.  
  
"Wo ai ni! Wo da airen!" Shammi bounced along behind Ryouga, using a number of phrases she remembered from watching a similar scene in a cartoon years ago. "Wait, bay-bee, wait for your lil' Shammi!"  
  
"AAAAAaaaaaaaaa!" Ryouga went THROUGH a set of stacked construction drainpipes, leaving a little trail of dust in the air behind him as he attempted to break the sound barrier.  
  
Vanilla noted that Shammi was making progress in what looked like a lazy bouncing gait, where Ryouga was running flat out and destroying obstacles in his way. Shammi was somehow managing to close the distance with Ryouga despite the apparent differences in their velocity. Interesting.  
  
"I am coming for you, my little studmuffin!" Shammi was pleased. That cartoon turned out to be an accurate summation of foreign mating practices. Strange, but "when in Rome..."  
  
"I am NOT your studmuffin!" Ryouga went through a wall, the backyard of some old man who was busy with bonsai, and out the front gate. Stopping when he saw that Shammi had gotten there first.  
  
Shammi looked up, having used her Martial Arts Housekeeping skills to produce a cafe table, two chairs, two glasses, a nice (but not pretentious) bottle of red wine, and a loaf of french (of course) bread. "Ah, a jug of wine, a loaf of bread, .... and me?"  
  
Ryouga screamed, turned, and fled. In that order. It had to be a trick. There was a pretty girl interested in him. It just HAD to be a trick.   
  
By then, he'd managed to pique Shammi's interest.  
  
---------  
  
"WHAT?!" Nabiki blinked as she listened to the offer. She wondered what all this had to do with party supplies. "No! Absolutely not! I am NOT the one that hates boys! You want Akane!"  
  
"Nabiki!" Kasumi managed to sound both startled and disapproving at the same time.  
  
"Oh, well then, maybe someone else?"  
  
"Shampoo not think so."  
  
"Oh my. No. No, definitely not."  
  
Featherbrite understood that this was the opening salvo of negotiations that could easily take a mortal decade. "Holly, my dear old friend, could we 'cut to the chase scene' as mortals say? What is it that you REALLY want?"  
  
Holly blinked and began to slowly smile. "Well, since you put it THAT way."  
  
"Shampoo no like that smile," the Amazon whispered to Kasumi. "Dryad not strike me as bad sort, but not Shampoo's type."  
  
Kasumi nodded. She quite agreed. Nabiki noted the opinions and had also figured out this was just the opening salvo of negotiations. The wood nymph was throwing out requests that she knew would be refused.  
  
"I want," Holly said brightly, "a changeling of my own!"  
  
"Sorry, they're not THAT common, y'know."  
  
"Oh," Holly mused. "Don't know anyone who was abused as a child who could use a long period of healing in the Faerie Realm?"  
  
Nabiki stepped forward. "Excuse me, but I happen to know someone who fits the bill, but you're gonna have to get his agreement to come here."  
  
"Really?!" Holly brightened by three degrees. Just the thing to put off the tedium and refresh the spirit. "He? You distinctly used the male pronoun. Where is he?"  
  
Nabiki smirked. "I'll give you the details, but... there's something I want thrown into the deal." That the dryad wanted this so badly proved that Nabiki would be the superior negotiator here.  
  
"Oh dear," said Shampoo and Kasumi in an eerie unison.  
  
---------------  
  
A few hours later, Shampoo, Kasumi, and Nabiki (the last whistling cheerfully) were walking in with large bulging satchels. Nabiki was clutching one in particular close to herself.  
  
"Akane, have you been cooking?" Nabiki sniffed the air and immediately wished that she hadn't.  
  
Kasumi rushed into the kitchen. "Aiyah!"  
  
Shampoo and Nabiki both blinked at the odd exclamation, well at least it was odd coming from Kasumi. It was sufficient for them to find the disaster area that had once been a kitchen.  
  
Blackened pots that would require the use of sandblasting to restore them to anywhere near their original condition were lying about the kitchen. Small unidentifiable lumps of multicolored material were spattered over a number of the surfaces. The microwave that had quite obviously been used to heat up one of the heirloom serving dishes that had once contained metal foil in the print design.   
  
Everywhere one looked, the sign of some great natural disaster had occurred. The eye tended to jumble them all together rather than catalog each and every one of them, there were so many.  
  
Shampoo came up behind Kasumi and gave her "big sister" a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.  
  
Nabiki looked at what Kasumi was holding in her hands. "Say, isn't that Mother's..."  
  
Kasumi lay the shattered pieces of the large mixing bowl carefully in the trash, taking a moment to point out to her new "little sister" the kanji on the bottom that read "Tendo."  
  
"Oh, Kasumi's mother make bowl? Oh. Maybe Ranma can fix?"  
  
Kasumi's head snapped up. There was hope after all. Maybe that trick of Ranma's...  
  
"Oh, Shampoo!" Akane breezed in, apparently not noticing the wreckage. "I made you some cookies! To thank you for saving me!"  
  
Shampoo idly noted Kasumi and Nabiki were backing off and wondered what that meant.  
  
"Cookies?" Shampoo turned her gaze to the plate of odd things sitting on the plate that Akane held up. "Is food?" It didn't LOOK like food. It looked like something left over from a cooking experiment she'd done when she was six.  
  
Akane nodded with a little sound of agreement. "Yes, it took me a really long time to make them. Try one, they're good!"  
  
Shampoo wondered what the panicked looks she was getting from her big sister meant. Certainly she didn't want to insult Kasumi's little sister by refusing some odd cultural dish. Shampoo plucked one up and made a show of popping it into her mouth.  
  
"Oh no," Nabiki managed.  
  
"Oh, Shampoo, we hardly knew you..."  
  
"HEY!" Akane managed to glare and look hurt at the same time. "Shampoo likes them, I bet. Don't you, Shampoo? Shampoo?" Why was the Amazon turning purple?  
  
"I'll call Doctor Tofu," Nabiki ran for the phone as Shampoo crumpled to the floor.  
  
"Why is she doing that? They can't be THAT bad!"  
  
--------------  
  
By the next morning, Shampoo had recovered from her NDE (Near Death Experience). Thanking her mother for her Amazon constitution and powers of recovery, (not to mention the powerup from those faerie) Shampoo decided to avoid the youngest Tendo daughter rather than tempt fate. After all, she might make something else as an apology.   
  
Akane wasn't quite sure why her sugar cookies had THAT sort of reaction. After all, they couldn't be too bland after she added the tabasco and blackstrap molasses. She was hoping that the oregano was counterbalanced by the subtle mango flavoring she'd added, and it had turned out this nice purple color that had matched Shampoo's hair...  
  
But then, so had Shampoo until Doctor Tofu arrived with Mister Stomach Pump.  
  
As for the next day, nothing much really occurred. Nabiki spent quite a bit of time with her new reading material. (Symple Spellcraft For The Apprentice, Divinations & Protective Magicks)  
  
Ranma had a long talk with his imaginary friend, which made Akane wonder if she was the only sane person in the household.  
  
Ryouga managed to get lost, while Shammi considered this level of resistance to possibly mean that: a) he wasn't interested in girls, or b) he was already married. Ryouga continued to wander while Shammi continued to track him. Tigar continued to follow Shammi, as she felt that this particular soap opera was of more interest than a quick return to the village.  
  
Di Na wondered why her magic jar had "Vlasic Pickles" written on it, and seemed not to be working. She wondered about this for an entire ten seconds before starting off on a tirade about little girls messing with their betters.   
  
Deciding to try and find Shampoo without Tigar's help, and really not wanting to get involved in Shammi's soap opera, a certain albino Amazon decided to ask if her fellow Amazon had been seen. Vanilla calmly and quietly interviewed a girl who was out jogging in the morning, reasoning that since the girl in question seemed to be something of a warrior (judging by the punches and kicks she threw while jogging) that she'd be the most calm and reasoned of any likely contacts.  
  
Vanilla was quite surprised to be attacked, and was still trying to find a better translation dictionary as the one she had was quite obviously flawed.  
  
Akane woke up shortly thereafter, knowing that with those red eyes and pale skin, that she was being hunted by yet another vampire. How this one managed to survive being out on a sunlit day, she had no idea, but she would be ready THIS time. And why did she have this smell of ice cream lingering on her?  
  
Bane and the others of the Juuban party started following the manga artist under the notion that the Dark Kingdom would attack her again and they had to be ready.  
  
-------------  
  
Three days after the vampire attack, Genma and Soun exchanged a glance with raised eyebrows. Their plan had gone a little off track, but was otherwise still deemed viable.  
  
One keg of sake sat at their end of the table. It was holding up quite well, as the two had merely been sipping for most of the night.  
  
There had been some reluctance from the various others, which had gradually eroded. Between Shampoo and Kasumi, there had been considerable amounts of food made, which had required something to wash it down with.  
  
Kasumi had been sipping at some warm sake, but was now spending a lot of time with a little smile on her face and staring at some point in midair.  
  
Nabiki had protested at first but was currently flushed and had loosened her top as if she were quite warm. She was also leaning against Ranma in what Genma viewed as a promising manner.  
  
Akane had passed out, which had disappointed Soun considerably. He still had considerable hopes on Akane as backup if the Ranma + Nabiki attempt failed.  
  
Shampoo was refilling cups again, and looked like she would be joining Akane in slumberland at any moment.  
  
"Well, Saotome," Soun said to his longtime friend. "I think we probably ought to go check out that new bar, don't you?"  
  
"Quite right, Tendo." Genma smirked. "We probably won't be back until morning."  
  
"Karaoke?" Nabiki's eyes tried to focus on her father. She hadn't drunk THAT much, why was her head so fuzzy? She felt her body relax itself against Ranma. She felt SO warm. So relaxed, so... naughty.  
  
Featherbrite watched all this with some satisfaction, now if the fathers would just get out of the way, she could get on with her main task. Neither could see her, but if she started weaving magic there was no telling what would happen.  
  
Ranma excused himself, gently moved Akane and Nabiki off of him, and made his way to the toilet.  
  
Soun noted the way Ranma wobbled and smiled. Everything was going as planned.  
  
"Aiyaaa, Shampoo need to get something to eat. Not used to drinking this much..." Shampoo realized that maybe she should take a nap first.  
  
Genma waved his friend into the back yard where they could have a more private conversation.  
  
"The drugged sake is working," Genma whispered to Soun.  
  
"We'll leave briefly, come back when they've all passed out. If we put Nabiki and Ranma to bed, surely the boy's shyness will be overwhelmed." Soun nodded. If nothing else, he knew Nabiki. If Nabiki wanted something, she wouldn't hesitate to go after it. At least she didn't go around finding things and signing her name on them to indicate they were HERS. Keeping her away from magic markers had been a problem that year.  
  
"Then, with grandchildren on the way, they'll HAVE to be married, and our plan to train the grandchild as the Anything Goes Heir will be assured."  
  
Back in the house, Featherbrite was weaving and shaping the spell energies as she'd planned. It was really too bad that Ranma had kept her from adding all those wonderful little additives. If she could have done that, Featherbrite saw no reason that Ranma couldn't have married the whole group and taken them as lifemates. Why if it was good enough for that overweight Sultan, then it was good enough for her friend Ranma!  
  
Though with the barely suppressed libido she saw in that Kasumi, (no wonder she didn't notice a lot of what was going on around her, the mental effort of suppressing THAT must be enormous) Featherbrite thought it likely that Ranma would be too exhausted to be coherent for quite some time.  
  
What a pity that Featherbrite hadn't been able to sneak any of that in. Featherbrite sighed as the unfairness of not taking advantage of this situation hit her, it would certainly have cut some of the tension level down.  
  
--------  
  
She carefully set her bags down. This had gone on *quite* long enough! "You can come out now!"  
  
Another passerby on the street gave her an odd look.  
  
She tried again. "I know you're there. I've seen you repeatedly over the past few days. You might as well come out."  
  
There, a glimpse of movement where there shouldn't be.  
  
"You sees us?"  
  
"You've forgotten that store windows are glass, and glass reflects things," the pharmacist-turned-writer indicated the street. "Now come on up to my apartment. It's going to rain tonight."  
  
Several brightly colored forms slipped out of the shadows, startling Naoko by their number and appearance. She'd only spotted the pudgy one for the most part. "It's polite in Japan to introduce yourself. I'm Naoko Takeuchi, but I think you've heard of me." The "Art Of Sailor Moon" book was pretty indicative of such a case.  
  
The blonde had changed out of her Sailor Moon odango (she'd kept getting the ponytails tangled) and nodded. "Am Bane. Leader of rescue expedition."  
  
The Hindu-looking girl bowed from the waist, hands in her sleeves and crossed in front of her. "Spice."  
  
The perky looking girl bounced and winked. "Sugar am pleased meet you."  
  
The slightly overweight girl frowned. "Dina. We ask, you talk."  
  
Naoko led them to her apartment, and was amused to see the girls inspecting things as if they almost expected large insects to come popping out of nowhere. Remembering the giant bug, that dampened the amusement some.  
  
"I make tea, yes?" The girl named Sugar declared.  
  
"So, Takeuchi-san, we need ask you questions," the blonde said. "Village attacked by Dark Kingdom. Dark Kingdom show up here. We need know how fight. Need know how you know."  
  
The manga artist considered that. After seeing one of those *things* she wasn't inclined to throw the concept out. Had to be a coincidence though, all she'd done was combine the concepts of a themed sentai show with the magical girl genre. Some of it was straight out of other series like "Rose Of Versailles."  
  
Right?  
  
--------  
  
Genma came to a stop as a shape appeared out of nowhere before him. The shock cleared most of the sake-induced haze from his mind. Soun was already on his way back, Genma would join him at the gate, then they'd ensure the Tendo-Saotome Alliance!  
  
"Mister Saotome, I have a business proposition for you." The man lit a cigarette and placed his back against a lightpost, calmly gazing at the martial artist in front of him.  
  
"Business? I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"It's quite simple, Mister Saotome. Your son is a minor, under YOUR authority. I represent a group of people who are...interested in some of the properties of that cursed form of his."  
  
"So what's that got to do with me?" Genma tried to clear the rest of the haze from his mind. He had the feeling that this was something important. He was also aware of others surrounding him. This many, while he was impaired by the alcohol, might be more than he could handle.  
  
"I have here a contract, Mister Saotome. You sign your son over to us, assist in his capture, and you get a considerable sum of money. In addition, we'll assist you with some of the costs involved in child raising as this is something else we're quite...interested in seeing."  
  
"I don't know, the boy's my only heir, I..."  
  
Isao smirked at the man before him. "We're not that Hisakawa person. Ranma is worth FAR more to us alive and unharmed than vivisected. We want to do this legally, however, at least as much as possible."  
  
"Hisakawa?" Genma couldn't remember the name. Taking the contract he scanned over the first page but was having trouble focussing on the packed text. It looked okay, he'd sign over his parental rights to Ranma for the next two years, and he'd get...  
  
Genma looked up at the businessman before him and licked suddenly dry lips. "Is this...accurate?"  
  
"Yes," Isao said with a nod. His eyes never left Genma's own gaze. "Two million now, plus we assist in the childbearing and childrearing costs, even throw in something for the happy couple when they marry in two years."  
  
Genma blinked. "Do you have a pen?"  
======================================= 


	6. Chapter 6

Featherbrite's Tale, the Bet.  
  
6: Some Interest  
  
OR...  
  
Sober Introspection  
  
"As far as tactics are concerned, in situations like this, I personally recommend cheating." - M.Wright  
  
"Best defense- is not be there." - P. Morita  
  
"Go not to the dragons for answer, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup." - Unknown adventurer  
  
---------  
  
Ranma crept out to the rooftop as soon as he could splash himself with cold water and regain his clothing. It was a chilly night, but the fresh air helped clear the nausea and whatever had been in that sake.  
  
"Ranma, why aren't you in bed?" Featherbrite silently added that it should be with Nabiki, one of the few ideas that she agreed with the panda on. That, in and of itself, was enough to cause her to rethink this course of action. "Tile roofs are not the best bedding for the night."  
  
"Yeah, right. Brite, I thought we agreed there would be no philtres, love potions, or turning 'em into something."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, you are SUCH a spoilsport." Featherbrite sulked a little. But that had taken all the FUN out of it. Well, almost all.  
  
"Then WHY did I have one girl do a faceplant in my lap? Shortly followed by two others deciding that I made a good solid object to lean against?" Ranma thought the night had been more embarassing than anything else. Though there were *some* at school who would have enjoyed the events.  
  
"Oh...your father drugged the sake," the faerie shrugged and lay back next to Ranma. "If I had done anything like that, all three of 'em woulda dragged you off to bed and we wouldn't be having this conversation."  
  
"S'pose so." Ranma nodded. Bri'te managed to be subtle every so often, but it definitely wasn't one of her strengths.  
  
The companiable silence lasted a few minutes before Featherbrite spoke. "Brings back memories, don't it?"  
  
"Clear night, stars, laying on a blanket in the cold? Yeah." Ranma smiled a little. "Some good times, some bad times, some crazy times."  
  
"Lotsa crazy times," corrected Featherbrite with a smirk. "So... which one do you like?"  
  
"Huh?! Oh, cut it out, Bri'te." Ranma was quiet for a few minutes. "Bri'te?"  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"Thanks for restraining yourself back there."  
  
Featherbrite smiled a bit wider as she studied the sky. "You're welcome, Ranma-chan."  
  
"Bri'te?"  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"I know you found some loopholes. What kinda changes *did* you make?"  
  
Featherbrite groaned. She was busted.  
  
---------  
  
Vanilla let out a deep breath and considered her reflection in the store window. Red eyes, pale skin, pale hair with an odd blue hint to it.  
  
Even among the Chinese Amazons, her looks were considered either strange or exotic. She had been found abandoned as a child, adopted into the tribe, and had spent years learning the ways of her people.  
  
Except that they truly weren't her people - not exactly. She never quite fit. Not that that was that unusual in this group. Neither she nor Tigar were exactly typical members of the Joketsuzoku.   
  
Tigar leapt down out of the darkness, her hands full of something. "Try this. It good."  
  
Vanilla looked over the odd thing. Like many things since first coming to Japan, it was oddly familiar in some strange way. "What is it?"  
  
"Japanese food," explained Tigar. "Some kind of fish cookie."  
  
"I... dislike meat," reminded Vanilla. She didn't know *why* it was, but everytime she'd eaten meat - it had made her ill. The best that she'd been able to handle were things like milk products.  
  
"I'll see what I can scrounge," Tigar said, between bites of her cookie. She ignored Vanilla's shudder of distaste and merely concentrated on her own evident enjoyment of the snack. "Though it seems like darn near everything here is made of fish or rice - and mainly has both."  
  
Vanilla let out another deep breath. It sounded as if she was going to be dieting while in Japan.  
  
---------  
  
Nabiki awoke gradually, aware that the morning was unseasonably cold and that there was a heat source over to the side. She snuggled up to said heat source, and further details began to make themselves known.  
  
Heat source was moving slightly. Defcon Four. A vaguely muddled memory of Ranma and her being tucked in bed by their loving parents remained muddled. Enough detail penetrated to start alarms going off.  
  
Heat source was responding slightly to Nabiki's movement, snuggling closer itself. Defcon Three. Nabiki's eyes began to flutter.  
  
Heat source was breathing. Said breath tickling her face. Alert status upgraded to Defcon Two. Nabiki cracked an eye open, silently cursing whoever's idea it was to make mornings so damn bright.  
  
Nabiki blinked at what she was seeing as she reluctantly shoved aside the remains of sleep. Half-memories of what had been going on the previous night began to filter in and were carefully fit together with what her eyes were bringing her.  
  
It wasn't Ranma. Nabiki noted that the feeling of disappointment that this generated and decided she would figure out why later, MUCH later. Gently disengaging herself from Akane, Nabiki looked over at where Ranma's futon was rolled up and tucked into the corner. The exact place where it had been yesterday.  
  
Alarm battled with disappointment, and both found that jealousy was sneaking around the edges waiting to get a shot in.  
  
Nabiki idly noted that Akane was still wearing the little cross that Kasumi had taken down to a church and had blessed. One of many preparations that had been made for the vampire attack. At the time, Akane had been amused at her elder sister's fantasies. Nabiki doubted that the chain had left Akane's possession since that night. Akane *had* been typically Japanese in not being religious and giving Shintoism and Buddhism a bare nod. She'd had a bit of a religious experience, watching a vampire come back for the second of three bites that would have made her an undead slave. She'd probably get over it in a few more days.  
  
Nabiki slipped out of her bed, noting that she was NOT wearing her usual pajamas. She figured that this had something to do with what she had perceived as unseasonable cold. She carefully left Akane on the bed, still asleep, and quickly put on a set of said pajamas.   
  
Nabiki snuck out of the room, not so much from the desire to be sneaky as from the understanding that the dull throbbing of her headache could get BAD when exposed to loud noises. Akane was likely to find herself in a strange bed and react loudly. It would not be good to be caught there at ground zero.  
  
At Kasumi's door, Nabiki slowly opened it to look within. Kasumi and Shampoo were accounted for. Shampoo's futon hadn't been slept in either. Nabiki wasn't entirely sure WHY those two had hit it off so well, but they had. Resisting the temptation to go back for her camera, Nabiki quietly closed the door. It looked as if they had passed out during a pillow fight. Exactly how much had they drunk?  
  
A drunk Kasumi and a drunk Amazon in a pillow fight/tickle fest. Nabiki wouldn't have sold a kidney for film of that, but she would've done quite a bit for a videotape.  
  
Still no sign of Ranma.  
  
Nabiki thought this out. A vague memory of being stripped and tucked into bed came to her, a little more detailed than her previous musing. Ranma had been similarly treated. Now Ranma was nowhere to be seen and Akane was in her bed.  
  
"He left when he realized where he was," came a voice near Nabiki's ear. "Akane couldn't breathe in her room with all of the garlic she'd hung, so she migrated to yours about an hour later. Such a disappointing night."  
  
"Got anything for a hangover?" Nabiki glanced to the side where she could _almost_ see a pixie sitting on her shoulder. She could almost see the transparent dragonfly-like wings and oddly slick-looking skin, the little strands of hair (this morning a muted green). The dull throb in Nabiki's head almost immediately began to unwind and fade away. "Thanks."  
  
"No problem."  
  
Nabiki stopped, her head slowly coming around to stare as best she could at her shoulder. Her already mussed hair was attempting to "toing" out of control. She _could_ almost see a pixie sitting on her shoulder. She was a little transparent but otherwise quite alarmingly *there.* She also had _heard_ the pixie quite distinctly. "Uhm, how come I'm having a conversation with you...."  
  
Featherbrite turned with a sly grin to Nabiki. "What? You think we went to Holly just because I could finagle some free food? Everything you ate or drank that came from there had an enchantment on it."  
  
"WHAT?!?!" Nabiki immediately clapped her hands over her mouth. Sounds of irritation came from various points around the house in response to her outburst. "What did you do?"  
  
"A minor enchantment here, a minor enchantment there." Featherbrite pouted slightly. "Ranma said I couldn't use the Philtre or the really interesting stuff..."  
  
Nabiki shuddered slightly as she wondered what all she had just been saved from. A Philtre? Love potions? Oh dear.  
  
"All he'd allow was the basic stuff he'd suggested." Featherbrite sounded more than a little disappointed. (1)  
  
"What kind of basic stuff?" Nabiki tried to control the queasiness in her stomach. One of the first things she'd read in her new book on magic had been that transformation was one of the easiest things to do with Faerie magic. There had been a few pages on protective measures, none of which she could remember taking the previous night.  
  
"Oh, giving you some basic protections if you should find yourself in the Faerie Realm again. Shampoo already has some protections, gained with her becoming a proper Amazon princess. Anyway, this will allow you to see and hear me, more or less. Makes communication a lot easier, don't you think? Just remember it also makes you stand out from the crowd as far as the supernatural is concerned."  
  
"Oh," said Nabiki. That could be bad, but it could also be good. So she could See The Supernatural now. Maybe she could approach some brownie or sylph as a spy.  
  
"Basic protective stuff, stuff I did for Ranma years ago. A warding against disease, good luck invocation, enhancement of the efficiency of the digestive system, little increases in healing rate and removal of some nasty little problems caused by your environment here."  
  
"Such as?" Nabiki felt a trickle of panic. She was quite aware that the little being was Alien in perspective. Only that these were things Ranma had apparently not vetoed and her reputation as an Ice Queen kept her from checking various body parts to make sure that they were unchanged.  
  
The grin completely faded from Featherbrite's face and she looked seriously into Nabiki's eyes. Nabiki's eyes nearly crossed from the effort of meeting that gaze on someone who was still sitting on her shoulder. "Nabiki. A Faerie Contract is not something to be scoffed at or lightly discarded. Ranma has made me promise that I will not alter any of your minds to make you fall in love with him, nor knowingly influence your thinking in that regard. Sure, there are loopholes in that. I could weaken the restraints on Kasumi's libido, which is much like a raging fire that she constantly seeks to control. If I did *that* she'd be trying to seduce Ranma before dinner. (2)  
  
"I could have used a minor alteration in Shampoo's mindset, increase her competitiveness level while damping her jealousy, and she'd be ready to seduce Ranma before breakfast just so she could make him hers FIRST.  
  
"Your youngest sister resents Ranma, dislikes him, and thinks he's nuts. She's got her first impression and is running with it. Do you have any idea how easy it would have been to alter that so that she was grateful to Ranma for his rescue instead of resenting him for drawing the vampire here? Underneath it all, she finds Ranma attractive. All it would take is a nudge to start THAT rolling.  
  
"Or you, for example. Ya naie ve zein, child! You have no idea how much baggage you're carrying with you. All it would take is a little tweak and you'd find a use for all that 'yoga' stuff you've never contemplated.   
  
"I didn't do ANY of that stuff, no matter that everyone would have been much happier with any of those outcomes. Pfeh. I promised, and I'm *trying* to be good here. Therefore I only changed the things that Ranma approved of.  
  
"Little tiny things mainly. Your mother also passed on to you three the very thing that killed her. The cancer that killed her would eventually have at least appeared in Kasumi." The moment of intensity passed and Featherbrite rocked back on Nabiki's shoulder. "Plus your youngest sister would have had some problems down the road with her leg tendons. All history now."  
  
"Well, she does tend to concentrate on developing her arms." Nabiki began to smile. "That's all?"  
  
"Ranma can be SUCH a stick-in-the-mud sometimes," the little faerie confided with a nudge and a wink. "Why, he wouldn't even let me use the Lemon Aid. Imagine that!"  
  
"Yeah, just imagine. What a disappointment." Nabiki silently thanked Ranma.  
  
"So, yeah, just a couple of protective things, plus you will be able to see and hear me now. More or less."  
  
"More or less?!" The alarms went back on.  
  
"Don't get your dander up. Sheesh. I had to pay you back for your help, didn't I? Paybacks are *very* important to a faerie. (Good AND bad.) I gave Kasumi a resistance to mind-affecting spells (girl was WIDE open), and you struck me as the sneaky sort so I gave you Eyes Of The Cat."  
  
"Eeeep?!" Nabiki's hands immediately shot up to face level.  
  
"NO. Not literally. That's just what the Faerie Gift is called. Your nightvision is a lot better, that's all. There's a number of Faerie Gifts given out to either heroes or champions, or those we have as mortal god-children. Eyes Of The Cat, Animal Speech, Gift Of Song, or the like. Or lesser gifts like Valiant Heart, Perfect Pitch, Grace & Poise, and so on."  
  
"Ah." Nabiki nodded. Fully understanding the faerie was obviously not included in any deal. "By the way, where IS Ranma?"  
  
"Still on the roof. After you were both 'tucked in bed' he left and found a safe place. Your father really wants this engagement between you and Ranma to work, doesn't he?"  
  
"The roof? Isn't he cold up there?"  
  
Shampoo entered the hallway, stretching. She raised an eyebrow at the sight of Nabiki talking to the pixie but otherwise didn't react.  
  
"Yes." The faerie giggled with a sound like tiny bells. "It's his own fault though. Could have stayed in your nice warm bed, but..."  
  
There was a cracking noise and Shampoo dropped part of the doorframe that had somehow come off in her hand. "Airen was...IN...her bed?"  
  
"Yeah," Nabiki nodded. "I was wondering about that myself. Why's he so shy?" After a moment she added, "not that he would have gotten away with anything..."  
  
"Airen in...HER...bed?!" Shampoo twitched slightly.  
  
"Oh, I'd better get breakfast ready." Kasumi moved past everyone with a little smile showing. If she had a hangover she wasn't letting it show.  
  
"Airen in her...BED!?" Shampoo turned stricken eyes to Nabiki. "Snea... Nabiki sleep with airen? And Violent Maniac Girl say _Shampoo_ too forward?"  
  
"Nothing happened, Shampoo." Nabiki protested, though she realized that the Chinese girl was a little out of it still. "It's just an honor agreement between families."  
  
"Shampoo, can you help me in the kitchen?" Kasumi was halfway down the stairs, but her voice clearly reached the group.  
  
"Shampoo coming," mumbled Shampoo in a clearly distracted manner. "Why this happen to Shampoo? Shampoo is nice girl. Shampoo good Amazon warrior. Shampoo cute. Why not Shampoo one who sleep with airen? What Shampoo do to deserve stupid Mousse who always annoy Shampoo? Doesn't Shampoo deserve..."  
  
Nabiki and Featherbrite both (large sweatdrop forming on Nabiki) watched the Amazon wander off to the kitchen, still mumbling as she went.  
  
"Uhm, you were saying?"  
  
"Oh, he doesn't understand a lot about that stuff. Father always dragging him hither and yon. That kinda thing. He's *really* naive about sex and stuff."  
  
"Being around YOU?!"  
  
"Yeah, go figure, huh?" Featherbrite chuckled.  
  
---------EYECATCH#1----  
  
A hand spreads five cards out on a green surface. The back of the cards has the series logo. The hand then uses a single motion to flip all the cards over at once.  
  
King Of Hearts has Ranma's face, Queen Of Diamonds has Nabiki's face, Queen Of Spades -Ukyou, Queen Of Hearts- Kasumi, Queen of Clubs - Shampoo. A sixth card, the Joker, is added, and the picture on that card is of Featherbrite which winks at the viewer. A voice provides a single comment (which changes from episode to episode) this time being:   
  
"Shampoo not know what mean stacked deck..."  
  
--------  
  
Kuno swept through one set of practice motions to another, exercising on an empty stomach as was his wont. Later Sasuke would bring forth a light repast, but now was the time for the constant practice and attention to form that had made him the living legend that he was.  
  
The bokken stopped partway through a sweep. There was a disturbance near at hand. Kuno's eyes narrowed slightly as he went through the usual interruptions.  
  
Someone had entered his sanctum? Yes. It was definitely a presence. His twisted sister? No. Sasuke? No. His (shudder) father? No, hopefully he was still in Hawaii. Akane Tendo? (One could always hope, but no.) Not the pigtailed goddess, either...  
  
"Come out, villainous blackguard." Kuno swung the bokken up, having eliminated anyone who had a right to be there observing him. "You find the righteous Blue Thunder ready for whatever perfidy you do intend!"  
  
A feminine giggle was his only answer.  
  
Kuno stopped. "Akane Tendo? Winged water sprite?"  
  
"Water sprites do not have wings," came a voice correcting Kuno. "Nor am I this other you refer to."  
  
"Whoever you are, know that I shall not be tempted to stray from the path of my two loves." Kuno nodded and lowered the bokken. It was obvious that this was not to be a battle after all. No doubt some young maid who was overwhelmed with his manly presence, not that Kuno could blame her.  
  
"Oh?" The feeling of presence came closer. "Then...I...have no chance at all?"  
  
"Alas, I..." Kuno's eyes widened as the girl showed herself at last. A curvaceous and barely clothed beauty, whose laughing eyes seemed to draw him in.  
  
"Oh, poor baby, you _have_ had a hard time of it, haven't you?" Holly looked over the swordsman. He'd do. He definitely would do. His healing would take a long time...best to start as early as possible.  
  
"I..." Kuno decided that breakfast would be a good thing. He was quite ravenous of a sudden.  
  
"Come, brave warrior," purred the dryad. "I think we might have much that we could interest the other in."  
  
"As you say," Kuno walked forward, following the dryad into the apparently solid trunk of a tree.  
  
Sasuke appeared ten minutes later to see if Master Kuno would like breakfast. He found no sign of his master.  
  
Kuno was already having breakfast anyway.  
  
-------  
  
"Documents are signed and sealed, copies with the proper authorities."  
  
Isao nodded at the Yakuza member. The deal with the oyabun was simple. Knowledge would be shared. The smuggling uses alone for someone with Ranma's abilities were staggering. "Equipment?"  
  
"Standing by."  
  
Isao nodded. "We roll in a half-hour, have everything in place."  
  
-----  
  
Gosunkugi sat on the park bench, opening the book before him and ready to read the first incantation.  
  
"Boy is that screwed up," said a girl's voice.  
  
"Like you would know," began Hikaru Gosunkugi haughtily. "I..." No one was there.  
  
"Geez, lookit this stuff," continued the voice. "A real mishmash. Looks like someone took pieces of the Necronimicon and spliced in bits and pieces of the Farmer's Almanac. And this bit? It's Makai Mahou. You'd need four limbs to cast it right. Titania's Golden Orbs, child, what is this supposed to do? It looks like a demon summoning, fertility ritual, and I'm not sure what the sheep's bladder is for. For that matter, what the heck is 'Cheese Whiz' anyway?"  
  
Hikaru, momentarily puzzled, looked right. He looked left. He looked up. "Oh my." He recognized the little faerie, he'd seen it flitting around Saotome earlier.  
  
"Let me guess, this is supposed to be a love spell?" The faerie shook a diminuitive finger at the large boy, incidently using a Quench spell to put out the candles he had strapped to his head. Just when she thought she was getting to understand humans...  
  
"You don't think it will work?" Gosunkugi reached off to the side, maybe he could catch the little magic creature if he just could reach his mallet.  
  
"If you *successfully* cast this, as I understand it. It will work. You'll have the undying affection of every toad within three miles." Featherbrite tsked. It took all kinds, she supposed, but toads didn't particularly seem that charismatic to her.  
  
Hikaru's hopeful expression died. "Oh."  
  
"Look, you obviously got some magical Talent. Voodoo ain't it." Featherbrite had never seen the appeal of voodoo. Give her good old faerie magic any time.  
  
"No?"  
  
"No. Neither is this crap. Shamanistic maybe? No, hmmmm." The faerie began orbiting Gosunkugi, shifting around until the would-be voodan was dizzy. "Got it."  
  
"Well, I understand if you... excuse me?"  
  
"Alchemy would be your best bet. Chinese Sorcery is also a possibility, but that takes more chi than you've got. Shen Mysticism perhaps to build up your reserves." Featherbrite nodded rapidly.  
  
"I have magical potential?" Hikaru's heart sang almost as much as if Akane had talked to him. He, he wasn't worthless after all!   
  
"Yeah, if you like I could try getting you some books. Just don't go near Ranma or his girls."  
  
"I won't!" Hikaru nodded so hard his head was ready to fall off. Besides, everyone knew Ranma wasn't interested in Akane. That fool Saotome.  
  
Featherbrite glanced at the book. She wasn't sure about some aspects of human behavior, but she did know a few things. "You ought to lay off the love spells too. Those things never work right unless the target's willing. If you've got a particular girl in mind, try being her friend first. Then be the kind of guy she wants. Don't just fake it, BE it. If she wants a studious guy, be a real juku student. If she wants a troubadour, learn to be a musician or at least know a lot about music. If she wants a hero, be a hero."  
  
Hikaru nodded repeatedly as the faerie continued to talk about magic, talent, and being heroic. A brief vision of him turning Tatewaki Kuno into a gerbil, then sweeping Akane off her feet, caused Hikaru Gosunkugi to shudder slightly.  
  
Akane. Power. Akane. Magic. Akane. Hikaru smiled. Life... was good.  
  
--------------  
  
Ranma was at least grateful that the usual battle over food wasn't taking place this morning. A more leisurely pace allowed her to enjoy more fully the flavors of the simple breakfast that Kasumi had prepared.  
  
Of course, ever since Featherbrite had put that curse on anyone who stole Ranma's food, Genma was slower and more careful about what he stole from Ranma's plate. Genma assumed that Ranma had hidden some Chinese herb. It couldn't be a Curse Of Explosive Flatulence.  
  
It was the traditional Japanese breakfast. The everpresent rice, a small bowl of miso soup with a chunk of tofu floating in it, and green tea.  
  
Ranma had switched to his cursed form during the night. The yousei form seemed to throw off the effects of alcohol better, despite the decrease of mass.   
  
"Thank you, Kasumi, that was delicious!" Ranma placed her chopsticks down across her bowl. Which it was, in its way, Ranma was just used to having something more... substantial?  
  
"Shampoo still having some trouble with food." Shampoo's voice was absolutely miserable. Last night had been a mistake, a _big_ mistake. She'd woken with a thin headache. Now it had progressed to a point where one could almost swear Shampoo had a touch of green in her cheeks.  
  
A shriek from upstairs let everyone know that Akane had finally attained consciousness and discovered that she was in a strange bed.  
  
"So, Ranma, where did you spend the night?" Soun ignored the sounds of crashing as someone accidently knocked over her dresser in an attempt to get dressed at high speeds with a hangover.  
  
"Uhm," began Ranma, stopping when a particular loud smashing noise came from Akane's room. "Uh, well, I spent it on the roof. Fresh air helped clear my head, y'know."  
  
Soun waited briefly for Genma to put his two-yen in but the other seemed distracted by something. Whatever it was, it was not the sound of someone tripping over a drawer and smashing into a wall.  
  
"She must really be feeling the effects of that stuff." Nabiki sipped at her tea. She'd wait until after Akane was done before going up and starting to assess the damage. That she found herself falling over things this morning was besides the point. She really didn't like the slight dizzy spells this morning.  
  
"Oh, Ranma, thank you for fixing those things that Akane broke earlier. Especially that bowl. It was something that Mother had made back during a ceramics class during High School." Kasumi smiled, seemingly oblivious to the sound of someone falling down the stairs.  
  
"I'M LATE!!!!" Akane cried, throwing the door open and charging out at full speed.  
  
"Akane, today's Sunday," Nabiki said. She considered yelling but some people might still have a hangover. "Oh well..."  
  
"Such energy she has today." Kasumi smiled in the direction Akane had vanished in.  
  
Soun blinked, his mind having stuck on something his eldest daughter had said earlier. "The bowl your dear mother made in High School? Broken?" The waterworks began, a waterfall that threatened to drench anyone nearby.  
  
"It's all right father, Ranma fixed it like he did my cup." Kasumi sipped at her tea again, blocking one of the streams of water with a small fan.  
  
Soun stopped in mid-weep. "Oh...he did? Oh. Well done, son." Maybe Genma was wrong about his son. After all, he'd been wrong about going to train with the Master. Hmmm. (3)  
  
"Not a problem," Ranma dismissed the feat with an idle gesture. Heck, a good tube of superglue would've done as well.  
  
"Airen very useful."  
  
Soun paused and noticed the look Kasumi was giving Ranma. He could swear little hearts were floating around his eldest daughter. "Uhm, what exactly did Ranma do?"  
  
"He exhausted himself repairing dishes and mending clothing again?" Nabiki tsked as she contemplated the financial pages of the newspaper. She hadn't missed the way Kasumi looked at Ranma after he had done such things. He was just doing it to be helpful, right? There wasn't anything going on between them, was there? Damnit, he was *HER* iinazuke!   
  
Nabiki blinked as the intensity of that thought caused her to pause and reconsider whether she wanted this engagement or not. Surely not, right? It was just a family honor thing, right? She was still the Ice Queen, wasn't she? Yeah, she was in control. He was just a guy, and she would NOT get all worked up about him!  
  
"Err, Nabiki, I think it's dead." Ranma's voice was concerned.  
  
Nabiki blinked again as she noted that the financial pages in her hands had been crumpled. "Oh my."  
  
-----Street nearby-----  
  
"I'm late!!!!" Akane rushed by the van and its two attendent cars, her attention on getting to school on time.  
  
"Late?" Isao looked at his watch then back at the rapidly disappearing girl. "Young people nowadays."  
  
"Sir?" A heavily scarred chauffer looked back at the researcher.  
  
"Nevermind," Isao said curtly. With any luck he wouldn't have to go back to teaching such students at Tokyo University again.  
  
(1) Otherwise this scene would bear a vague resemblence to "Addicted To Love."   
(2) There is absolutely no canon evidence for this, or for Kasumi being into chocolate. One can easily picture a graceful, ladylike, Kasumi daintily nibbling on a Belgian chocolate in the privacy of her own room. One can also easily imagine the scene where Kasumi retreats to her room and hits the "Reese's Peanut Butter Cups"(tm) after a stressful day.   
Likewise, the concept was expressed in an earlier work that the reason Kasumi is so zoned at odd times is that her attention is on other things. Such as reining in a libido three times more powerful than Happosai's. An amusing concept though, ne?  
(3) Even if you view every other decision made by Soun & Genma in the best light, these two went off to train under Happosai. By all accounts, they didn't enjoy it. They didn't enjoy it SO much that the two tried to murder their former Master. If forced, it should've been mentioned in the series. If chosen, this qualifies as a lapse in judgement. If their judgement isn't faultless, then they can make other mistakes.  
  
  
thanks to Jared for the Genma sequence.  
  
------Tendo-ke, Genma's room-----------  
  
In a very distant corner of Genma's mind, something small was crying out and dying.  
  
It had started objecting to him when he and his buddy Soun had decided to go train under their Master. He had known Happosai was not... pleasant, but it had all been for the Art. Happosai's Anything Goes School Of Indiscriminate Grappling was quite effective from both a practical aspect and in terms of raw power from what they had been able to learn beforehand.  
  
Okay, if they had had any inkling that they'd have gone through what they had - another sensei would likely have been found. Ryuunoken's variant of shotokan karate, or the dreaded Righteous Fist, or the Five Element System. Something would have come up. Instead it had been Happosai's school.  
  
For years that little voice had screamed at him about panty raids, theft, and all the other little crimes he had committed. Assault had been necessary when police or other individuals got too close. Skipping out on restaurant bills was part of the Art - an integral part, right? Arson to cover their getaway, a little sabotage here and there - all part of the suffering a martial artist had to undergo. Each time he had chosen to ignore it just a little bit longer, the little voice had gotten a little more distant, a little less noticeable.  
  
When they'd stolen the extra sake and trapped the Master in his cave, the voice had gone quiet for a time. For a brief period thereafter, Genma had been prepared to listen to it.  
  
He'd overlooked something, that part of one's being is precious and vulnerable, and it had been abused for years. It was no longer as loud as it could have been. So quiet, that he'd not even noticed while he was chafing under the treadmill drudgery of work and home and meeting responsibilities. There had been a peep from that voice when he'd convinced Nodoka to let him go so that he could train Ranma, but the joy of his false freedom had swept that voice away. He'd changed over the years. (1)  
  
Still that little voice rallied when he'd gotten hungry and sold his son. Daikokuji hadn't given up anything he couldn't afford, just some rice and two pickles! Nothing he would suffer over, and Genma had quite convinced himself that he'd had to do it. The two were starving and he'd never intended to actually go through with the sale. He'd retrieved Ranma as soon as the buyer had turned his back, hadn't he? No problem.  
  
Bit by bit over the years, that voice had been weakened and slowly withered. It became easier and easier for Genma to sell his son. It became easier and easier to ignore the hurt he caused those around him. That voice that had been the pure and noble heart that he had once had, the glimmer of which had been the lure that had attracted his wife to him.  
  
Genma sat and contemplated the contract, still looking no further than the first page which had all the pretty numbers.  
  
Two million yen. Five hundred thousand that he'd gotten last night. The remainder to be delivered when Ranma had been taken to his new home. Grandchildren that he could train. All it required was for him to sell Ranma one last time.  
  
Genma's conscience gave its last gasp and died.  
  
Genma decided that the best thing would be nets near the boy's backpack. If Ranma tried to escape, he'd likely come for that...  
  
-------------  
  
Ukyo was in her usual lotus position. Something was going on, she could feel it.  
  
Something beyond Tsuba-ka. Something beyond some of the more hentai girls who wanted to see her "claimed" - there seemed to be a few of those in the martial arts circuit. Something beyond the usual clueless wandering martial artists who'd show up to challenge her or one of the other "fighting girls" in the area.  
  
Ever since a particularly strong set of dreams she'd had as a child, she could hear the wind in a new way. It spoke to her. Sort of. It just didn't make a whole lot of sense sometimes.  
  
Ukyo didn't even bother to move her legs in order to draw her spatula and use it to block/shift/throw Tsubasa. Not much effort. Not like Mariko.  
  
The karate expert and okonomiyaki chef listened to the wind. It seemed to say that something was going to happen soon. That she needed to be ready. Prepared. Exactly WHAT preparations and for what, it wasn't saying.  
  
Sometimes the wind was not a useful ally.  
  
Well, her upcoming transfer to a new school might take care of some of it.  
  
------  
  
"Ranma," grumbled Ryouga as he warmed himself by the fire. "Vengeance will be MINE!"  
  
Shammi considered moving forward, to find out what this strange husband was so upset about. No, he'd probably just take off running again. She had had no idea outsider men were so shy.  
  
"Ranma," Ryouga grumbled again, but didn't go into details. Instead he poked at the fire as if it had somehow offended him.  
  
Shammi settled down for what looked like a long wait, aware that Tigar had taken a position at the other gate to the park. Between the two of them, they ought to be able to keep track of this husband. Shammi wasn't sure if either of them could actually understand him, though.  
  
As to Vanilla, poor girl was probably still trying to find a ramen shop this morning.  
  
---Tendo-ke, Nerima-----  
  
Kasumi picked up the phone on the third ring. "Hai. Moshi moshi."  
  
"Hello. This is Hikaru Gosunkugi. Is Nabiki Tendo there?"  
  
"Nabiki is taking Shampoo to look at some new clothing, Mister Gosunkugi. She needs a uniform for school and some other supplies."  
  
"Gos?" Featherbrite flitted to the receiver. "I talked to him this morning. He wants to get into magic but he's going about it all wrong."  
  
"Featherbrite says hello," translated Kasumi.  
  
"Oh, she's there? How about Ranma?"  
  
"Tell him I left word with Holly, who'll get in contact with Ivy, who'll get in contact with Drath, who'll get him a DECENT spellbook. And don't forget to burn that copy of the Necronomicon he said he's got!"   
  
Kasumi relayed the message. "She says burn the Necronomicon, and you'll get a replacement. No, Ranma's not here either."  
  
"Oh, thanks! Uhm. I've been thinking about what she said, that if I want to win Akane, I've got to change ME so that I could actually make her happy without resorting to spells on HER. I'm gonna take her advice... Oh, and there's something else..."  
  
"Yes?" Kasumi prompted.  
  
" Ah. Tell her there's going to be a kidnapping attempt on Ranma. They're medical researchers from University Of Tokyo, but I think they've got connections..."  
  
"There's going to be a kidnapping attempt on Ranma? But he's such a nice young man." Kasumi wondered who would want to hurt someone as helpful as Ranma.  
  
"Kidnapping?" Featherbrite began to glow, showing her agitation. "Is he sure?"  
  
"Uhm," Gosunkugi paused. "Anyway, can you tell Nabiki?"  
  
"I think so, Mister Gosunkugi." Kasumi nodded after a moment. It must be a misunderstanding. Why, even though Akane was more hostile towards him than she was to Kuno, Ranma had put his life on the line for her. Surely no one who knew Ranma would be holding a grudge against him.  
  
[I'm expecting a call, Kasumi!] A panda walked by, holding up a sign.  
  
"Well, thank you, Mister Gosunkugi." Kasumi put the receiver down. She'd tell Nabiki, of course, but it certainly was a misunderstanding.   
  
"Kasumi, I'm going to track down Shampoo and Nabiki and let them know about this." Strength in numbers, a lesson learned hundreds of years ago. The faerie shot through an open window and was gone.  
  
Kasumi watched the faerie go and turned to her next task. The laundry wouldn't get done by itself.  
  
---------  
  
Genma finished the net traps and considered his options. It was really in the best interest of the Art, and this wasn't THAT different from some of the training the Master had put him & Soun through.  
  
The smell of garlic from Akane's room blew past him. The young girl was still out, probably sulking or angry that no one had stopped her before she got to the school.  
  
Genma nodded. Why, this reminded him of the time he and Soun had put together a little trap so that they could escape that one village of Chinese martial artist acrobats in the wake of a panty raid from the Master. Ah, those were the days.  
  
Genma went down to find that Kasumi had finished with the phone. It was time to make the call.  
  
---Downtown Nerima----  
  
"Shampoo very fast, will come along later. Ranma only able to carry one persons, you take Nabiki she not able to fight as well."  
  
"But..." Ranma stopped. If this were real and they went after hostages, Shampoo would be much less a vulnerable target than Nabiki. Just knowing that he was engaged to her made Nabiki a more likely victim.  
  
"I agree," Nabiki said after a moment. "When I'm home, there's a few phone calls I can make. We can determine if there's anything to this within a few hours. Until then, it is only sensible if we take some precautions."  
  
Featherbrite hovered nervously nearby. "Look, I can go meet with Gos, and see how much he actually knows. I'll meet you back at the Tendo house."  
  
Shampoo watched the little pixie take off, then watched her airen fly off with the sneaky girl. "(Vanilla? Is that you?)"  
  
A shadow detached itself. "(Shampoo. I was that obvious?)"  
  
"(You aren't that good a tracker or a stalker. I was uncertain of the other, but you were fairly easy for me to detect.)"  
  
"(Shammi and Tiger are off chasing Shammi's new fiance, Di Na, Bain, Sugar and Spice are in a place called 'Juuban' keeping an eye on a potentially useful contact.)"  
  
"(Have you spotted anyone else trying not to be seen?)" Shampoo's eyes flicked about.   
  
"(Yakusa.)" Vanilla sighed. "(We haven't gotten too close. They have guns and some high tech equipment. Oh and Shammi has a new husband-candidate - therefore she's preoccupied.)"  
  
"(Yakusa,)" Shampoo spat. Not warriors at all, they usually fought from... ambush?! "(Well, since they've got their advantages with firearms, familiarity with the area, and various high tech equipment. It's only fair that I use *my* new advantage.)"  
  
Vanilla blinked. "(And that would be?)"  
  
"(Great Grandmother wanted me to get ahold of some Old One magic, and that I have.)" Shampoo raised a crystalline shard up. "Yousei power - Naiad!)"  
  
Vanilla blinked as Shampoo was suddenly surrounded by a stream of water similar to that originating from the mountains of their homeland - she could feel the chill from where she was. When the stream ended, Shampoo's clothes had changed. "(Some form of powerup?)"  
  
"(When I'm Sailor Amazon, I have power over water and can glide on the winds.)" Shampoo smiled cutely though with a touch of predator to it. "(If this is what Great Grandmother wanted me to discover, I approve more thoroughly than I did over most of her insane-yet-effective techniques. We'll talk later in more detail, right now I've got some of these Triad-wannabes I want to try out my attacks on.)"  
  
--------  
  
Nabiki knew something was wrong when their flight dipped in unison to a loud meaty thunk.  
  
Another one sounded and Nabiki's concerned gaze left her iinazuke's face to track down to the two cylinders protruding from the red silk shirt. "Ranma?! You've been shot!"  
  
"Noticed," managed Ranma as their altitude decreased at a rapid pace. "Uhm. I've noticed this before. My yousei form seems to be a little more easily affected by some stuff like drugs." Which made the greater tolerance for alcohol quite strange.  
  
Nabiki privately doubted Ranma's ability to remain conscious, let alone airborne. Those looked like the kind of darts that zookeepers used to put down large animals. "Ranma, you'll never make it carrying me. Set me down before I end up having to carry you home!"  
  
"I can make it..." Ranma mumbled, skimming the ground.  
  
"LEFT! LEFT!" Nabiki tugged on Ranma's head. A group of trash cans was narrowly avoided. "Ranma! Put me down NOW!"  
  
Ranma did, standing a little unsteadily as she landed.  
  
"You get back to the house, Ranma. They're not after me. You get home and you can sleep it off. By then I should have some answers." Nabiki felt a little pang at Ranma looking so vulnerable. Just protecting an investment, that's all it was. Yeah, she was the unfeeling Ice Queen. No personal involvement at all.  
  
"Okay, Nabiki-chan," Ranma staggered as she straightened. If she could just get some hot water and turn back into a guy, she was sure she'd be okay. "Don't... take any chances, 'kay? You look cute in that outfit, but it's not practical for hiding..." She spread wings and slowly flew off.  
  
"Nabiki-chan?" Nabiki blinked. "I look cute?!!" It was just her two hearts sweater and a pair of jeans. Cute? Nabiki-chan? Nabiki shook her head. Ice, she told herself, think ice. Cold, frigid, unyielding, barren, strong ice!  
  
Looking up at the weaving dot that was Ranma attempting to fly, Nabiki said a few choice words that would have earned her a disapproving glance from Kasumi and started off towards home.  
  
"Iceiceiceiceiceiceiceice," Nabiki muttered. "Why does he have to do things like that as a girl? Couldn't he say something like that when he's a guy?" Catching herself, she again began the task of returning to being the Ice Queen. She would NOT think about why this was getting so difficult.  
  
----------------  
  
Another dart thunked in as Ranma cleared the compound wall. Ranma slowed further, there was an open window over there, but which one was it? The images appeared to dance in her eyes.  
  
She'd just find some hot water. Everything would be fine once she returned to human and male.  
  
She shot towards the window. So close...  
  
-------  
  
"Oh..." Kasumi looked up from her laundry at the sound of glass breaking. The neighborhood kids weren't playing baseball again, were they? But then there HAD been that call. "Mister Saotome, can you go take a look upstairs? It might be a burglar."  
  
The panda looked up at the ceiling and seemed to hesitate just for a moment. Then he nodded and held up a sign. [Don't worry. I suspect I know what it is.]  
  
"Oh good," Kasumi turned her attention back to the chores. She stopped and regarded Mister Saotome again. That noise had come from Nabiki's room. Nabiki would probably not appreciate Mister Saotome going through any of her possessions. She'd just make sure he didn't get curious...  
  
Genma was already in Nabiki's room when Kasumi reached the hallway.  
  
"Oh my!" Kasumi held a hand up in front of her mouth,staring at what she saw in Nabiki's room. There was Ranma-chan, netted and struggling to get airborne, when the panda very calmly used one of his signs to slam Ranma's head. When Ranma tried to get up, the sign came down again, this time at the base of the skull. Another struggle, another brutal slam of wood to flesh.  
  
"Mister Saotome! Why?" Kasumi stepped back, turning slightly pale as she saw how limp Ranma's body was and the slightly brighter patch of red on her hair. Genma lifted, netting and all going over one of the panda's shoulders.  
  
[It's for the boy's own good, you'll see.] Genma's sign now read. He proceeded past Kasumi, pausing only to wrap the net a little more securely around the form within.  
  
Kasumi stared at the two, her shock beginning to ebb. Little scenes from the past few days began replaying themselves unbidden in her memory.  
  
--Ranma wiping sweat away, as he proudly presented the repaired bowl to her.  
--Ranma playing the flute, pouring his heart out into that wonderful music.  
--When she'd burned her thumb on a pot, Ranma had rubbed the area around the burn and ever so lightly had kissed the burned area. The burn had healed, and Kasumi had needed to take a cold shower for reasons that had completely escaped Ranma.  
--Ranma hugging her when she had fallen up against him during that party to celebrate little sister Shampoo's victory over the vampire. Remembering as well that Ranma hadn't taken advantage of the situation.  
--That scene in the furo... Oh my. Oh dear.  
--Ranma risking his life to protect her sister, despite Akane being hostile to him ever since he passed her over.  
--Genma stealing food from Ranma's bowl. Ranma smirking as it became obvious that everything that Genma stole found its way back to Ranma's bowl before it came anywhere near his father's mouth. Genma running off to the bathroom at one point as if he had eaten something that didn't agree with him.  
--Helping out with dinner.  
--The way Ranma had stared at her nightgown the night of the first vampiric attack.  
--Out shopping, how she had looked at the filmy underthings and thought of what could happen if Nabiki *did* drop Ranma as an iinazuke. Akane hated boys, so there was no way for Kasumi to escape that fate. It was a rationalization, but Kasumi bought them anyway.  
  
Kasumi frowned. This wasn't right. Mister Saotome might have his reasons, but it wasn't right. Not at all.  
  
Featherbrite was suddenly there, wings blurring in agitation. "WHAT IS HE DOING?!"  
  
Kasumi stepped outside, watching some strange men coming up to the front gate. Two of them were clearly tattooed and showing all the unmistakable signs of Yakuza. The leader appeared to be a businessman, the remaining two completely nondescript. One of these others handed Genma a suitcase as the panda handed a netted Ranma over to the two obvious Yakuza.  
  
"Kasumi, I'm going to feed you what's in those minds. I don't think I can get too close without that one detecting me." One of the tattooed individual was marked by magical heritage of some kind. Featherbrite hesitated to do this, innocence was so difficult to find in this world and if she did this, Kasumi would lose some of hers.  
  
Kasumi nodded, she wanted to understand what was going on.  
  
Reluctant, even if she needed the girl's help, Featherbrite forged the link. For five seconds, Kasumi saw exactly what each of the people planned to do with Ranma. For those five seconds, she saw directly into their souls.  
  
Kasumi rushed back into the house, found the bathroom, and was very very ill.  
  
Featherbrite waited a few moments, watching as Soun Tendo came outside, inquiring as to what was going on. She tuned out the conversation, knowing what each would say.  
  
As soon as Kasumi stopped heaving, Featherbrite brought the link back up to strength. She had to know. She had to see. Featherbrite linked to Ranma's mind, the friend she had kept from being corrupted completely by his father. Then she fed this directly to Kasumi.  
  
Kasumi's head came up, and she saw Ranma's soul. She saw his character, his strengths and fears, his failings and his triumphs. Kasumi also saw love. He cared deeply about everyone around him. Kasumi wept.  
  
There was a core of iron in each of the Tendo daughters, however, and Kasumi moved back to the front door, pausing as she heard her father speaking with Mister Saotome.  
  
"Twenty million? Plus he still marries my daughter and goes on to produce an heir?" Soun Tendo had his share of vices, one could not train for long under Master Happosai without them. "Well, that doesn't sound so bad..."  
  
Kasumi shuddered. Her own father. Twenty pieces of silver with accrued interest. Ranma wasn't perfect, she'd seen failings as well as virtues, but compared to those who were now loading him into a truck...  
  
Flashes of previously experienced images came back to Kasumi,triggering another surge of nausea. The first thing to be done would to be to inject him with a tracking beacon. Then would begin a medical exam that would never truly end. Every sort of degradation one could expect would be inflicted on Ranma. Once in their lab, Ranma would never escape. One of the Yakuza was already planning how he would rape the female Ranma repeatedly, so that she would then produce children that could become elite smugglers for the Yakuza.   
  
Kasumi shuddered, having seen Hell.   
  
"Featherbrite," Kasumi managed through the sour taste in her mouth, "can you get Shampoo, lead her to the appropriate car, then have her get to the place where we entered your Faerie Realm?"  
  
Featherbrite nodded and shot off at full speed. She could find Shampoo easily enough, there being a link to her own magic. Similarly, she could track Ranma as they had been together for so many years. Kasumi had a plan. This was a Good Thing.  
  
======  
  
(1) "No man is an island." More modern usage might have this as "no single individual is an island." Feedback between environment and one's Self occurs. If Genma were to have joined the Yakuza after leaving Nodoka, he wouldn't be the same individual who selflessly offered his son/daughter to his Master as a target for lechery/beating. Err. Hmmmm. Well, this wouldn't be the same wise and honorable Genma who was ready to let the Tendo union fall by having his "daughter" marry into the Chardin fortune. uhm. Well, he wouldn't be that cuddly a panda.  
  
And yes, i've done this before. In "Source Of Pride" among other things, things get worse for Genma because of this environmental feedback factor. A strong will or self-image might defeat that feedback loop. Does Genma qualify?  
  
------------------  
  
A crowded Tokyo city street. Today, however, something quite unusual was occurring. It would draw attention the world over.  
  
A TV crew filming a commercial for Pocari Sweat got the break of a lifetime. When a woman appeared on a ledge looking over the street, dressed in a very short skirt, they naturally started filming her.  
  
She'd tried to think of what she could say but realized that her command of Japanese wasn't very good and she really wanted to be impressive here. Shampoo muttered something under her breath about how she needed to learn better Japanese. On an impulse she switched to English - which she was a little better at from an American sailor who was known to visit the village occasionally. Ugly fellow but strong fighter. "(You #@$#% #@&*@#s have #$#!#@ed with the wrong #$@($@! woman! In the tradition of 3000 years of #$#@ Amazon #$@#! @$$ kicking, prepare to have your #%*@!^ ugly faces crushed!)"  
  
There were a few screams as the strangely dressed woman leapt off her ledge. When she failed to fall but instead glided through the air to land gracefully atop a streetlamp, this got more attention.   
  
Shampoo held her hand up, forming a sphere of her element above it. Black-clad sunglass wearing figures started getting out of the van and pulling guns out.  
  
"Cold Rinse," announced Shampoo as she unleashed her attack. Admittedly it wasn't much of a magic attack as such things went. Water being conjured up in a continual stream, roughly equivelant to a high pressure fire hose, at the sort of snowmelt temperatures you get from the mountain streams of her homeland.  
  
Being hit with subfreezing water cannon fire, the Yakuza were not amused. Knocked over repeatedly, shivering so badly they couldn't shoot straight, and suffering the beginnings of frostbite - yes. Amused - no.  
  
Shampoo thought about it, discovered she could lower the temperature a little bit more, and did so. Water began freezing solid as soon as it stopped moving. Sweetly and demurely, she passed the various statues, pausing only to beat up two Thugs who obviously had a lack of sense, pulled off one door of the armored car, and hauled out her airen before taking to the air again.  
  
Was only proper for womans of Amazon village to kick major butt. She was really beginning to like certain aspects of this.  
  
-------------  
  
Naoko Takeuchi, trying to think of the newest plotline she could unleash after killing the Senshi off at the end of the Beryl plotline (especially after being visited by a number of Chinese Amazons), dropped her tea and stared at the television.  
  
The nice young man from the animation studio followed her gaze and stopped talking about storyboards. "Oh my."  
  
The figure on the TV screen twirled in midair, formed a sphere of water, and unleashed an attack that wouldn't have been out of place from the fictional Sailor Mercury.  
  
"We gotta sign her!" The intern's eyes sparkled. This could be the mother of all Sentai series!  
  
The newscrew started talking about reaction to "Sailor Amazon." They were tuned out by the two in the conference room.  
  
"Okay, how about this," suggested Naoko, ideas coming to her. The girl was wearing an obvious variation of a Senshi seifuku and was calling herself "Sailor Amazon." Obviously someone had been inspired by Sailor Moon and somehow had decided to go that route herself. "There was a rival kingdom to the Moon Kingdom, and their rivalry weakened both enough that the Dark Kingdom could come in and defeat both. Maybe the Dark Kingdom used distrust and friction between the two kingdoms and got them to attack each other. So they come across the Senshi and bring them back to health, but neither group really likes or trusts the other..."  
  
The intern was writing frantically. "Name of the rival kingdom?"  
  
"Uhm, Sun Kingdom? Rival Moon Kingdom? Star Kingdom? I'll have to work on that later." Naoko watched as the televised Sailor Amazon unleashed a brutal seven strike combo that not only disarmed a gunwielding thug, but probably would put him in ICU.  
  
"Magnificent," breathed the intern. Sailor Amazon was a white hot blur of martial arts fury whose clothing did absolutely nothing to conceal her attractiveness. If they could sign her, (and with the Sailor motif she was probably a fan), then posters would *SELL* to mainstream adolescent males. The usual fan base would buy the usual tie-ins, but this promised *major* marketshare.  
  
"There you have it, live from Nerima! Is this a real life Sailor Senshi? Who IS Sailor Amazon? We'd like to hear from you, 555-71...."  
  
Naoko turned the TV off and looked at the intern. "Sailor Amazon?"  
  
Not surprisingly, the phone began ringing.  
  
-------  
  
"Kasumi?!" A little ways past some guy cooking hot dogs over a fire, there was her big sister.  
  
Kasumi stood there, smiling at her little warrior sister, parasol perched jauntily over one shoulder, and a mound of luggage behind her.  
  
"Shampoo never own that many bags, airen just have backpack last Shampoo knew..." Shampoo watched the darting form of Featherbrite and shrugged. Why ask why?  
  
"My goodness, I didn't know you were a sentai character," exclaimed Kasumi on seeing Shampoo glide up with Ranma in her arms.  
  
Shampoo shrugged as she set shifted Ranma's position in her arms. "Recent thing. Shampoo Amazon Princess! Get powerup! Shampoo got to beat on bad people for hurting airen, so not entirely bad experience."  
  
"They'll be coming!" Featherbrite warned, trying to open the gateway. As she was noticeably exhausted it was quite slow going.  
  
"How will follow? Shampoo fly pretty fast." Shampoo wasn't still that comfortable with great heights. Some instinct kept telling her that she should be falling and not gliding and making things difficult.   
  
"Did they inject Ranma with the tracking tag, then?" Kasumi sadly looked over at the still unconcious Ranma.  
  
"No problem, I'll (huff) just (puff) make an exclusion for (wheeze) that when I get the transport...(unnggg) going!" There was nothing she'd like better to do than rest, but if she did Featherbrite knew not everyone would be there when she woke up.  
  
"Big sister, why you bring all this luggage?"  
  
"Because, Shampoo, I need to get away and think about things for awhile." Kasumi looked slightly pensive. "And I'm not sure I want to be around Genma Saotome right now."  
  
Shampoo grinned. Big Sister agreed with her on what a schmuck the panda was. She'd make a proper Amazon yet, maybe not a warrior, but a proper Amazon nonetheless.  
  
-------------------  
  
A few yards away, Ryouga's head snapped up. "Ranma?!" Those two were talking about Ranma? There couldn't be another one, could there? No, it had to be Saotome!  
  
A rising glow began to appear around the two girls, the mound of luggage, and whoever that was that kid the one girl had slung over her shoulder.  
  
Could it be that his quest was finally over? "RANMA! For the insult of the bread, for the missed duel, I shall make you pay!"  
  
Ryouga started walking but realized that both luggage and girls were fading out. They were getting away! He switched to running.  
  
Shammi noted her airen running and instincts took over. She gave chase.  
  
Ryouga crossed a boundary and began fading away. Shammi, a half second later, also faded. Tiger, staring from a few feet away, wondered what the heck was going on here. After a few minutes of checking the area for signs, she decided to contact Cologne for additional instructions. Di Na would make a good courier while she remained behind to keep an eye on things.  
  
Tiger nodded, it was a good plan.  
  
By the time the Yakuza arrived, the park was empty.  
  
-------------  
  
Ryouga ran through the boundary of the spell and so was ALMOST where Ranma and the others were. Shammi went through the same part of the field as Ryouga and so ALMOST ended up where Ryouga was.  
  
Not being directionally challenged, Shammi was able to find her airen without much difficulty.  
  
Shammi watched her airen go stumbling about until a BIG Thing started towards him.  
  
"AaaaaaH!" Ryouga managed when confronting something that rather resembled a nine foot long three-eyed boar.  
  
"Heheheh, foolish mortal," the boar grinned. "You have intruded into the territory of Greaket, forest imp of the ninth level of the Unseelie Court. You are SO very doomed."  
  
"A talking pig?" Ryouga drew his umbrella. "Uh huh. And how exactly am I doomed?"  
  
"Urrr," Greaket paused. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Wasn't the mortal supposed to be cringing in fear? "I am the mighty Greaket, mortal, and I can call upon you the Doom Of Pigs."  
  
"Big deal. Now why don't you tell me where Ranma is?"  
  
"Huh?! Aggghhhh!"  
  
125 pounds of curvy amazon warrior impacted on the boar's head. "Hello, darling! When did you learn to speak Mandarin?"  
  
"Huh? You're speaking Japanese?" Ryouga froze up as he realized what she had said.  
  
"How dare you use the mighty Greaket as a landing site? You shall be punished!"  
  
Drawing a set of knives out, Shammi grinned. "Darling husband such good provider. Shammi shall make wedding feast!"  
  
"Greaket Final Attack. Doom Of Pigs!" Greaket concentrated and a herd of pigs materialized, splitting up to head for the two mortals.  
  
-------Tendo-ke, Nerima-----  
  
Nabiki was not a happy camper. She was not, in any stretch of even Genma's imagination, pleased. She was unsatisfied with the current situation more than mere words could express.  
  
The contract had been left out on the table. Her father and Genma had apparently left to go celebrate. She'd seen them leaving and had exchanged a few words with them. Then she'd found an empty house, no sign of Ranma, and THIS on the table.  
  
Nabiki prided herself on her business skills and intellectual superiority to the crowds of Furinkan High School. She skimmed the contract then began seperating the meaning from the legalese mumbo jumbo. It didn't paint a pretty picture.  
  
Akane entered the house, somewhat angry over having been to school, gotten into a fight with a practicing soccer team, then discovering that it wasn't even a school day!  
  
"Where is everyone?" Akane said after watching Nabiki reading something and groaning every few paragraphs.  
  
"Our wonderful father and his friend have decided to go celebrate this lousy business deal that they have just made." Nabiki covered her eyes with her hands. If her father knew about this, then this would be worse than the time he'd gotten that "good deal" on Kobe beef. From then on, Kasumi had done all the shopping.  
  
"Dad got another deal?" Akane frowned. "Not another one of those 'once in a lifetime' deals like that 'in your home pachinko parlor' crap?"  
  
"From this, I'd say that Mister Saotome's business skills are at least on a par with father's."  
  
"That bad, huh?" Akane looked around. "So where's Kasumi? For that matter, where's that fiance of yours?"  
  
"Kasumi?" Nabiki blinked, it just now penetrating that she hadn't seen any sign of her elder sister.  
  
-----faerie realm----  
  
Shampoo held the collapsed pixie in her hands. "Featherbrite asleep now. So now what do?"  
  
Kasumi spread a blanket out on the grass and clucked to herself. She should have brought a thermos of tea. Well, one couldn't think of everything. She found where she'd stowed the kettle.  
  
"I wonder if there's any water nearby," Kasumi said. She looked around at the grassy field with a few odd trees sticking up. Ranma would probably be more comfortable if he were male.  
  
"That way," a large crow croaked, wing extended to Kasumi's left. "Stream."  
  
Shampoo stared. Kasumi merely bowed politely and thanked the crow.  
  
The raven, for that is truly what it was, merely shrugged. "Don't mention it." There should be some leftovers around soon. The raven blinked again as the smell of roasting pork reached it. Hmmm. This bore looking into.  
  
------------  
  
The fire crackled cheerily. Strips of meat were cooking on tiny little sticks, filling the air with the smell of roast pork.  
  
"Husband is such a good provider!" Shammi smiled, maybe this would work out after all. Too bad they weren't back at the village, she really hated to waste the meat but there was too much to carry.  
  
"H-hu-husband?" Ryouga repeated for what had to be the twentieth time since Shammi and Ryouga discovered that they could speak to each other.  
  
"Yes, husband." Shammi's eyes flicked towards her new husband. He seemed a little shy, which she found endearing. Much easier to take the proper aggressive in-control role for an Amazon with such a mate.  
  
"MMMRgghhhhhfffff!" The decapitated head of Greaket struggled to spit the apple out of his mouth. He was still quite angry about this turn of events. Was he not the mighty Greaket? This was a temporary setback! He'd teach these upstart mortals to mess with a member of the Unseelie Court!   
  
Ryouga stared at the woman as if he couldn't believe this. A girl. A pretty girl. A pretty girl was interested in HIM!?! No, it couldn't be. This was a joke right? Right. Had to be. A pretty girl couldn't be leaning close to him now, brushing his hair back so that she could look into his eyes. A pretty girl couldn't be giving him a slightly pouty look and asking him if he was hungry for anything, just anything at all...  
  
With a fountain of blood erupting from both nostrils, Ryouga fainted.  
  
Shammi stared for a moment, swore, and turned back to the cooking meat. Feh. Fighting got her hot, she knew. All revved up and nowhere to go. Maybe this wouldn't work out after all.  
  
------  
  
"Where's Kasumi?" Ranma tried to sit up, only to fall back immediately.  
  
"She try to get water, been gone long time." Shampoo was torn. Her airen couldn't defend himself, and her big sister was out there without anyone to defend her. The little faerie was still unconscious. What was she to do?  
  
"Shampoo," Ranma gasped. "I'll be fine. Drugs are just making me woozy. I don't seem to be as able to fight 'em off in my faerie form as I would if I were a guy. But I can cope..."  
  
Shampoo watched her airen collapse again. "Shampoo think airen is, how Nabiki say, full of it." Maybe she should just check up on Kasumi and come right back?  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Kasumi filled the kettle with the cold water from the stream. She'd still have to find a way to heat it up, but that would come when she could rejoin the others.  
  
Kasumi stopped as she felt a presence. Background data began to accumulate. A faint smell reached her, a not entirely unpleasant smell that reminded her of old leather easy chairs.  
  
The large cave near the waterfall seemed to be the source of the smell and the feeling of presence.  
  
"Uhm, hello, is anyone there?" Kasumi called, wondering if this was some sort of faerie like Featherbrite.  
  
Glowing yellow eyes, each bigger than Kasumi's head appeared within the darkness of the cave. A low growl rumbled as something made itself known.  
  
With a roar, the beast launched itself forwards.  
  
------------------------  
  
continued...  
  
====================  
  
  
just an omake by Gregg Sharp, with scenes from White Pheonix and feedback from Kender_Sci  
  
omake (japanese: "extra") fanfiction use: refers to a tag at the end of the real story, sometimes a short scene, an outtake, or a spamfic.   
  
-------------  
  
"How bad could it be?" A Ranma grumbled. This particular Ranma had come to this place, Mimir's Well, because it was a point where multiple realities could be viewed easily. After marrying Akane, seeing his child killed, having the marriage break up due to that, having Akane find solace in Ryouga's arms, until the youngest Tendo ended up in a sanitarium, he sought to find an Akane he could take away from the native Ranma. Then he'd found out about a group of simulations being run called "A Worse Father Than Genma" and had gotten peeved.  
  
Toltiir, Elder god of mischief, a being of extreme levels of power, blinked. "Very bad. Or very good. Depending on your viewpoint."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Observe," said the black cat as he showed a favorite timeline of his. "You know how a statue can create a template at Jusenkyo. Witness Rouge as Shiva for an example. Well, this is just the case of a few toys which were lost by a girl named Plum which then tumbled into pools. The Guide kept his daughter away, and now there's a very different fate awaiting Ranma at Jusenkyo."  
  
"Big deal," said Ranma.  
  
"And when the form is of a sort of cat, and you get submerged in a different sort of Catfist." The feline smirked as the image cleared.  
  
"Oh... heck."  
  
-------------  
  
"Oh no! Sir fall in spring that Plum just drop toy in last week! Could have been terrible tragic story!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAaaaaaa... Well this isn't the Thousand Acre Wood!"  
  
"Ranma?" A splash of hot water had turned Genma back to human but he wasn't sure of what he was looking at.  
  
"Hi! I'm Tigger! That's Tea-Eye-Double Ga-Errr!" The anthropomorphic tiger waved. "Don't suppose you've seen Pooh?"  
  
"What's a 'tigger'?" asked Genma after watching the critter deftly avoid being splashed by hot water from the Guide.  
  
"The wonderful thing about Tiggers  
Is Tiggers are wonderful things  
Their tops are made out of rubber  
Their bottoms are made out of springs  
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy  
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!  
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers   
Is I'm the only one.  
  
"The wonderful thing about Tiggers   
Is Tiggers are wonderful chaps  
They're loaded with vim and with vigor  
They love to leap in your laps  
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy pouncy  
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN  
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers  
Is I'm the only one.  
  
"Tiggers are wonderful fellahs.  
Tiggers are awfully sweet.  
Everyone elses is jealous,   
And thats why I repeat...  
  
"The wonderful thing about Tiggers  
Are Tiggers are wonderful things  
Their tops are made out of rubber  
Their bottoms are made out of springs  
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy  
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!  
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers   
Is I'm the only one.  
  
"Yes, I'm the only one (GRRrrrrrr...) ooOOoooOOooooOOOO!!!"  
  
Genma blinked again as the critter bounced entirely out of the Jusenkyo area and down the road. "Well, that was obviously not Ranma. He's got to be around here somewhere."  
  
------  
  
SPRING OF DROWNED TIGGER REDEAUX, an omake  
some characters © 1974 by The Walt Disney Company  
  
------  
  
(bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, boing, spring)  
  
"Ah hah, I says to myself," said Tigger/Ranma to himself. "A village. I'll just mosey by and see if they can give me some directions to the Thousand Acre Wood. Ooo hooo hooo hooooo!"  
  
(bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, boing, spring)  
  
-----  
  
After having knocked Shampoo unconscious (by bouncing off her head) and landing in the village asking for directions to something called the "Thousand Acre Wood" - Cologne had asked what he was. Which had been followed by asking what a 'Tigger' was.  
  
Which, of course, was followed by much bouncing and singing the song depicted two scenes ago.  
  
At which point Shampoo brought out an old battered and raggedy copy of a 1970 Chinese bootleg edition of a Disney Winnie The Pooh storybook and compared the creature currently sitting on her head to the creature in the book. Everyone stared LOTS.  
  
Which was when Lilac's tea got spilled and Tigger turned into Ranma.  
  
Ranma was more than a little startled by this as he never remembered anything that happened when he was under the Nekoken. This had been a little different however and he vaguely remembered something happening. Just not the details.  
  
Shampoo thought about this briefly, but the interrupted Tournament was resumed and she had to put those considerations aside for now.  
  
To make matter worse, while Ranma was off getting the Third Degree from the Elders, some panda started eating the First Prize!  
  
------  
  
"They'll be here any moment," said Soun, waving around the postcard.  
  
"Let me see that," said Nabiki, holding out her hand. Upon receiving it, she held it where she and her sisters could all read it at the same time.  
  
The first part was in poor penmanship. [Tendo. Back from China. Bringing Ranma. -Genma]  
The second part was written in English. [Me too - T.]  
The third part was written in much better handwriting. [Shampoo say hello! Have aspirin ready please.]  
  
(boing)  
  
"What was that?" Nabiki asked.  
  
(boing)  
  
"What was what?" Soun asked.  
  
(boing boing)  
  
"There it is again," said Nabiki.  
  
(boing toing boing bounce)  
  
"It sounds like," began Akane.  
  
(boing bounce toing boing bounce skip hop) "Wooohooo hooo HOOOO!"  
  
"It's getting closer," said Nabiki as she headed for the door.  
  
(bounce boing toing bounce skip grab bounce boing bing hop tumble)  
  
Everyone looked to where Nabiki was currently pounced on by a stuffed tiger.  
  
"Hello," said the tiger, his nose half an inch from Nabiki's startled face. "Name's Tigger. That's Tea - Eye - Double Guh Errrrr. Say. You're cute."  
  
"Huh?!" Nabiki was wondering where this had come from. Also why, how, and a number of other things.  
  
Akane briefly considered, then decided a strange talking tiger sitting on her sister's chest could mean only one thing. She casually picked a stone lantern out of the back yard and brought it down on the little pervert.  
  
"AAAGGGHHH!" Tigger yelped as he leapt back out of the way.  
  
"AAAGGHHHH!" Nabiki screamed as the obvious result occurred.  
  
Looking at the small crater in the Tendo home, from which Nabiki's arms and legs and a heavy stone lantern projected, Akane realized that the pervert critter wasn't there. "Hey, who are you and why were you groping my sister?"  
  
"I'm Tigger and that Saotome guy said I had a fiancee here," Tigger waggled his eyebrows. "Naturally, I wanted to know what a fiancee was."  
  
"That's nice," said Kasumi, recognizing the character. "Would you like some tea, Mister Tigger?"  
  
"Absotively Posilutely," said the agreeable critter. "Now what?"  
  
"You *want* a fiancee?" Akane paused, ready to unleash more outraged feminine wrath.  
  
"Don't mind me," said a voice from within the crater. "I'm fine. Really."  
  
"Of course, I want a fiancee," said Tigger. "It involves bouncing. I love bouncing."  
  
Akane gasped. Kasumi smiled politely and poured tea.  
  
"You like bouncing?" Akane had known this was a pervert, now she was vindicated.   
  
"Bouncing is what Tiggers do best," declared Tigger.  
  
Akane twitched as she sidled around the little creature. She'd smash him flat in just a moment. "Oh really?"  
  
"Yuppers!" Tigger nodded and sat on his tail. "Why, Tiggers are just natural bouncers. I bounce every chance I get."  
  
"Got you!" Akane said, bringing the table down on top of the creature.  
  
Tigger seemed to flatten momentarily between the table and the floor, then spring back the next moment. *BOING*  
  
The table flew into the next room, a very startled looking Akane trailing it like the tail on a kite. *CRASH!*  
  
"...serves you right..." mumbled Nabiki from her crater. "Could someone get this lantern off me?"  
  
Akane staggered back into the room. "What *are* you?"  
  
"I told ya, I'm Tigger!" insisted Tigger.  
  
"What's a Tigger?"   
  
(cue song, see lyrics above, lots of bouncing and pouncing)  
  
"You engaged Nabiki to a Tigger?" Akane demanded of her father, having a sudden inspiration.  
  
"Oh my, Father, that was nice. I'll get the formal teaset," declared Kasumi, making a note to also hide breakables.  
  
"excuse me?" said a voice within a crater.  
  
"Waaaaa! My little girl is getting married from her deathbed!"  
  
"Excuse please!"   
  
"Growf!"  
  
"Oh my, more visitors," said Kasumi, who wasn't all that surprised to see some young girl and a pet panda after meeting Tigger. She was just disappointed that Eeyore and Mr. Rabbit weren't along. And Pooh, of course.  
  
--------  
  
Later...  
  
A sleepy Kasumi wandered in her nightgown to the parlor where the rest of the family was having a late night chat. She yawned, clutching a pillow in one arm. "I'm sorry, Mister Tigger, but I'm having trouble getting to sleep. Would you please come share my bed with me?"  
  
"Absotively Posilutely," said the agreeable critter, bouncing up the stairs with her.  
  
"That, that..." Akane gasped, eye twitching.  
  
"My plush toy fiance is cheating on me?" Nabiki gasped. "With my *eldest sister*??"  
  
A song floated down the stairs about Tiggers being cuddlesome critters.  
  
Soun began wailing about his daughters, mommy's little girl, and so on.  
  
Genma, who was already very drunk, had resolved to get more drunk.  
  
Shampoo got up from the table, yawning wearily. She murmurred sleepily. "Is good idea. Shampoo going join them now."  
  
As the family facefaulted, scandalized, the tired Amazon went up the stairs, found the right door by the bouncing sounds behind it, and entered as Tigger concluded his cuddly Tigger song and bounced into bed with the eldest Tendo girl.  
  
Kasumi happily wrapped the plush toy, almost visibly changing back from 'guardian of the household wa' to a cute little four year old girl whose mommy was sure to be around watching over her. She sucked her thumb.  
  
Shampoo also seemed to regress from village champion to little girl as she just lifted the covers to crawl in and grasp Tigger's other side.  
  
----  
  
Kuno paused. "You're a little orange tiger. And you're marrying that soulless mercenary Nabiki Tendo? That Yakuza wannabe?"  
  
"Yup," said Tigger. "She doesn't bounce so good just now, but I'll make her a great bouncer!"  
  
Kuno turned red and then white and then back to red. "You've done what with her?"  
  
Tigger bounced past Kuno. "Yup. She'll be even better at bouncing than that Akane girl in hardly any time. Just watch."  
  
Kuno blinked, turning white again. "Akane... has... you... I... what?!"  
  
Tigger bounced all the way to the classroom. "Dis must be the place. Ooohooo hooo HOOOO!"  
  
--------  
  
Kuno sat at his desk, the very picture of despair. "Akane has given her virginity to an animated plush toy?"  
  
Unfortunately he said this while class was in session. It got very quiet in the classroom thereafter.  
  
--------  
  
A haggard and haunted Nabiki, at school surrounded by curious classmates, halted all conversation as she whispered in dull monotones. "Kasumi won't go to bed without Tigger anymore."  
  
Downstairs, a haunted Akane also whispered to a stunned class. "That chinese floozy and my sister... together with Tigger..."  
  
Kuno wandered the halls, his eyes glazed while constantly muttering. "A plush toy has stolen the virginity of my dear Akane..."  
  
----  
  
Girl's Gym Class:  
  
"Hello, students. We'll be having a new assistant instructor today."  
  
(bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, boing, spring)  
  
Nabiki found herself lying on her back with her plush fiance's furry nose barely an inch from hers. "Hello. Name's Tigger. That's Tea - Eye - Double Guh Errrrr for those that don't know, ya' know. Today we'll have a class on Bouncing!"  
  
Blushing furiously, the girls of the class all tried to excuse themselves.  
  
"Wait a minute," said Midori mere moments after Nabiki had fainted. "That's *Tigger*!"  
  
"Woo hoo hoo HOOOO, that's right!" (cue song, bouncing off heads and all available horizontal surfaces.)  
  
"Ohhhhhhhhh," said the Girl's Gym Class.  
  
"We'll leave Miss Tendo right here-like," suggested Tigger. "I think she's gotta delicate constitutional or something. Follow me!" (bounce, bounce, sproing, boing, bing, bong, spring, pounce) "Like that! GRRrrrrrr... ooOOoooOOooooOOOO!!!"  
  
------  
  
Later:  
  
On finding herself in the Nurse's office, Nabiki had rushed back to class.  
  
She was beginning to wish she hadn't.  
  
"Bouncing is FUN," said Midori. "Kind of tiring though."  
  
Nabiki twitched.  
  
Natsuki agreed. "My legs and butt hurt, but it was just so much fun today."  
  
Nabiki twitched some more.  
  
Ayako rubbed her lower back. "My goodness. Who'd have thought you'd get such a good workout from something like THAT."  
  
Nabiki twitched LOTS.  
  
"Hey, Nabiki, hope you're feeling better," said Midori, for once caring about the mercenary icequeen. After all, if she were engaged to *Tigger* there had to be a side to Nabiki Tendo that nobody had seen before. "You are SO lucky to have a fiance like Tigger."  
  
"Yeah, I wish *my* boyfriend could be half that cuddly and energetic," agreed Ayako.  
  
"She fainted again," pointed out Natsuki.  
  
-------  
  
Tatewaki Kuno was in hell. Or perhaps it would be more proper to say HELL.  
  
"I have been upstaged by a three foot tall talking tiger," mumbled Tatewaki Kuno.   
  
"You're kidding, you were watching?" asked Hiroyuki.  
  
"No kidding. He took the entire girl's gym class for rides, and he had them all bouncing all over the place, it was..." Tetsuo's eyes glazed as he remembered. The music, the bouncing, the giggling, the strange warm and fuzzy sort of atmosphere. Especially the bouncing. The girls gym class. flashing legs bouncing... "...kinda surreal. Guy's got a lot of energy - he never slowed down."  
  
Tatewaki Kuno fell over as if he had just been turned to wood and chopped down. Why couldn't that have been *him?* "I must smite this villain!"  
  
"Careful he doesn't bounce you," suggested Tetsuo.  
  
"GAK!" The great and noble Tatewaki Kuno felt something unthinkable. Fear.  
  
-------   
  
"Tigger-chan, can you come tuck me in and read to me?" Kasumi called sweetly from the top of the steps. "It's cuddle time again." She smiled charmingly.  
  
"Woo hoo hoo HOOOO!! Hurray!" (Bouncing off of every wall, ceiling, floor and railing as the plush toy responded to the summons).  
  
"Shampoo not miss this, too." (bouncing up the steps herself)  
  
Nabiki cried wet tears down both sides of her face, weeping over the toy she loved cheating so openly on her.  
  
-----  
  
Golden Pair Martial Arts Figure Skating.  
  
"Nabiki! Little Azusa challenges you! The winner keeps Matrina as her own!"  
  
"Land's sakesss," grumbled Tigger. "How can she still not get my name right?"  
  
--------  
  
Nabiki stood outside her sister's door, daring herself to enter. The sounds of bouncing, laughing and giggling was just too hard for her to hear. It went on night after night. She steeled herself, reaching for the Ice Queen and finding only water, it flowed down both her cheeks as she reached out to open the door. Blinded by her tears, she stepped in long enough to sob.  
  
"Tigger... Ranma, I... I *love* you... and, *snif*, if... if you want, I'll... you can go ahead and... *sob*... make love to my sisters and those other girls too. I won't mind, *snif*, just so long as you love me too."  
  
Kasumi and Shampoo, who'd been playing innocent card games with Tigger, looked at each other, then at Tigger (who'd chased a sobbing Nabiki out of the room when she'd fled, trying to cheer her up), and shrugged.  
  
"Work for Shampoo. Glad sister make offer. Very nice-nice."  
  
Kasumi just smiled enigmatically and reached for the bag of marbles. "Shall we play another game till Tigger-chan comes back?"  
  
----  
  
Dr. Tofu steadily and calmly looked over Akane's butt as she leaned forward over the examination table, pants down around her ankles. "Hmm, I'd say that you're not getting enough lower body exercise for the kind of bouncing you're trying to do. Jogging just works the muscle groups differently. You might want to go more slowly until you get used to it."  
  
"NO WAY!!!" Akane shouted, standing straight and clenching a fist. "I'LL SHOW HIM!! I'M GOING TO BE THE BEST BOUNCER IN NERIMA!!"  
  
Tatewaki Kuno, leaning against the clinic's outside wall, heard this and continued to cry.  
  
--------  
  
(bounce bounce toing boing spring jump somersault bounce twang bop boink bounce) "Oooo hooo hooo HOOOO!"   
  
Daisuke shook his head at the usual antics going on behind him. Ranma/Tigger had been at the school over a month now and... the little guy just seemed to grow on you - what with that "can do" attitude and somewhat moronic but enthusiastic approach to life.  
  
"Where... is Furinkan High School?"  
  
"You're here," said Daisuke.  
  
Ryouga exclaimed happily. "At last! Now. Where is Ranma Saotome!"  
  
"Well, he's..."  
  
*splash!*  
  
Daisuke looked around. Where was that guy that had been here a moment ago?  
  
"Oh well, hopeless I guess, let me just go and have a sit down."  
  
Daisuke blinked and looked down. A blue plush burro roughly four feet long and a little over two feet high. "EEYORE?!"  
  
"So I'm told," sighed Ryouga heavily. "Don't mind me. I..."  
  
(stampede trample cloud-o-dust)  
  
"IT *IS*!" squealed Midori.  
  
"Uhm, excuse me," sighed Eeyore/Ryouga again dejectedly. "I'll just be going."  
  
"No," corrected Midori with nods from the crowd of girls around her.  
  
"No?" Ryouga said, sure this was going to be another nightmare.  
  
"No," repeated Midori. "You're *way* too cute!" The crowd of girls nodded at this.  
  
"I'm... what?" For Ryouga this was like being told that instead of the expected firing squad, you'd just been issued an invitation to a banquet.  
  
At which point a half dozen young girls grabbed him, hoisted him up, and hauled his plush toy body up to their classroom.  
  
Another sigh escaped his lips. "...damn you, Ranma, it's all your fault I keep getting cuddled by strange mainly cute women..."   
  
Daisuke slowly climbed back to his feet. "I'm getting used to being trampled but Midori really needs to stop wearing those heels. Ouch."  
  
----------  
  
The Black Rose tried to ambush this Furinkan crowd.  
  
Operative word - *tried.*  
  
Every attack was neatly avoided as the girls *bounced* out of the way.  
  
What was worse was that she thought that her own presence had been largely ignored.  
  
"This is intolerable! I shall..." (trip, thud, wham!) trip over a large plush donkey?!  
  
*Weary sigh.* "Sorry about that. My own fault really. Oh the humanity of it."  
  
"How DARE you trip the... Black rose of saint hebere... ke..." Kodachi's violet eyes stared as she took in the sight. There hadn't been a number of pleasant memories of her childhood, but one had just surfaced. When her mother had read to her from a book, and in that book had been. "...eeyore?!"  
  
"So I'm told," sighed Ryouga/Eeyore.  
  
Kodachi twitched. "That's it. I'm done experimenting with black lotus. This is entirely too surreal. Hmmm. That would explain why I couldn't strike the girls, early effects of a hallucination."  
  
"Tell me about it," agreed Ryouga/Eeyore.  
  
"You're obviously some aspect of my own personality viewed through this hallucination," mused Kodachi Kuno. "I think that's how this sort of thing is supposed to work. Probably the innocent child I could have been. So, what bit of wisdom can you impart to me?"  
  
Ryouga/Eeyore ruminated on this briefly. He had to admit that he became a good deal more thoughtful/philosophical in his cursed form and also tended to be more depressed. And while he might rail against the inhumanity of it all, being grabbed up and cuddled by strange girls wasn't quite the horrific curse he often made it out to be. He took one look at the girl and thoughtfully came up with a suggestion. Which, oddly enough, had originated with advice Tigger had given him. "Lighten up. Don't take things too seriously. Go out and have fun once in awhile at least."  
  
Kodachi nodded and vowed to give it a try.  
  
-----  
  
Happosai vs Tigger. Ohh, the pain...  
  
----  
  
(bounce, bounce, bounce)  
  
The students hopped by, over the trees, over the rooftops, in between fences and out of alleys on their ways to school.   
  
(bounce, bounce, bounce)  
  
All of them practically immune to her ladle throws.  
  
(bounce, bounce, bounce)  
  
The ladle lady was washing her walk, flinging the water about in all directions, trying to catch a *single* student. Her daily average had sunk so far she now hit less than each week than she used to in a *morning*!  
  
(bounce, bounce)  
  
  
----  
  
(Boing, boing, bing, sproing, pounce!!)  
  
Ukyo Kuonji lay on her back, looking up at the furry tiger perched on her chest peering at her an inch away from her nose. "Hi! Name's Tigger. That's Tea...."  
  
"Wha.. what... WHAT!!???" The chef on a vengeance quest skittered along backwards she dislodged the plush tiger and managed to end up fifteen feet away with her battle spatula in hands. Hair sproinged, she demanded. "What are YOU!!?"  
  
(cue song, see lyrics above, lots of bouncing and pouncing)  
  
At the end of the song Ukyo found herself face down on the ground with a cute and cuddlesome Tigger perched on the small of her back.  
  
He bent over to poke his head in her face. "Do you know Pooh?"  
  
Ukyo's smudged face scrunched up in a mimic of consternation, but her heart wasn't in it. "No, I'm on a vengeance quest against the man who stole my honor."  
  
"A Quest!!" Tigger shouted excitedly, bouncing her to a sitting position with him in her lap. "That's the sort of thing Pooh would do! Christopher Robin would too! Ooohooo hooo HOOOO!"  
  
-----  
  
Taro brings spring of 'virtuous man' water to splash Happosai, and gets...  
  
Soun. With Spring Of Drowned Rabbitt water. Terrible tragic story.  
  
He took up gardening shortly thereafter.  
  
----  
  
Miss Hinako Ninomiya sat at the front of the classroom licking on a gigantic sucker while cuddling Eeyore under one arm and Tigger under the other.  
  
A student raised her hand. "Excuse me, miss Hinako?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"We don't think it's fair that *only* you get to cuddle them during classtimes."  
  
----  
  
Nabiki counted her money.  
  
She counted it again.  
  
She glanced over to the dojo, shaking her head at the strange music whistling out from all corners, and the shockingly huge pile of discarded shoes at the entrance.  
  
Her parent, the bum, man most likely to drink himself into a stupor or cry himself to dehydration over everyday events, had managed beyond all odds to give her a fiance with at least three unusual (some would say impossible) talents. Of course he now spent a lot of time as a humanoid rabbit trying to keep Tigger from bouncing around in his garden. Back to said fiance...  
  
One, he had saved their dojo from financial insolvency without any apparent effort, and was doing more outside the doors; helping out in classes, schoolyards, and just strangers on the street like a walking... err, *bouncing* PR firm.  
  
Two, as a direct consequence of #1, he had, independant of any help from her, completely redeemed her from her Ice Queen persona, saved her reputation, and made her enormously popular.  
  
Three, Kasumi was laughing and giggling all the time, and, she had to admit, Nabiki was doing her share of that too. Even Akane was known to forgive the Tigger's perceived pervertedness on occasion at hearing Kasumi laugh. It was as if the pall of gloom that had hung over their doors from infancy was gone, vamooshed, vanished.  
  
Shampoo had rennovated the front of the Tendo house into a ramen stand and now sold as much volume to the students as the concession stands at a sports stadium. Ukyo had bought the property across the street and now ran an all-night Bouncercize and Eatery. (It was strongly recommended that one do it in exactly that order.)  
  
Nabiki was earning fifteen percent from just sitting on her buttocks, engaged to one of the most cuddlesome cash cows ever imagined.  
  
His panda of a father was laying in a depressed and despairing stupor in his own little corral, as the prime attraction to the neighborhood children's petting zoo.  
  
She shrugged and bounced off to join the class.  
  
========== 


End file.
